Is it wrong to love horsey feet this much?

(That is a great question to ask random people, by the way. Particularly non-horsey, non-trimming people who will have no idea what you mean but will be seriously confused and/or creeped out)

Since I started trimming Sofie's feet back in March, I've gone through many phases as a DIY trimmer. At first, I tried to leave her with more wall and heel because she seemed to like it better than the classic barefoot trim. And she did like it (for some reason she loves having giant hoof walls and absolutely no sole and frog contact) but I did not love watching her feet degrade into wonky, flare-y messes (not to mention her frogs shriveled up to nothing without stimulation).

I have pictures from that stage, but I don't want to share them because yeccch.

So I changed tactics, and went back to more of a Ramey trim on her, although I do leave her with a bit more wall and heel than Ann used to. She just does not like having her heels taken all the way down for some reason. Her soles are plenty thick, and her frogs are nicely developed, but she lives on soft sand, so when she faces gravel or rocks, she wants a little bit of wall support. I don't blame her for that one.

Having absolutely no guidance, it was a bit of a challenge for me to figure out what I was doing with her feet. (I love it when people ask me "Oh, did you take a course or something to learn how to do that?" And I always give some lame answer back, like, "No, but I always paid attention to how she was being trimmed in the past". Like, basically, I'm a clueless idiot rasping away at my horse's feet for no reason whatsoever. Be afraid!) I compensated for that lack of leadership with a genuine interest and enthusiasm for horsey feet. I've always been a hoof nerd (taking your horse through hoof rehab and seeing hurting feet become rock crunching will do that to you) and I had been interested in learning to trim for a while. When it became a necessity, I went with it. I have a pretty good feel for it, and if I pay attention and make a thorough effort, I do a good job. But I still occasionally do dumb things like let her toes get too long, and then wonder why she's walking weird in front (of course my mind immediately jumped to "OMG she is developing arthritis in her KNEES now!" Uh, nope, you just left way too much fucking toe on your horse, so now she's landing toe first. Good guess, though. Extra points for the note of panic in your voice, too).

If I had access to a reliable, quality barefoot trimmer, I would not trim my own horse. But, I have come to enjoy it (it helps that summer is over. Everyone who trims probably agrees with me that summer is the worst time to do trimming. It's hard for your horse to even try to cooperate when they're covered in biting flies, ugh). It took a while, but I feel like I've finally reached a point where I'm competent, I'm consistent, and I'm doing the best thing possible for my horse. And, I've gotten faster, too. I just recently did a full trim in less than an hour. I appreciate quickness, and so does my horse, who is not exceptionally patient or cooperative when a trim drags on and on.

So, onto the pictures! We'll start with where we started from, Sofie when I bought her. Fucking. Neglect.


Anything's got to be better than this, right?


Left front.


Right front (I see the wonkiness with the bar on that one side, and I fixed it right after I looked at these pictures).


Fronts from the front! I think there's a bit of flare on those outer walls that I've been working on eliminating, but Ann saw these and didn't mention anything?


Left hind.


Right hind, the wonky hind, the one that always wants to veer off sideways and be all twisted. You can see it's not quite right, but it's stabilized at least. You can also see the ringbone on that leg! This is most definitely a case of body issues causing foot wonkiness. She just does not track straight or land straight, and the hoof grows awkwardly because of all the landing and twisting. If I take the inside wall down all the way and pretty much leave the outside wall alone, it balances as much as it's going to.


Hinds from the front. Even the wonky foot doesn't look terrible from this angle, and in the past, you could clearly see that it was all twisted.

I had Ann, my old trimmer take a look at these pictures the other day, and she had nothing but good things to say. It was extremely heartening, and nice to get a professional opinion. She's pretty outspoken if she doesn't approve of something, so I must not be doing a terrible job!

In a Relationship...with my horse

After much holding out, I recently joined Facebook, and I was surprised by how awkward it was for me to fill out a profile (well, not really, because I tend to feel awkward about a lot of things, but nevertheless). The site seemed to glorify and dramatize such basic human achievements such as being born (OMG who does that?!) and getting a job, referring to them as Life Events in your Timeline (the Capitol Letters make it all very Important Sounding). Which is all a bit much. But Relationship Status is by far the most awkward part of it. I came a smidgen away from just leaving it blank, but I decided that since I actually have a relationship now (a rather big change for formally perma-single me), so too would I have a Relationship Status. So I filled it in, and, yep, just like that it became yet another Life Event for me.

But recently, while I was contemplating the total awkwardness of Relationship Statuses, considering my own romantic history versus other people's, and questioning what it really takes to commit to someone over the long term (yup, things get real deep up in here), I came to the realization that I have been in a long-term relationship. With my horse. Sofie and I are approaching five years together.

And it's been a turbulent five years, not exactly smooth sailing. When we got together, there was baggage, considerable baggage that we both struggled under and dumped on each other continually. There has been chronic pain, injury, health crises and a whole shitload of anxiety. I've seen her through hoof rehab, hock fusion, ringbone and the unforgettable Christmas Eve colic. She's changed me from a girl who needed help bringing her own horse in from the field to someone who takes care of 50 horses in the dark, the snow and the cold, single-handedly. She took a girl who was crippled by lingering fear from a years-old fall from a lesson horse and gave her the confidence to walk into a field of horses and hold her own. To stand her ground and firmly discipline a boundary-testing stallion. To ride a runaway and come away laughing.

After this long together, we both know where we stand. She watches me when I walk out to her field; she knows I'm her person. I look out for her, keeping the bitchy mare in the next field from bothering her when she wants a drink from the waterer. She looks out for me, watching her surroundings carefully when we're out on the trail, or remembering I'm there when she spooks and I'm crouched underneath her, wrapping a leg wound. She stops from the mere tension of a strip of vetwrap. She's that in tune.

And like any long-term relationship, there are good moments and bad, long stretches of comfort and enjoyment deviated by the occasional annoyance. There are times when, much as you love the other person (horses are people, too), you just feel like yelling "I hate you" at them (or just straight up murdering them). We certainly have had those days, particularly last spring, when I was stressed out and unhappy, dealing with the dispersal of my goats after a long winter of struggles with disease in my previously healthy herd. We clashed, we struggled. We got caught up in each others' anxiety.

We are alike, Sofie and I, to a shocking degree. We both work hard, we don't quit easily. We dig in. And when we get nervous, when we get tense, we don't stop and think. We plow forward, full speed ahead, going faster and faster in all the worse ways, making a mess of everything, trying way too hard. She tries so much, even through the pain. That's where we're similar, too.

The riding gets better with time, certainly. Sofie is more connected, more consistent than she has ever been. For my part, I'm sitting taller, more engaged, working with her. Dressage has become steady and fun, and easy language of seat, leg and rein aids, bodies moving together in balance. Occasionally she'll get too quick, too strong, and she'll need a firm correction. But for the most part, she's a dream to ride, and I'm getting more of those lovely, weightless moments when she's moving lightly, almost catlike, highly controllable but energetic and free.

We've been through so much, and there is so much more to come. I'm looking forward to our future together, and I'm pretty sure Sofie would say the same. Because the best thing that has come from our time together, the thing I am most proud of, is her trust. After more than four years, I feel as though she's taken a deep breath, and let go of a lot of her anxiety, for good.

It will never be completely gone. There will always be her past to contend with, and some of it simply stems from her basic nature - tough, smart, overachieving and overthinking. But it doesn't flare up like it used to, leaving her incapable of thinking, a prey animal on the run. It's controllable. It doesn't take over her mind. I can push her now when I couldn't before, working on new skills, eliminating annoying little habits, or working her through the inevitable stiffness. She can work through the discomfort now, mental or physical, and give a little more. She's more willing than ever before. She just seems content, even happy, to go to work for me.

I think she's realized, finally, that whatever my flaws and shortcomings, I care about her, and we are in this together. She's realized that I won't treat her like an ATV, that I won't take her on a five-hour ride when her hocks hurt and her feet hurt and everything hurts. She knows I will take care of her, because I've proven it over time. And she finally believes it.

And without having this horse in my life, I don't know where I'd be. I know I wouldn't be driving a car. I wouldn't have my job, I wouldn't have ambitions and hopes for the future. I'm pretty sure I would still just be aimless.

I love you, Sofa. Finding you was the biggest Life Event of my life.

First trim

Due to some serious scheduling issues that left Sofie going way too long between trims, and a growing desire to be able to maintain her feet myself, without ever needing to make those major adjustments that can be jarring to a sensitive horse like Sofie. With my farrier's blessing, I bought some tools and have begun learning to trim her myself. I now carry a Hoofjack in the backseat of my car, and have a bunch of rasps riding around with me also.

And let me just say, I LOVE the Hoofjack. Best, easiest design EVER! So many things are NOT user friendly...this is!

I began by just taking her toes back a little, and familiarizing myself with the rasping process. By last Wednesday, I was ready to do more of an actual trim. I found the process to be much less physically taxing than I'd feared (it helps that I'm only doing light rasping, and, again, the Hoofjack is a miracle), and it was enjoyable because I know and like my horse. I would not want to do other people's horses, ever, but I'm not going for professional status here so that's just fine.

Her fronts were very, very easy. They are in very good shape with no issues other than that they tend to grow a lot. The frequent rasping will really help with that! I mostly worked on making sure that her toes were not getting too long, and I tried to address some balance issues that have crept back into her hinds with those long intervals. They are still far better than they used to be, but some flares and general wonkiness resulted from her going way way too long between trims.

I would like to aim to eventually leave her with a bit more heel, and a bit more wall, as I think she likes having some additional support. But it is still winter, and I am going to use this time to seriously address these flares and try to get those hinds back to where they were this summer, when they were almost perfect. No sense leaving her with a longer wall if it is all flare!

I was reasonably pleased with the way her hinds looked after my trim. I did see some improvement, and I found out with some belated reading that my instinct to take down the inner walls more was right on. I still have a lot to learn and get comfortable with, but I'm confident that I will be able to do a good job and I can only improve from here.

Her feet were professionally attended to around a month ago, so I have not yet had to break out my shiny new hoof knife, but I will need to trim those bars pretty soon.

Fronts:


Hinds:


LF, side view:


Hinds, side view:


LH, underside view:


LF, underside view:


Sofie, for her part, was super dubious the first time I broke out my trimming supplies.

"Are you even qualified to do this?"

Getting Somewhere

We had a great fall, with a solid month of being able to canter during rides and feeling unstoppable. But during the transition to winter, we hit a few snags, as usual. Sofie began to show signs of soreness on turns, so we did more straight work. She was still sound at the canter. Then, at the end of November, she developed a lump on her right hind pastern. High ringbone. The lump was cold and hard when it appeared, so it was clearly not new or acute, but it was still troubling, especially when I read some fairly dire-sounding articles about the effects of ringbone. I was crushed that we had come so far, having seen her through hock fusion, only to be hit with another type of arthritis. And I felt terrible for having not clued in to the signs that she was feeling sore sooner than I did. Could I have prevented this from happening? With the hocks, our battle plan was always go, move as much as possible and keep moving to facilitate the fusion. That appeared to have worked, but was ringbone different? Would I need to work her less, and would that even be in her best interests? I was very scared.

I kept riding, and Sofie, having not read the equine medical journals, carried on like she always does. She really only had a couple truly bad days (one time, she was clearly uncomfortable tracking left and could not go straight. It felt like she was compensating in several different ways and corkscrewing her body to avoid weighting certain limbs), and the rest of the time she seemed okay. I treated her with Banamine on a few separate occasions (she won’t eat her bute, but will take Banamine if I give it to her orally) when she seemed sore, and that helped a lot. I also stopped cantering her for about the first week, then gradually added it back in when she seemed better.

In the midst of all this we also were forced to change farriers (something I was not anticipating ever doing), and they also added slow feeders to the mares’ field. All of this added up to a lot of change (and anxiety), but everything seems to have worked out for the best and I am very happy with our situation.

It’s now been over a month since I last gave her any Banamine, and Sofie is doing better than ever. We bought her some magnetic pastern wraps, and they do seem to help her. She gets “magnetic therapy” four days a week, as I apply them when I work in the morning or evening, and before and after every ride. We also got her some sports medicine boots for her hind legs to give her some extra support where she needs it most. She was a little unsure of them when I first put them on, but they really seem to help give her a better “platform” behind when she is working.

We’ve resumed our canter work, and we are also starting to play with leg yield and shoulder-in. Sofie has gotten really good at leg yielding left, and I recently was able to “unlock” her right side and get some good steps of leg yield right. She is very “stuck” on the right in this movement, despite her great progress with right bend and suppleness in general. She used to be very stiff tracking right at the trot, and now it is her best side. She reaches down and moves forward very reliably tracking right, so I am sure the leg yielding will come with time. I’ve been working on shoulder-in at the walk, and it is a great warm-up exercise for her. It really helps with establishing an honest connection.

Sofie is truly amazing me with her willingness and ability in her canter work. The fact that she is now sound more often than not means we can consistently work on the canter, which has greatly increased her comfort level. Before, when I cantered her, it would be every once in a while, and she would display a lot of anxiety behaviors such as rushing into it, fluffing her transitions, kicking out, and going crooked. Outside, she was much better, but in the arena she was never relaxed about it. I believe the increased tension, coupled with a lack of fitness, lead to her being sore afterwards, and then we had to stop cantering until she was better again. But now she is truly coming into her own.

She is now able to canter on the rail, without swinging her haunches in or going crooked. She is 100 % reliable in her canter departs, and consistently lifts into them rather than flattening and running forward. I have been focusing on doing more transitions rather than long intervals, but she will canter on if I ask and as she gets stronger, we will canter for longer distances.

Sofie is becoming very responsive to my aids and her willingness to canter is super. Sometimes when I half halt and pick her up in the trot she will canter just from the half halt! These are always her best canters, and I’m excited to develop more refinement and sensitivity.

She still has trouble with the right lead, but rather than try to drill it and force it, I am going to focus on developing her fitness and increasing her confidence in the canter itself. She is capable of taking the right lead, but right now when I ask she is guarding, and holding tension. I think if I continue to work on the canter and get her more comfortable with it while building up her hind end and focusing on throughness, she will eventually pick up the right lead with no problem. If we can just get rid of the tension, everything else will come. But she needs to be 100 % on the aids for that to happen. It’s getting there!

I am slowly working through her lingering anxiety. Usually somewhere in the middle of a ride, she will start to invert between canter transitions, either out of anticipation or something else, and she will alternate between slowing almost to a crawl and speeding up. Before, I would have no recourse to correct this, other than allowing her forward and rubbing her neck to ease the tension. Now, because she is so much more trusting of the contact and we have built such a dialog, I am able to keep her within the aids without her getting too claustrophobic. I am able to say, No, stay with me, I want you like this. I am able to explain it to her, and slowly, she is getting it.

The last time I rode her, toward the end, she was beginning to speed up, slow down, and come above the hand. I kept her trotting, asking her to move forward, and provided soft resistance with my hands. Gradually she began to stretch down, moving over her back and I could see her start to realize, Oh, I don’t speed up and look for the canter, and I don’t stop. I stay here.

Looking forward to a great year.

Finally, Photos!

These were taken just recently. As you can see, Sofie has been doing very well and I am so happy with her progress. She was actually having a bit of an off day when these were taken and has been a bit sore lately with the sudden dip in temperatures. But I'm confident we will get through this too. She is still sound at the walk, trot and canter, just a little rough around the edges.

Not a real post, but.....

7 consecutive rides with cantering!!

And Sofie is still holding strong. Today her frame, topline and way of going was the best and most consistent it has ever been at the trot. All I did was maintain an elastic connection and let her go forward, and we had real dressage happening! She did temporarily lose her mind when we worked on the canter (she's not fond of cantering in indoor arenas, and I have never practiced it with any consistency), but I just stayed calm and reminded her to stay straight and calm, and she came back to me very well.

Awesome pony!

Cantering Into Winter

We did finally get out to an off-site event this fall. A couple of boarders at the barn graciously allowed Sofie to ride along with their horses to a poker run trail ride at the nearby fairgrounds. She loaded up fine, trailered fine, waited patiently to come out of the trailer, unloaded calmly, and she went right to the grass and ate the whole time. I just tacked her up while she ate, then rode her around a little before the ride started. I rode her out to the neighboring fields just to make sure she wouldn't get herdbound, and she did fine.

The ride was quite fun, and Sofie went right to the lead and led most of the way! She loves to be the leader. I was incredibly glad for our gate practice over the summer, because it sure made it easier to sidepass her over to those buckets to get our poker cards! The poker run was quite short so afterward some of the riders opted to go for a second trail ride. Of course I was part of that group. Sofie wanted to lead again, so I had to school her a little bit and convince her that she could be in the middle, since there was no way to pass safely and I didn't want to be passing everyone anyway. She wasn't bad at all though. So much better, in fact, than many of the other horses at the ride! And the people on the craziest horses were of course not wearing helmets. Morons...

Back at home we have been getting out for as many trail rides as possible before winter comes. The fall colors were fleeting, but it's still beautiful out there. We've been on all our favorite trails, including the river trail. She's been happy to go exploring. Her dressage has been excellent. I will sorely miss having our hills to work her on when winter hits. There's nothing like that feeling when she engages and floats up the slope on her circles.

My mom has been joining us for trail rides lately, riding another boarder's mare, Mica. We had a great ride on a beautiful sunny Saturday and did lots of trotting on the trails. When we got to a good place for cantering, we cantered the horses, and the mares got very competitive. Sofie wanted to race Mica! She was determined to beat her, and when I pulled her up she shook her head, clearly frustrated. "I was winning, damn it!"

After seeing how competitive she was, and knowing how well she is doing, I decided to start cantering her more often. I've cantered her the past four rides in a row, and she's done fabulously. The first couple of times I asked for the canter, she was a little tense in the transition, a bit racey, and she threw her head a bit when I kept her going. She's not used to being asked to canter, simply because I don't do it often enough! But she's caught on quickly, and best of all, she has experienced no soreness. She's really in great shape. She feels good, is happy and shows no signs of slowing down.

Today it was quite brisk, but a beautiful day for riding outside. I rode her on one of the easy trails, trotting almost the whole way. Then on the way back, we turned onto the canter-friendly trail, and I asked for the canter. She did a perfect canter depart! She's certainly capable of great canter work, and she's done it before, but usually her best canter departs are voluntary. This was the best involuntary canter depart she's done in a long time! Her canter was very nice and springy, and she kept going when I asked, with no head flinging or resistance. She's starting to accept some connection when cantering, and I can begin to put her together a little more. We have NEVER had any connection in the canter, so that is very exciting!

Her down transition to the trot was not too jarring, and she was willing to stretch down to the buckle immediately after, none of this running around with her head in the air because OMG WE JUST CANTERED. I patted her a bunch, and we walked back to the barn where she got her usual postride massage and stretches.

She's been a very sound, very happy, snuggly horse lately, and I feel so grateful. I feel like she is actually going to be okay, like we've maybe gotten through the worst and that she will come out of all this on top and stay strong for the long term. Regardless, I'm very happy enjoying my horse in the here and now.