Sofie Learns Dressage

All Or Nothing Winter

2012-01-18T09:16:00.000-08:00

I am in the midst of preparing to submit my novel to literary agents (an arduous and emotional process, at least the way I do it), so I have fallen behind on Sofa updates. She continues to do well, with some very good rides in the recent past. We seem to be stuck in an “all or nothing” winter, consisting of temperatures in the teens with snowstorms that give way to 40 degree weather, snowmelt and distinctly springlike conditions. All this cold, wet, warm, changing weather can be tough on arthritic joints, and she has had a few stiff days. But on the good days, the warm days, Sofie is at her best.

On the last day of 2011, we rode with Cathy and Nakota. It wasn’t overly warm or sunny, but it was clear, the footing was fine and we were both craving a trail ride. I had planned on riding outside that day anyway, but getting to ride with someone was a bonus. We rode over to Cathy’s land, passing through the valley and heading on into the woods. Sofie handled the hills well on the way in and out of the valley and we enjoyed a nice, relaxing ride.

The next week was a little discouraging as Sofie was faintly “not right”. She wasn’t lame and she wasn’t angry or upset, just a little sore. I switched back to riding bareback and was amazed by how much I’d lost my seat in just a couple rides with a saddle. Fortunately I recovered my balance partway into the ride and stopped flopping around on poor Sofie’s back. I kept practicing and improved Sofie’s steering in the halter. We were even able to do nice circles that way. I also kept up on our rein-back, which is coming on well. I did have periodic issues with her getting crooked, but she was also powering backward with a little more energy and not dragging her feet so much. I worked on the crookedness when it showed up, and lately she’s been backing straighter.

Sofie got her feet trimmed on the 7th, which was her worst day in a while. She seemed to be moving fine when I rode her, and I gave her a light workout so she would hopefully be loosened up but not fatigued. Even so, she was a real jerk for Annie. She seemed to have trouble standing on three legs and did a lot of snatching her feet away. She’s never terrific for the farrier, which I think is partly because of her soundness issues and partly just attitude. Still, I was not happy with her. I also began second-guessing how I’ve been managing her this whole time, based on some things I’ve read. I started thinking about the cantering we’ve done, and the hill work, and how I always seem to overwork her through sheer enthusiasm when she’s feeling good. I was feeling pretty bad about it all and wondering, once again, if it was best for her.

Two days later when I showed up it was gorgeous and sunny. A prime day for an outside ride. Sofie seemed happy to get outside, and we hacked over to Cathy’s place. I rode her in the valley, intending to just do some walk and trot work. She was quite energetic but very responsive, coming back to walk from just a seat aid. I did mostly straight lines, with a little bending work here and there. Her head was up but I wasn’t concerned because she was power-trotting through the snow and definitely using herself. Apart from just making sure the basic response to my aids was there, I mostly just rode around the picturesque snowy setting, grinning and enjoying myself.

Sofie, somehow magically recovered from her stiffness, was also enjoying herself, so much so that she burst into a canter without any prompting. In fact, we had four unplanned canters, each one more energetic and wild than the last. The one time I actually asked her for the canter (heading away from home), she accelerated to a Sofa gallop and was practically leaping through the snow. I saw the trees approaching fast, and knowing Sofie’s proclivity for trailblazing, I leaned back on the outside rein hard. Not wanting to stop, Sofie put her head down, pitching me forward, and stomped with her front feet several times. I was thrown up on her neck, but she stopped before I could go any further. The good thing about Sofie is she knows when to stop. After one more (slightly less out of control) canter, we went on a short trail ride and turned back. I did a little walk/trot work in the valley, and when that went well I took a second to admire the scenery. Then we went back to the barn.

I fully expected Sofie to be stiff and ouchy the next time I rode. I figured her craziness would surely have a negative effect. Once again, it was warm out, if not as sunny as the previous time. I tacked her up again, and we headed outside. Sofie was definitely alert, and she seemed every bit as energetic as she had been. I rode her across the driveway to the shorter, flat trail on the barn property, and decided to turn onto the wide, grassy lane where we like to canter. Once there I tested out the trot, and Sofie was definitely “up”. So much so that I didn’t canter her right away. I wanted to establish that she was listening to me before we went racing off. So I rode her down the trail and back, and only then did I ask for the canter.

When Sofie is “on”, the canter depart is an effortless thing. It’s really more of an “allow” than an “ask”. I just let her go up front, and think about sitting and raising my outside heel. It’s a real treat, those rare instances when it just works, effortlessly, and this was one of those times. I thought she might take off, but instead she went into this incredible, perfectly rhythmic collected canter. I haven’t felt her do one this nice in a long time. She never sped up, and she was straight through much of it. She was round, the contact was light and she just felt awesome. She’s always been capable of this, but it doesn’t always happen that way, what with her soundness issues and our general cluelessness. I was so impressed that I didn’t do any more canter work that day. So she got lots of praise and she got to walk back to the barn. I’d done everything I wanted outside, so I figured I’d finish up in the indoor, where the footing was better.

As it worked out, I got to ride at the same time Jesse was working his Friesian stallion, Zen. He hadn’t been ridden with a mare in the arena before, but he was a very good boy. I did my part, and gave him plenty of space at first (easy enough in such a big arena). Sofie, of course, couldn’t care less (although I think she does have eyes for Zen over the other stallions we’ve encountered). Zen is beautiful, and I love watching him, so it was fun to be in the arena with him. Sofie was exceptional, doing pretty much everything right. Her trot work was super nice, she was steadily round, and her transitions were lovely. It was a very productive day. It’s nice to have rides like that. Reaffirming rides.

I have a little more faith in Sofie now, and in my own ability too. There will always be difficulties, but Sofie is doing better than ever. She will have her sore days when the weather fluctuates, and sometimes I will push her a little too hard, but she will recover. The fact that she had one of her best days ever after a wild ride of plunging through the snow is heartening. It shows me I’m not destroying her, as I feared. Her balance is better than it’s ever been, and she’s learning to carry herself and move in the best way possible. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, of course, but I think I’m getting somewhere with her. There is no way of knowing if I should have done things differently. There are never any guarantees. But if I’m lucky, Sofie will be around for a long time, living mostly pain-free and able to move like I know she can.

Back In Tack

2011-12-28T14:40:00.000-08:00

On my latest visit to the barn, excitement (or at least spazziness) was in the bitingly cold air. The previous day had been a sunny 40 degrees, but a front had moved in and snow was blowing through the air with considerable force. Perhaps due to the weather, and also due to the recent arrival of an appealing Friesian stallion (dripping pheromones that even Sofie may have taken a liking to), Sofie was a little jumpy. As we struggled through the wind to the barn door, she looked over and saw a real or imagined Something, and became rather high-headed as a result. Once inside the barn, we walked past Zen, the Friesian stud’s stall. Sofie abhors geldings, and looks upon the Gypsy Vanner stallions at the barn with considerable disdain, but I swear she gave Zen the old once-over. I think Sofa may have a thing for black boys…

After a quick brushing, hoof-picking and leg-stretching, I decided to longe the Sofa. She was still jumpy, and her mind was not all there. Looking at her elevated head with just a halter, and her bare back, I decided “Today is not a just-get-on-and-ride day.”

I took her out in the indoor and let out the longeline, and she began trotting immediately. I walked along with her, keeping the circle large and jogging with her whenever possible, so she could go straight. I quickly overheated, so I stopped her and threw my coat off, then turned her to work on the right side. At first I struggled to get her going, and she merely spun around in a continuous turn on the forehand. Finally I got her to start walking, and she went up to a trot. After trotting her a while, I asked for a canter. She took the left lead, so I pulled her down, made sure she was bending right and asked again. She took the right lead! “Good girl!” I exclaimed. She hasn’t used that right lead in a long time! She picked it up several times, only taking the wrong lead once more. I was thrilled. She kicked up a couple times when she went into the canter, but she didn’t struggle or appear lame, and she tried so hard for me. It gave me renewed hope.

Even after longeing, Sofie was still a bit spazzy, and intuition dictated I should ride with a saddle. So, I tacked up for the first time in a couple weeks and mounted up. She was, of course, dead calm, but I was still glad I’d gone with the saddle and bridle. I’d been wanting to try riding her in tack again anyway to see how she reacted. It already felt different for me, being higher up, off her back.

Her straightness was very good initially, with very little meandering. I did some rail work, but many times I turned her off the rail to practice staying straight. I did lots of changes of direction. As we started trotting she was a little above the bit, which wasn’t surprising considering the weather. I pretty much left her alone, did a little trotting and went back to the walk for a bit. I started bending her, finding it was very easy to do circles. I did some halts, most of which were “Sofa square” (only one leg out of place). Her halts are really improving. I also tested the rein-back. She was a bit crooked and her steps were short, but she didn’t set her jaw at all. Then I trotted her for a shorter distance, asking for a bit of connection and softness. She started listening better and began to melt into her nice, open frame. I trotted her both ways and did some turns, and soon she was accepting a steady, light, definite contact. She even started foaming a little. I was surprised to trot past the mirror and see little bits of foam dripping from her lips.

After riding bareback in a halter for a while, then returning to the saddle and bridle, everything flowed. It was all just so easy. It’s clear my skills have grown since I ditched all my equipment and had to focus on my aids and my seat. With a saddle and bridle, turns and circles became simple. Sofie just powered along, steady in her relaxed, balanced frame. I turned her onto the diagonal, put my hands forward, and she lengthened her frame, moving wonderfully forward. At the corner, I sat up and half-halted, condensing her before the next diagonal, when I turned her loose again.

I did that several times, because it was so awesome, along with the occasional circle. Then I started a serpentine, and she was brilliant. Sick changes of bend, and straightness in between, remaining steady in my hands the whole time. She was at her best, because this horse can turn. She is so handy, and when she’s in balance and truly supple, she handles like a dream. I wound up doing a whole-arena serpentine, just because she was so damn awesome. It felt like she could keep going forever.

After all that, Sofie got lots of pats, and we walked. By that time, she was a bit tuckered out and a little lazy in the walk. I could hardly begrudge her a little tiredness after that trot sequence. After making sure she did not forget my leg was there, and doing our transitions (wheee, there were some pretty ones!) and a little more reinback (straightness is improving) we were done! I hand walked her then untacked and put her cooler on. She got a hay snack, and I re-stretched her legs and gave her a light massage. She seemed to enjoy all that.

I’m not sure if it can be attributed to a recent switch to SmartFlex Senior with Devil’s Claw, work in the halter or a combination of many things, but Sofie seems to be doing very well. I was feeling rather discouraged for a while, but I have hope now. All it takes is a ride like this last one to let her talent shine through, and I have reason to believe if I continue improving her fitness and working on the basics (including bareback and bitless riding, which seems an integral part of the big picture), she just may be (within reason) everything I ever thought she could be.

Happy Christmas

2011-12-25T08:51:00.000-08:00

This time last year, Sofie was colicking. For reasons we will likely never know, her hormones decided to go insane in the dead of winter, causing a strong heat with painful cramping. She was pretty stoic, never fractious, but no vets were around and it was one of the scariest things I’ve had to deal with. We spent Christmas Eve monitoring her, regularly walking down to the barn, standing outside of her stall and watching her belly clench, with a deep line all along it that would fit your arm. On Christmas, we drove to the only place that was open and spent some time at the Christmas buffet. It was pretty much the worst Christmas ever, except we got through it. I realized I could get through it. Sofie’s gut never shut down, her pain never worsened, and she coped. She got through it like only Sofie can, and she lives on to this day.

This year I spent a much more enjoyable Christmas Eve, grooming and riding Sofie. And when I was leading her out to the pasture, it suddenly occurred to me. One year later, here we are.

Bad Indoor Photos, and Good Ride Recaps

2011-12-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

The last couple rides have been quite successful. We’re starting to have our little breakthroughs again, and we can pretty much do everything we were doing before, even with our minimalist approach. Which is all good.

Thursday I changed up my warmup a little, and instead of going right into the trot after walking on a long rein, I picked up the reins and did a little bending work in the walk. Sofie did well with this, and was listening to my hand and bending nicely. This led to a fifteen minute walk warmup. After getting a nice circle in both directions we started trotting. In a slight reversal she was better to the left, at least when bending was concerned. It was hard to keep a consistent bend at first, which is typical for us now. I just worked a little on bending in between straight line work, rail work and transitions. Sofie did well throughout.

Toward the end of the ride I worked on rein-back, something I’m hoping will help strengthen Sofie’s hind end. I’ve never been able to give the “proper” aids for rein-back - using leg as well as a slightly restraining hand - because Sofie would always think “forward” and just blow through my hand if I ever touched her. Recently she’s begun to understand me better, and I’ve been able to cluck to her and have her still go backwards. So as I was asking her to step back with the usual aids - hand and a little seat - I decided to experiment and lightly closed my legs. She rocked forward a little, so I closed my hand again, keeping my leg on, and she went backward! Even better, she seemed to get rounder and use herself more. I praised her, and soon I tried it again. While she did step forward once, each time she listened quite well and I was able to get a very nice, correct rein-back. Using my legs, I could put a little more energy into her backward steps and get her to lift her belly a bit. She was much rounder in front and gave me a very nice feeling. I was super pleased.

Near the end she was much more connected, and she did some very nice, light turns with no issues at all. It was a great feeling.

Saturday (aka Christmas Eve) I found that Vicky had left us a little gift bag of sugary treats for me and Sofie! Sofie’s treats were quickly re-gifted (Sofie doesn‘t do sugar. I, on the other hand, have been mainlining it this holiday season). I did give her a hay snack, though. I’m not that mean. I forgot my watch this time around, so I wasn’t able to monitor how long I rode or how long I warmed her up (note to self: Do not forget watch in future. Watch is very, very helpful!). She was a bit of a grump for whatever reason (although she still did everything I asked with no real protestation, so clearly it wasn’t all that bad). When I first started trotting she was kind of rushing and she was rather stiff. I think maybe my warmup that day was inadequate. She also has no opportunity to run around outside, because the ground is all icy and it’s been that way for the last week, at least.

After the icky warmup portion, the rest of the ride went well. The only slight issues we had were occasional drifting in (which was easily fixed) and some wobbliness when we were supposed to be going straight. The usual suspects. Our transitions were all of nice quality, with only a little bit of a slow response time in one direction. Circles were a bit wonky, but she did do two nice ones for me, which is really all I need. Later in the ride, she was really solidly establishing contact, moving along in a good rhythm. I practiced lengthening and shortening the reins in trot, which she did awesome with, staying really steady. I did some more rein-back work, and discovered that when I do it off the rail, she gets crooked. She likes to swing her haunches left, probably compensating for something. I was able to correct it, and while it took a bit of stopping, repositioning and starting, I was able to get several straight steps from her each time. She should get stronger if I keep up on it.

I finished up with a nice sequence. First I trotted her down the rail on a light rein. Then in the corner I turned her across the diagonal, mostly taking my aids off. She stayed nicely straight, and when we turned the corner I asked her to walk. She made a nice, prompt transition without sticking her head up in the air. Yay! Good girl!

So, my immediate plan is:

-Remember watch (‘cause it’s helpful to see how long I ride, and how long I spend on each part of the ride)

-Do longer warmups

-Do massage/stretching whenever possible

-Perfect the rein-back

-Improve straightness and self-carriage

-Lots of connected transitions

-Don’t forget walk work

-And most importantly, remember to think. Remember to learn. True success, really, is to be kind, and never deviate from that kindness, no matter what happens.

I think Sofie will teach me that this winter.

These are from the icky warmup portion, and the quality is quite poor. But here it is, photographic evidence of our mad bareback-and-bitless skills!

Yes, I may have enjoyed playing with "black and white effects" on my computer.

Bareback & Bitless

2011-12-22T09:55:00.000-08:00

We’ve been confined to the indoor arena since winter started, and boredom was starting to settle in. Turns out, even a huge, well-maintained indoor with mirrors is still just an indoor. Bleh.

With nowhere to go and not much to do after determining that Sofie, for whatever reason, was not physically okay with cantering, I started to notice some disturbing trends in my riding. I was getting too easily frustrated, too critical. I was getting sucked into the “gotta-be-perfect” dressage mindset that surrounds me at this barn. I regularly ride at the same time as an FEI-seeking rider who expects a lot of their horse, and it’s hard not to be influenced by that. It’s something I will need to continually work on, I think. My corrections were occasionally overreactions, and while I was okay much of the time, I’d have pissy moments and later regret it.

I decided it was time to change it up. I’ve been riding bareback on and off, and I noticed I was always more obnoxious when I rode with a saddle. Without one, I was more easily pleased. It really brought everything down to a simple partnership.

I'd been wanting to try riding Sofie in a halter again, something I hadn't done in a very long time. One day when I brought her in, nobody was riding, and I decided it was time to test her out in just a halter. I had avoided doing it with other people in the ring, just in case the steering went out. So I "tacked her up", which involved merely tightening the halter by one hole, fastening reins to the noseband and putting on my helmet. I left on my snowboots and my blue fuzzy gloves, completing the rednecky ensemble.

Slightly nervous, I mounted up and immediately asked the question "Do we have brakes?" Yup, brakes were there, just as much as usual in fact. Comforted, I let Sofie warm up as usual, working in some turns and changes of direction. Steering was a little wonky, but not too bad. We went up to a trot, and she transitioned right back down without a problem! I think it's helpful that I use a lot of seat in my down transitions, because I've never had a problem going bitless. We finished up the ride just fine, and I was quite pleased at our stripped-down approach to dressage.

I've left the saddle and bridle behind since then, and we've had a couple more good rides. One thing about not saddling up - it saves a ton of time. I could get used to not messing with girth straps, sliders and keepers! I've always wanted to be better at bareback riding, and now that I've finally gotten comfortable enough to do it I hope to continue practicing this winter. I of course don't have a classic dressage position when riding bareback, but it's got to be good for balance and such. As far as bitless goes, I've never been against using a bitted bridle, provided the horse was comfortable with it. However, I think it is good to practice riding with fewer artificial aids sometimes. I may return to using a bit at some point, if I want a little more flexibility with my rein aids. A nylon halter doesn't allow for too much subtlety, and it's sometimes tough to get flexion. An actual bitless bridle might work better, but I don't feel the need to upgrade at this point.

As far as "frame" goes, Sofie maintains a pretty nice, natural frame, even without contact on the reins. She doesn't tend to really hollow out too much, except if something makes her nervous or I sit too heavily in a transition (can't blame her for that one). It is possible to "put her together" a little more in just the halter, and she will stretch into the contact, but she does get a little heavy at times. I tend to alternate between self-carriage work, where I let the reins get floaty and just follow her movement along unless I really need to do a correction, and more "precise" (with air quotes) "dressage-type" work where I attempt to get an actual connection and do circles, leg-yield, rein-back and connected transitions, etc. She does rein-back well in just a halter (actually, that's how she learned it), and while circles can be reeeeally tricky (I often feel like we're fishtailing a little bit, just because of the limited steering capabilities of the halter), we can actually manage some nice, connected transitions in the halter just the same as with a bit.

It's interesting, also, to feel the crookedness in her that I always felt when using a bitted bridle. Sofie has always been "hard" on her right side, and she often needs to be "held" more on the right rein, especially when tracking left. I always assumed it was "deadness" in her actual mouth, but she feels just the same in a halter, so it has to be more of a body issue than just a mouth issue.

Anyway, while I'm going to be working toward hopefully being able to do our nice, vaguely-respectable-looking dressagey type work bitless and bareback, it should still be beneficial as a change-up, and helpful for my seat and fitness. Last time I managed a full hour ride, which is a first!

And it just makes me happy when I set my hands down and she goes trotting down the long side in her relaxed, Sofa-round way with floaty reins and I just post along with her trot even as it quickens, because I'm not afraid anymore.

Three Things

2011-12-14T09:33:00.000-08:00

Sofie has a new blanket.

Sofie no longer has a boyfriend. Her relationship with Dillon was short-lived. Dillon, a big, goofy, dumb Quarter Horse gelding, was in love with Sofie. He followed her around, trying desperately to get her to play. He just wanted to play! Sofie doesn’t like to play. She just likes to eat. So her ears were permanently back, and her expression was quite ugly indeed. When he provoked her enough, she’d lunge at him with her teeth out, then go back to simmering and glaring by the hay pile. Dillon would stare at her, clearly perplexed. How could she not like me? Within a few days, she started kicking his ass, and Vicky wisely separated them before Dillon could get himself hurt through pure stupidity. Poor Dillon. Sofie lived alone for a little while then went back out with the mares, and she seems to have gotten over her little wood-chewing phase.

She's clearly not up to cantering under weight right now, so I'm focusing on other stuff for now. Last time I rode bareback and she was very good. We make quite the sight, bopping along next to the 17-hand Fourth Level mare and her rider. :)

Why So Serious?

2011-12-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

November was weird. For a while there, I wasn’t having any fun. Everything seemed dire. Just after getting the walk and trot really nice, I tried a canter and we started dealing with tension issues and renewed soreness in Sofie’s left shoulder. There were also incidents, like the day barn employees decided to burn brush piles near the mare field, causing thick smoke in the middle of Sofie‘s living space, that caused me to obsessively worry and not think very clearly.

For several rides in a row, I got bitchy. I picked at Sofie’s inadequacies, and I was rather unkind to her, and unfair. I couldn’t stop myself from picking and complaining, and I felt really badly about it after that fact but then I’d go and do it again. It got bad enough that I considered giving her to someone who might be kinder to her.

At around the same time, we were also dealing with a minor Sofie health crisis. It was a typical Sofa malady, non-dramatic, apparently non-life-threatening, yet somewhat perplexing and worrying. It started the day Annie came out to trim Sofie. The trim went great, and Sofie was very cooperative. As I was holding her I noticed a lump on her neck. I figured it was another kick wound, but then I started finding more. They were small, firm lumps, maybe five of them in all, running down her neck and on her chest. Then my mom noticed Sofie’s face was a bit swollen, right underneath the side pieces of her halter. She had also developed a minor cough the previous day (for Sofie, a minor cough means like one cough during the two or three hours I spend with her on any given day).

We took her temp, which was normal. She was eating and drinking fine, but her eye was dull and she was a bit lethargic. With no major signs that she needed veterinary attention, we asked people to keep an eye on her and left.

The next day, I went out early to check on her. We were both worried, since that facial swelling could’ve interfered with her breathing if it had worsened dramatically. But when I went out to fetch her from the field her face was back to normal, and the lumps on her neck were all gone except for one, and even it had softened to almost nothing. Relieved, I brought her in, planning on just to playing with her a bit. I was massaging her hind end like I typically do when I felt some swelling on her upper hind legs. When I checked, her udder was swollen too, and she also had some edema on her belly. I of course had a minor freakout, then talked to a knowledgeable barn worker (and boarder). She thought that exercise would help the swelling go down, so I hand-walked Sofie in the arena while I called up various vets. Our local vets were both out of town (of course) so I called up the office of another vet we occasionally use (Chiro Lady). Chiro Lady was off that day, but I spoke with another equine vet, Dr. Way. She was super nice and very helpful, hearing me out. She agreed that it was likely an allergic reaction, and said it seemed to be moving through her system normally from the sound of it. We talked about potential causes, and although it had been a week since the brush-burning day and you’d think she would’ve had a reaction sooner, she said not always. She agreed that it could have also been something in the hay, since I hadn’t used any new products on Sofie to bring on such a reaction. Feeling much better, I thanked Dr. Way and got off the phone. I walked and jogged Sofie some more, took her temp again (still normal), gave her an apple and put her back out.

When I next checked on the magical traveling swelling, it was still in the same places, and about the same if not slightly reduced. Her eye was brighter also. After our ride the edema went way down, and it appears her little allergic reaction has run its course with no ill effects on Sofa.

In other (quite possibly related) news, Sofie got herself kicked out of the mare field. They recently added new panels on the run-in shed to make it more enclosed, and Sofie decided to start chewing on the brand new, treated (TREATED) wood. I heard this all secondhand, from Cathy while I was still dealing with the allergic reaction. And I went AHA, THIS must be the source of the allergic reaction!

And then I thought, SOFIE, YOU IDIOT.

I was worried sick about my dumb horse, and then I find out she brought this all on herself! By chewing on treated (TREATED) wood. That stuff has all kinds of noxious chemicals in it, and she decided to EAT it? Ugh. What a moron.

Then a few days ago I went out to the barn, and found Sofie not in with the mares, but in the smaller dirt paddock right out behind the barn with Dillon, Vicky’s show QH gelding. So I went hmm, why is Sofie in with Dillon? I thought maybe someone just forgot to put her out with the mares after she had her breakfast (sometimes they put her in that paddock to get her supplements because it’s empty at night and it’s more convenient that way).

Nope. Apparently Sofie was chewing wood excessively, and wouldn’t stop, so they had to put her in with Dillon, who has an old, regular three-sided run-in with no new, yummy panels. And she’ll have to stay there until the grass comes in, at which time they will attempt to let her be with her friends again.

At first I was upset about this, too. I was happy with her living situation. She had friends, she was happy, she had a big field to be in and a long walk to the water from the shed. Sofie doesn’t like geldings, and I don’t like that paddock. It gets really muddy sometimes, and it’s not as big as I’d like and it’s just kind of…bleh.

But I think it’s going to be okay. On the way home from the barn that day, my worrying kind of reached critical mass, and I was tired of it. So I went home, and I pretty much assumed Sofie would be fine.

So far, so good. We had a nice ride in the newly-dragged indoor the other day. Our straightness wasn’t too horrible, and she was willing, not crabby. She started out a little high-headed, but I just left her alone and she soon started reaching down.

I think I really needed to just chill and not take everything so seriously. If it’s not fun anymore, there’s something wrong. I hope not to get into that place again, but I know I probably will. I just hope I’ll remember what I’ve learned.

Yes, Sofie has limitations, and that can be frustrating. But we also have a history, and I enjoy having a horse I can just do whatever with. I can ride bareback. I can ride her down the road, cross the highway and go exploring. I can drop her lead rope, and she’ll stand wherever I put her while I close a gate, find my glove that I dropped or change clothes. I can do stupid things like crouch by her legs when I groom her, or squeeze in between her and the wall, because I know her and I trust her by now. And that matters to me.

Start Of Winter Rides

2011-11-21T08:29:00.000-08:00

The winter has been mild so far, with cold temperatures but little snow. I’ve been riding mostly in the indoor, but I did get out on one clear, cold, slightly blustery day. Sofie was a little silly and spooky on the trail, but we wandered around the valley and the surrounding area. I did a little dressage work in the valley, which went nicely, and once again I had her canter for a short distance. I also stayed on her back when we rode down the hill to the valley, and she managed. By the end of the ride I felt that I’d tested her and definitely stretched her, but not to the point of overkill. I wanted to give her a definite workout that day as I didn’t anticipate getting out again for three days.

The weather turned out not to be hideous that week, so after giving her the customary day off I enlisted my dad to take me out there again. I had been on the fence about going, but I was glad I did. It was a cold day, but I felt happy being at the barn and when I walked out into the field to catch her she looked up and started walking up to me. We met halfway and she was very sweet, sniffing my hands and definitely warming the atmosphere. I don’t know if she just wanted to go in the barn for a while, but it was still very touching.

I needed to be efficient with my time that day, so I did a quick grooming and made it a bareback ride. I feel very comfortable on her bareback by now, and we did our usual walk-trot work without a problem, occupying the indoor with the 17-hand Fourth Level horse and looking very scruffy and lighthearted in comparison. I only had time for a half hour ride, but Sofie did everything I asked and remained pretty agreeable, only showing a little reluctance when cued to trot. I’ve learned how to post bareback, which is helpful, but my butt bones landing on her spine will probably never make her react with glee. It was a productive ride, at least enough to get her creaky self moving, and I enjoyed seeing her that day.

She had two days off before our next ride. The day was nice enough that I would’ve ridden outside, but burning brush piles were making the air smoky and I didn’t particularly want either of us breathing that in. So, back to the indoor it was. I saddled her this time, wanting to have more freedom with speed and the ride’s duration. I did ride without stirrups for almost the whole hour, though, and I felt quite balanced (and not fatigued).

The ride started out quite well. She stayed on the rail nicely without needing too many reminders, and she was far better tracking left, not trying to dive off the rail. Our straightness was good (for us) and when I practiced picking up the reins she stayed steadier. At the start of trot work, she was a little inverted (better tracking left, worse on the right) and she wasn’t paying attention in the down transitions (and was definitely inverting during them). I did some fairly rapid walk-trot-walk transitions, and tried to keep her connected, and she improved. We had some nice transitions, and she was rounder in the trot.

Once I got her all warmed up and going nicely, I decided to test the canter. I knew it would ruin what we had, but I was curious to see if she would pick it up in the indoor (and if it affected her soundness). So I rode her a bit more forward and asked for the canter. She did an almost-depart, so I praised her and tried again. On the third try, she picked up the canter and kept going for several strides before breaking to the trot. I was satisfied with that effort, so I began attempting to relax her again. She settled down pretty well right after she came back to the trot, but for a while afterward she intermittently inverted, rushed and became defensive. I had trouble settling her and getting her to really relax. She would come round and then start anticipating the canter and throw her head up. Her back would be stiff as a board, too. It was frustrating, and I did get a little grabby with my hands a couple times (and grumble to her also). I’m not entirely happy with how I reacted, but I wasn’t too unkind to her and I did eventually get her settled. It’s annoying when she gets so tense and anticipates like that, but it’s just something we need to work on and we will probably get past it in time. Next time I will not succumb to frustration, and I’ll try to remember to relax her by patting her neck.

As I wrapped up the ride, Sofie gradually regained her relaxation and roundness. She did have some crabby, defensive moments, particularly through this one corner, tracking left. It’s possible that her shoulder was a little ouchy at that point. I don’t know if she’s ready to canter at this point, but that’s why we test these things out. I will have to see how she is next time, and we may stick to walk-trot work for a while longer. I’m definitely encouraged by how we started and ended the ride, though. I finished up with some nice transitions and halts. She was reaching nicely into my hand, and she trotted through the “crabby places” without a fuss.

Winter Wonderland Trail Ride

2011-11-14T09:11:00.000-08:00

I have fallen behind on updates, mainly due to recently finishing up my novel (328 pages and three years later, it is done!), a huge accomplishment for me that will hopefully lead to very good things. With nothing too exciting happening in Sofieland, I focused my writing time on wrapping up that extensive project.

Winter has commenced here, and we’re holding up well. I was out at the barn on the day of the first snow storm, a truly nasty weather event. En route to the barn we began to see snow-covered vehicles and over the next hour the sleet snow fell harder and harder. Knowing we needed to get back on the road ASAP in order to hopefully make it home, I made it quick. Happily, Sofie was snug and happy in the back of the run-in shed, sharing a section of it with her buddy Nakota, who protected her from drafts. She seemed happy to see me but hated walking through the sleet, pinning her ears and tucking her head into her chest as it hit her in the face. We hurried to the barn.

Once there, I quickly threw on her cooler, picked out her feet and bridled her. I then went for a half-hour bareback ride in the indoor, just enough to get her moving. My bareback capabilities have definitely improved, and I was able to do my typical walk/trot work and feel quite secure. The only other souls at the barn that day were a rider with a horse at Fourth Level and her trainer who are preparing for a Steffen Peters symposium, which somewhat underscored our dedication to our pony.

Sofie has been a little off lately, somewhat stiff and maybe a little sore. No head-bobbing, real resistance or serious short-striding, so we’ve just kept bobbling along. It appears to be a left shoulder issue, which is unsurprising given her recent hematoma. When I stretched her front legs recently she had less range of motion on the left. Also, when I ride her she has been bending and going round better to the right. Tracking left, she wants to fall in off the rail and has a harder time relaxing and stretching. She seems to be doing better lately.

A few days after the snowstorm, it was beautiful, sunny and in the mid-fifties. There was a few inches of snow on the ground at the barn, making everything very pretty. We were fortunate enough to be able to ride with Cathy and Nakota and I looked forward to a pleasant ride. We started out in the indoor, and I slowly warmed up Sofie while Nakota moved around quite energetically. Sofie was still a bit off but she was willing and reasonably forward. After just a bit of trot work we ended with a nice, connected transition, and then we headed for the trails.

I took a moment to test our straightness in the fresh snow (confirming that yes, we do not have straightness), after which Cathy caught up to us and we rode over to her property. We were sure to encounter broken branches and keeled-over trees, which did not concern me at all since Sofie loves to bulldoze her way through trees. We soon came to a down branch on the trail. Psssh. We walked right through the thing.

I only had to dismount on the hill down into the valley. Sofie seemed to handle it fine when my additional weight was out of the saddle, and I remounted and we carried on. The valley was gorgeous as usual, but we had plans to check out a new trail, recently finished by Cathy’s husband, who is responsible for our awesome trails.

At the start of the new trail we passed a huge, lovely maple and continued on into the woods. The trail rose up and we rode along the slightly rolling terrain, looking all around at the surrounding forested peaks and valleys. It was really stunning, the perfect spot for such a trail. I absolutely loved it from the start. I was especially happy that there were no steep hills, and Sofie seemed happy too, given the many little trees that had bowed under the weight of the snow and were just waiting for her to walk through. We dislodged a lot of the trees, which popped right up, fortunately not striking Cathy or her horse (Sofie walks fast, so Nakota usually trails behind a bit).

At the end of the trail, with no leaves on the trees, Lake Superior is visible on the horizon. We took that sight in then backtracked to check out another new trail loop. Foiled by trees that were a little bigger than I wanted Sofie crashing through (though she undoubtedly would’ve done it anyway), we turned around and began to head home. In the valley, I could not resist doing a little dashing through the snow, and Cathy was not in a rush to end the ride so I trotted around for a bit. Sofie’s balance was decent, but I didn’t worry about doing any training. I just wanted to ride and enjoy myself. Trotting through a nice stretch of openness, I encouraged Sofie to pick up a canter, and she did. We enjoyed a lovely canter through the snow, and then, satisfied with the fun we’d had, we finished walking home. Once there, Sofie got an apple (definitely her favorite part of the day) and went back outside to enjoy the rest of the sunny weather. I’m so glad we got another trail ride in! It’s wonderful to get out there and ride, especially with friends.

Proof of Progress

2011-10-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

I feel as though we have really progressed in the last couple of months. We’ve found our way to something that resembles actual, correct, beneficial dressage, and we have been reliably achieving our new standard of work in different places and situations. Sofie’s soundness is holding up to walk/trot work and moderate trail rides, and she seems comfortable going round. She appears to be finding a new balance and is reverting less and less to her old, inverted posture.

We had one indoor ride last week. Sofie started out dead-sided and unresponsive, and I actually had to kick her a few times, which I do not like doing. I’ve ridden way too many insensitive horses in my life, and I never want her to end up that way. She was also being a bit obnoxious and falling in off the rail despite reminders. So I grabbed a whip for the first time in a while. Predictably, a few taps started her racing around the arena, and I had to drop it after just a few minutes. With Sofie paying attention, I worked on getting us both settled and getting myself in a better mood. After the icky warm-up phase, the rest of the ride was actually very good. Once we got over our issues, Sofie flowed around a big circle, soft and light in her balance, and stayed round, moving down the rail in a nice rhythmic trot. Transition work went fine, and I experimented with shortening her stride and putting her together a bit more. Pretty much everything we worked on was a success, and we finished up much happier.

We’ve gotten back out on the trail since then, going solo one day and with Cathy and Nakota last weekend. Going down hills is still not Sofie’s favorite, but in order to expand our trail possibilities I’ve had her go down a few of them. If she seems to be having trouble I get off and lead, which seems to help. I revisited The Shelf, coaxing Sofie down the long, gradual hill only to find out that The Shelf is even more terrifying without leaves on the trees! Like, wow, I can see alllll the way down now… I just clutched her sides with my legs and went into a slight fetal position while she walked on, unimpressed by the steep dropoff, going “Jeez, YOU wanted to come here!”
On our way home, we went through the valley and I tested out our dressage work there. It was marvelous. She was SO good.

I rode twice on the weekend. On Saturday Cathy and I went for a short trail ride around the property before a barn Halloween party (a full report will be forthcoming in another post!). The weather was lovely, and we had a nice, easy ride. Back in the yard, I did a short dressage session. Sofie was a bit distracted, and not quite listening to my downward transitional aids, but not bad. After going through our little repertoire I took her inside to get her ready for the costume contest/horse parade.

Sunday Cathy and I rode again. It was a cold, bitterly windy day, but I had a video shoot planned so I wanted to get out on the trail (her dressage is always better after a trail ride). So, out into the wind we went. Sofie was nice and calm until she saw Something (most likely a chipmunk, OMG) in the bushes and threw down a fairly dramatic Sofa spook. From then on, she was nervous, especially when we began to hear Cathy’s husband on his lawnmower. Unbothered, I made us forge ahead, and Sofie went on, head high and eyes big. She walked super fast the whole entire way through the woods. Occasionally I’d stop her so Cathy could catch up on her non-freaking-out horse, and Sofie would toss her head and back up before surging on. We had a few moments where calmness started to come back, but mostly we were a bit nutty. I think it was the residual effect of the party, myself…
Heading out of the woods, we were walk-charging along when all of a sudden Sofie’s head flew up and she took off trotting down the trail! Hmm, I thought as I grabbed a rein and began pulling her down. I do not know what she saw, heard or imagined, but it was surely terrifying enough to provoke a Sofa bolt. According to Cathy, she also jumped, too, but I was unaware of any sensation of real altitude, so it must have been a Sofa jump at any rate.
Once we got out of the woods and on the trail home, she finally relaxed and walked at a normal speed with her head down. Back at the barn, Cathy went inside like a smart person, and I, freezing and seriously doubting my ability to get Sofie round and decent-looking on that particular day, headed out to the field I’d chosen for the video shoot. “I’m gonna go….try to make dressage happen!” I chirped to Cathy before we parted ways.

I had no expectations. I had a feeling we were going to get some real mediocrity on camera, but I rode her out to the field (immediately sending her into the trot because I was freaking freezing and needed to warm up). I did a little trot work out there, trying to see what we had. She was a little hard mouthed and stiff and a little too fast, but she was much better than I thought she would be. The shoot began, and I went back and forth, trotting straight and bending lines, walking, backing, free walking, giving the reins forward, stretchy trotting and halting.
I rode for what I thought was a few minutes, and Sofie started to get dull and I could tell she was getting ouchy, so I ended things and walked over to my dad. “How long did it end up being?” I asked cheerfully.
Turns out, nearly seven minutes!! Uh, not gonna work. I started to get upset, as I had really screwed up. I needed no more than five minutes of footage, and there was no way to edit it down because in this particular instance, I needed a disc with one continuous clip on it that was the correct length. I reviewed the footage, and quickly found that Sofie didn’t fill the frame enough. There were also some stumbles and missteps (I’d felt them while riding). As much as I hated to do it, since the footage I saw looked quite decent, I told my dad to delete it and we’d start over. I was not optimistic that we’d be able to get anything good on camera, especially now that I’d used up seven minutes and I knew Sofie was getting tired. But we had to try again.

The second attempt was quickly scrapped when Sofie had a crabby moment. She was getting a little tired of going around in a dressage-y way, and I was sure her hocks were a little sore from all the rushing and being tense and jumping on them. So I started the third take, and just tried to ride lightly and keep her going.
Being filmed is a little bit different than regular schooling, especially with no room for editing. I was conscious of the camera, and I tried to keep everything steady and nice, with no tripping or bobbling. And Sofie was a little tired and a little clunky-feeling at times, but she stayed round almost the whole time and did everything I asked without resistance or mistakes. She didn’t refuse to back up, she didn’t hollow too much in her transitions. She didn’t trip over anything. I wasn’t sure how it would look, since she felt a little jerky to me, not her smoothest, not at her best. But I knew it was a decent try, and I was proud of us for being able to do that.

Not the brightest or the best at keeping track of time, I nearly rode overtime again. Fortunately, my dad ceased filming at four and a half minutes (after his nifty little hand signals at the two and three minute mark just went right over my head). I dismounted, and took a moment to look at the footage, even though it was pretty much the best we were gonna get. And it was quite nice. Sofie was moving well, tracking up nicely and she was quite round. Her free walk looked great, and her trot work looked relaxed and fluid. She didn’t show any trace of soreness, which was great to see. It looked way better than it felt, and I was very happy because it was a good representation of how we’ve been doing recently. She’s such a different horse now. I am very proud of both of us.

Three Solid Rides, and a Lumpy Sofa

2011-10-22T06:05:00.000-07:00

This week the weather has been overtly cold, windy and rainy, which makes life at the barn somewhat more frigid. I seem to be refusing to adjust to the seasonal change, and am still insisting on wearing my summer (i.e. THIN) riding pants and my little clogs, though I have conceded to wearing turtlenecks and occasionally a winter coat. Apparently my top half can adjust, but my lower half is stuck in summer?

The barn in tolerable, once you adjust to the walk-in freezer effect. Going out to fetch my pony can be rather miserable, depending on the wind velocity/direction. One day when walking Sofie in, the wind was in our faces, blowing me around so I couldn't walk a straight line and throwing snow/sleet/rain at us! Sofa tucked her face into her chest (rollkur!) and glared out at the weather as I hurried her along.

We were pretty much stuck in the indoor this week, as it was either too cold/windy/rainy to make venturing out a profitable experience. Of course, now that we have a gynormous indoor with good footing and mirrors, that is not such a bad thing. However, I still prefer outside. I will ALWAYS prefer outside.

On Sunday, Cathy (who doesn't spell her name with a K, I finally figured out) showed up just as we were getting ready to start, and she joined us in the ring with her mare a little later on. We warmed up along the outside track, doing our usual corrections and being stiff and creaky at first. She wasn't too bad, though, considering the cold. Starting to trot, I think she was a little reluctant in the first transition, but she was soon trotting around nicely, only bobbling occasionally. She was staying reasonably straight and was pretty round, with occasional lapses. All in all, pretty much a steady, decent ride!

Tuesday was annoying varied, weather-wise, with cold rain and sun mixed. I attempted to ride outside at the beginning, but was thwarted by rain. So we went back in, and had another good, productive ride. Other than the usual straightness reminders, and slight stiffness/bobbling, she did really well. She was round at the trot, bending both ways and just going along nicely. She did not want to back up at first, but got lighter after a few repetitions. During the ride, I noticed that she was not staying round in all her transitions, so I decided to try and fix that. She stayed nicely round at the trot, and was steady in her walk-trot transitions, but in her trot-walk transitions she momentarily raised her head. So, I put her on a slightly long rein, and tried to use light aids and do gradual, soft transitions. And after a few tries she got it, and we did many nice transitions in a steady, strechy frame! Good girl! I got off after that was accomplished, and we went outside to try and make the most of a brief sunny spell. I went on a short (very short) hack before turning around when it looked like it was going to rain. But it didn't rain, so we did a little work on the flat, grassy area. Sofie was forward (yay outside!) and nicely round, stretching to the bit. We went successfully through the Bad Corner, and did some nice turns. She was so supple and bendy! We ended with a successful straightness test (trotting her away from the barn, I took all my aids off and she didn't waver! Yay!).

Thursday we did not venture out, but we made the most of our indoor ride. It was definitely a solid ride throughout. She would occasionally fall in off the rail, but not too badly. She is maintaining her straightness for longer periods of time, so my corrections appear to be working. I try to “correct and release” rather than “hold”, which is not a great trap to fall into. I want to preserve her lightness and forward initiative!

Her trot work was nice, and she was able to pretty much just go around the rail at a nice, soft tempo, nicely, consistently round. When she occasionally pops above the bit I can now half halt and get her to soften while tracking straight. Before I would have to turn or circle to get her round. She is way more trusting of my hands. With a little bit of vibration on the reins, she goes back to being round. Very cool.

We were working around an upper-level horse and rider who were in a lesson, so I made sure to stay out of their way as we went along in a vaguely dressage-y way. This meant an occasional unbalanced turn (emphasis on “get the hell out of the way!” rather than “make sure our shoulders are aligned”), but no big deal. We did some transitions, but mostly steady trot work. Turns were successful both ways, and our straightness was decent, with only occasional drifting or wobbling. Eventually I tried circles both ways. I made them smaller than usual to test our bend and balance, and they worked out quite well! She listened to my little steering adjustments, and according to my mom who was watching at that point, Sofa looked round and expressive! Really, my little arthritic paint mare, expressive?! How nice!

In addition I did a few rein-backs (heavy and resistant at first, but subsequent improvement) and I worked a little on turn on the forehand. She did very well with that, very stationary in front, still a little quick and spinny with the turns but I don’t really mind that. Nearly done, I tried some halts on the rail. She was nice and balanced in the walk, and her halts were all "Sofa square" (square in front with only one hind leg back). Then we actually got a legit square halt! I was amazed. I got off to reward that, dismounting on the off side since we were too close to the wall for me to swing off on the "correct" side. I managed to dismount without a problem, despite having no muscle memory for dismounting on the "wrong" side. And with that, we were done! It was the best, most "trained-feeling" ride we've had in a while. I just felt like she was actually trained! How novel, I know right?

Then on Saturday, I brought her in and noticed this:

"What happened here?!"

Yes, I discovered a soft, puffy place on the point of her shoulder, which is draining down into her chest. Another hematoma, Sofie? I have no idea how she gets herself into such trouble. She is not an aggressive or alpha mare. I mean, she's Sofie! How she gets herself beat up is beyond me...how can you not love that face?! She must've mouthed off to the wrong mare...

Her last hematoma was late winter/early spring, and it wound up being a rather large, very firm mass between her front legs. It took at least six weeks to go away, disappearing, coincidentally, right when the vet came out to lance and drain it ("No one's going to stick a big needle in me!"). So this time when I found her lovely lumps, I just casually remarked "My horse is lumpy" and kinda shrugged. She has gotten so many cuts, abrasions, lumps and various little, non-dramatic injuries that I have become incredibly blase when they show up. She runs through things, she gets sore and cranky sometimes...and she's still okay.

We did go for a ride (with my friend and her matching, Sofa-colored gelding!) and finally, we had outside riding weather! Sofa was stiff, so we went on the trail to loosen her up. I was enjoying just trail riding, so we went on, first on flat ground and then, for a change of pace, we went down into Cathy's land. I deftly found us a nice steep hill to go down (my friend was less than thrilled, especially when I told her, after the fact, that I in fact had never been down that particular hill before) but I got off and led Sofa down it and one other hill. She seemed to handle the terrain fine, and we kept it relatively easy, walking much of the time. I think we all enjoyed getting out. I did trot her a little bit in the valley and the front yard area, just to test things, and she was good. She was a bit stiff, and not as into bending, and at the end of the ride she was kind of dull and resistant, but nothing bad. I didn't worry about it, and chose to just work her lightly at the trot for a few minutes. I figure getting nailed in the shoulder might account for her slighty reluctance! We'll see how she is tomorrow.

Plans for Now and Later

2011-10-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

I’m happy to report that Sofie is feeling better, and her soreness seems to be manageable at this point. She warms up a little cranky, but with light aids and encouragement she is able to work out of it. I’m optimistic that we will be able to keep riding through fall without interruptions, and I came up with a plan to preserve her soundness and keep her going through this ouchy phase.

Going forward, the new plan is:

-No hills (slightly uneven ground is fine, as are teeny tiny slopes. Perfect flat ground is not important, just no major hills until she’s no longer sore)

-No cantering (until she offers it without getting angry/defensive/upset!)

-Limit circles, more straight line work (some turns are fine - and necessary - but no excessive bending!)

-Lots of rewards! I will be super nice, kind and encouraging. I will be respectful of the effort she makes even when she’s not at her best. It really makes a difference.

Last Sunday I rode with Kathy, my main riding friend at this barn. We started out in the indoor for a few minutes as Kathy finished up her canter work, and Sofie was moving fairly okay but was defensive when asked for the trot. I just did a few transitions, and trots on long straight lines. Sofie wasn’t really round but she wasn’t too inverted, and I felt she was “Sofa round” and doing a pretty good job considering the insubstantial warm-up. I did trot one big circle, just to find the balance and connection, and then Kathy was ready to go so we headed out. The ride was nice, and she seemed to enjoy herself pretty well. I did have to get off and lead on one downhill that was steeper than I thought. She was definitely not comfortable on the hills, but the ride was pretty low-impact. On the way back we rode in Kathy’s dressage arena for a minute, as I wanted to see if Sofie was doing any better in the trot. She was still cranky in the trot at first - pretty much letting me know she was sore, and I’d better not ask her for too much or she might have to do something about it! She doesn’t really want to be crabby, she’s just trying to cope with her situation. I’m glad she communicates, as I don’t want to overdo it when she’s hurting. We did a little walk-trot work, and she listened well and did good transitions and was reaching into the contact pretty nicely. She was Sofa round, at least! The corners seemed easier, too.

The next ride was when I started to really implement my plan. I used our trail ride as a warm-up, and chose the trail near the barn, which is pretty flat and not too long. I walked her most of the way, testing out the trot a couple times. She went into it with no crabbiness. I practiced our leg yielding along the way, and then we came out of the woods and headed back toward the barn. I had planned to ride in the front area, but we passed an empty pasture that looked inviting, so I turned her through the gate and headed for the flat areas. She was rather wobbly, not wanting to go straight when we turned away from the barn, but she improved as we went along. After a little long-rein walk work I had her pick up the trot. Sofie was nicely forward and pretty willing. She only rushed a little bit (we once did canter work in this field). Her ears went back a few times, when I asked for a bend or just when she anticipated something, but she felt much better than the previous ride. She was moving fine, listening well and we could pretty much go around reasonably straight and at least Sofa round, if not better!

I did plenty of straight lines and some bending, just to keep her round and balanced. She was a little unbalanced tracking right, of course, not quite aligned in her shoulders at first. But with a little bit of work she really improved, until I trotted her away from the barn, making a half circle, and she really softened, moving light and balanced, with the proper bend and without falling in at all! It was really nice.

With that accomplished, I wanted to do a little work in the far corners, which was a little challenging for her as it meant turning while heading slightly downhill. The first couple times she rushed it a bit and popped her shoulder the wrong way. I got her listening and fixed it tracking left, and we got a good corner! So then I just needed a decent right corner. I trotted her toward the corner, telling her “If you do a good job, you’ll get to be done!”

I didn’t expect anything, of course, but it was almost like she listened because she slowed down, balancing on the downhill and bending slightly right through the corner! She then continued straight down the fence line, still in a nice rhythm and balance. Yay! She got major praise for that, and we walked. I was true to my word (well, almost) and we were done except for turning around and practicing walking straight, away from home, on a long rein. She was a little wobbly at first but much better than before, and when I got several straight steps in a row we were done!

I dismounted, petted her and while I was standing with her I looked around. It was really beautiful, with the pastures bordered by autumn leaves and the sky a deep, reserved blue with almost purple-tinged grey clouds. It was one of those perfect rides, and I felt like I had been good and fair to my horse, and she just did a great job. There’s nothing like that feeling.

It's been so beautiful at the barn lately.

Our latest ride was also good. She came into the barn and was noticeably off when she first stepped onto the concrete aisle (not the first time she's had a few hobbling steps on the concrete). She definitely needed to get out and move, so we set out for Kathy's dressage ring. Sofie was slow and creaky at first but happy to go down the trail. I walked her at first in the dressage ring, eventually moving up to trot work. Sofie was a bit cranky about going into the trot and bending in the corners, but I just rode lightly and gave her lots of encouragement. She seemed to realize it was okay and we got some nice little trot work done. She found a rhythm that worked for her and we did some transitions, halts and a few turns/diagonal thingies (isn't that just a great descriptive term for EVERYTHING?). I'm not sure what happened, if all the leg yielding and working to keep a consistent bend on a slope was actually beneficial, or if I just have a better understanding and feel for the aids, but corners are SO much easier for us now! Before she was rushing, counterbending and not aligned in her shoulders, so our corners were really bad, but now I just half halt a bit, and use inside leg pressure, plus inside rein close to her neck, and outside rein slightly away from her neck. Once we have the bend, if she drifts out too much I just turn her with my outside aids. OMG it is SO much nicer, and easier now!

Eventually I worked up to a full trot circle (tracking right) which came out well, so we rode home under a slightly threatening (but lovely) sky. I considered going in the indoor to finish up, but it didn't start raining and it was too nice outside. So, we rode in the front yard area. I took the opportunity to test out our newly impressive cornering skillz in this one corner that Sofie does not like for whatever reason. I'm not sure if it's because the ground is slightly uneven/rocky, or just...because. But in the past it's been pretty impossible for me to get her to soften and bend through the corner.

Sofie was happy and much more forward (yay!) and we practiced going away from the barn and being straight, with success. Then we tackled the Bad Corner. The first time through, tracking right, we didn't quite get our bend right, but it was in no way horrible. I turned around, and we went back through tracking left, which went well. She stayed straight as we continued on, too! So, we turned right and went back through. And we did it! Not a perfect corner, but she wasn't rushing, wasn't counterbent and was actually straight with maybe a hint of proper right bend! Yay improvement! After that we kept going straight, and I trotted her around for a few more minutes. Sofie was moving well, and reaching very definitely into the contact (she was almost slightly heavy!). We did some straight lines, some turns, and we might've gone back through the Bad Corner just for fun. Our steering was excellent, she was round and everything was good! We ended trotting away from the barn, and I took my hands and legs away from her and she stayed straight! We ended right there because she had done everything so well and I was so pleased with her. What a good Sofa!

I'm so happy that she's been able to keep going, and that she can still have her exercise. I feel like the work we've currently been doing is very beneficial, and not too stressful. I've also gotten myself together, and I am proud of how I've treated her in our last few rides. I have been truly supportive, encouraging and fair, and I can tell it has made a huge difference in her willingness. I've not always succeeded in the past. I have let my emotions overflow, I have gotten pissy with her and I've even yelled at her and jerked her in the mouth. She doesn't deserve that, and I can't believe I ever did that to her, but she forgives me all that stuff and just keeps teaching me things. And recently I've realized how important that is to me. Other stuff, not so much. So from now on, I will be kind, and I will be fair to her. I will be that person for her, because if I know I was good to her, everything else in my life just seems more manageable. She is there for me, even when others aren't. She deserves nothing less.

I also hope to manage her condition better, and preserve her soundness. I will no longer overwork her when she's at her best. I hope to be more reasonable with cantering, circles and long rides, and avoid the crash that happens when she hits her limit. My thinking being, if I am careful with her when she's sound and able and ready to do anything I ask, maybe I can extend those times when she's feeling good and everything is great. I went a little overboard with the two hour rides, cantering and bending work this fall, mainly because I was excited to be at this barn, and we both enjoyed getting out to see everything. I love exploring with her, and I love cantering with her. But I think moderation is called for in this case. I'm sure she will have soreness, no matter what I do, and she will not always be sound, but we can sure try.

When I was feeling discouraged, I looked back at my calendar for this year, where I mark all our rides (and any downtimes). And I was surprised to see that, this whole year, she only had one week off from riding in May, and two weeks off at the end of June. Other than those minor interruptions, I've ridden her every other day, all year long. True, there were some times when she was sore, short-striding and all we could do was light bareback rides, but I was still able to ride. She used to routinely need a month off from riding every three months, so it seems she is improving. And if I manage her correctly, she may do even better in the future.

Rides, Hoof Photos, Soreness and Luck

2011-10-08T05:40:00.000-07:00

This will be a long post, as I have a lot to cover.

Sofie is starting to get sore. I can tell in little ways, like when she actually puts her ears back when semi-resisting going down a hill (the only way to the valley and the lovely continuation of our trails). She's not lame or anything, but little things about her demeanor and performance just say "OUCH".

I had the first inclination that she might be a little overworked when she bucked in the canter and then veered sharply toward home. But that was at the end of a two-plus-hour ride, so I didn't know if it was just fatigue or if all the work we'd been doing was starting to catch up with her.

I brought my dad out to the barn to take some video of us, since things had been going so well. My plan was to have him take some canter video in the valley, so I could then pull some stills and have some lovely canter shots! Very nice plan, however, we waited just slightly too long to get him out there. I could kinda tell Sofie was not right, after hacking over and doing some more walk work in the valley, but I put her into the trot to see what would happen. Her ears went back, and she started rushing, legs just flying around as she veered back and forth, feeling extremely tight and upset. She broke into the canter of her own accord at least once, and just had trouble getting settled in the trot. It felt, to me, like she knew what I wanted and she really wanted to do what I wanted, but it hurt and she was anxious and a little angry at the same time she was trying so hard to do the right thing.

Since my dad was there, and she wasn't head-bobbing or anything, I rode her in the valley for a little bit (no more than ten or fifteen minutes, I would guess) and coaxed some passable trot work out of her, plus a few canters (a couple that were pretty short-lived, and a couple longer, straight-line canters). She was incredibly good and I think it's a testament to our journey and our time together that she was willing to do that for me.

Once I'd gotten my little bit of canter video, I stopped, petted, hopped off and quickly reviewed it (her canter looks beautiful, even though she's not at her best! What a good girl). Sofie stood rather impatiently, tossing her head a little bit, either due to lingering discomfort, or maybe she just wanted to get moving again. Possibly a combination of the two. I remounted and headed off for the trails. I figured I would just do an easy, walking trail ride, then head back.

The trail ride was lovely, and I stared at the brilliant fall colors with Sofie walking easily along. We headed home through the valley, and she was rushing a bit in the walk, thinking about either going home or cantering. I realized I had neglected to do very much walk work in the valley, and it was bugging me, so I turned her around and did some work on easy walk circles, just trying to get her listening to my aids, not drifting too badly, and I wanted her shoulder aligned properly. It took some work, but she improved in the walk. So I asked her to trot, just to see how she was doing (and to school the trot without cantering, which we had, uh, also neglected to do in the valley!).

From the beginning she was very much improved in the trot. She was trotting steadily without the earlier anticipation and ouchy, pissed off edge. She was doing so well that I got sucked into working on our dressage (of course) and did some turns and circles, with emphasis on getting her shoulder aligned. She had some difficulty in the usual spots (mostly slight downhill slopes) but she did great! She worked happily, too, until I did a few turns in a row down a slope, working on the balance. After a few of those she put her ears back and slowed in the trot, like "Enough." So I did one more turn, got what I wanted, halted, patted her and quit. I was encouraged by her (mostly) cheerful trot work after the longer warm-up, but I had already figured out that I probably needed to scale back our rides even more.

With plans to scale back on our riding, I decided on a trail-only ride. I wanted to practice riding on the road, so we could hopefully find other trails and meet new people (all that good stuff). First, though, I went on a short ride around the perimeter of the property with a girl who recently moved her horse to the equestrian center. She has a rather different riding background and she tells some very interesting stories! I enjoy her company. After we parted ways, I went on with my plan to ride down the road.

Sofie was wiggly at first and a little obnoxious about leaving home. We were both a little tense on the road at first, and I had to hold her in place and keep her from drifting onto (or off) the shoulder. However, she went past two barking dogs in the very first yard without spooking and we kept going without incident. We only had one tiny spook, and a couple times she stopped and stared ahead at something. Once it was because she saw two very large black Labradors. Once I figured out their yard was fenced, I asked her to walk on and she did (I was glad they were inside a fence, otherwise I might’ve turned right around!). The dogs barked, but Sofie was unimpressed (“Uh, they’re inside a fence, who cares?”). The owner of the Labs also commented on how beautiful Sofie was. Team Sofa! I should sell T shirts…

We got to the end of the road, where we wandered past the big “Equestrian Center this way!” sign. I was apprehensive, but I decided to practice crossing the highway. I halted her across from a driveway, and waited for a break in traffic. I was really nervous, but Sofie was so good. She went across the highway with no problems and kept going, down the driveway and into a junky-looking storage yard full of trucks, trailers and scrap metal. She took a look at a couple things but bravely walked on as I looked for a place to ride. There was no one around, and I knew of a trail somewhere in that area, so I was in the mood for exploring. Besides, we were over there now, so why not?

At the edge of the storage yard, I saw a space between the trees, and rode through it. I quickly found an actual trail, the long grass flattened by ATV traffic! The trail was nice and straight, flat, with good footing. Some of it was more wooded and closed in, and then occasionally there was an open area from which I could see the highway. The trail did lack the pristine beauty of the trails near the barn, but it was a refreshing change of scenery and it’s always fun to see something new. I’m pretty sure it was an actual trail, and that I wasn’t just trespassing the whole time, although at one point the trail went right past someone’s house! (Thank goodness they weren’t home! Otherwise, awkward…)

Speaking of awkward, at one point the trail passed this pile of junk - old mattresses, bulletin boards and sheets of metal, all shot up full of holes. On the ground, about five million shells. As we walked through there, I looked around, thinking “Hmm, I’m riding through an area where rednecks come to shoot at things…THIS is smart!” It was kind of funny, really. No rednecks appeared (WIN!) so we kept going, enjoying a brief canter through an open stretch. We followed the trail until it opened up to another road, two miles from the equestrian center. I didn’t feel like going further, so we turned back.

I did a little trotting in the open area. Sofie was rushing and not listening to half halts, so we had to work on that a little. I wound up turning her around, just to test the forward heading away from home. She was VERY wiggly, swinging back and forth, which was a bit obnoxious. I kept her going in that direction until I was satisfied with her straightness, then turned back toward home and worked a little more on trotting (and listening). She was heavy and the straightness wasn’t there, so I decided to do a tiny bit of circling work, just to get her balanced. We found an area with a very slight slope and did several circles in each direction. At first, she was heavy, not listening to my seat and needing a lot of hand. She fell out of balance on the downhill slope and popped her shoulder the wrong way. But after a few repetitions she became light, and maintained her rhythm all around the circle. With inside leg at the right time, and a little support with both the inside and outside rein, she kept a fairly consistent bend around an entire right circle. Happy and pleased, I rewarded her and headed back home, walking the rest of the way. I think it’s good to do little bits of dressage work in different places. I’ve always liked short sessions, and it’s especially important to keep it brief when she’s sore.

We found our way back to the highway, and crossed with no issues. As we started walking up the road to the equestrian center, a car pulled onto the road with two little girls inside. They obviously wanted to see the horse, so their dad stopped the car, I stopped the horse, and they just watched her for a minute. Sofie stood well (though obviously wondering why we were just standing there). They thanked me and drove off, and Sofie and I continued on our way back to the barn. She ignored a barking Cocker Spaniel that ran across the yard toward us (it wouldn’t come within twenty feet of us, though).

When I got back to the barn driveway, I dismounted. My ass was tired, Sofie was tired and I figured I’d walk her the rest of the way. While my “light trail ride” was still a long ride by our standards, it was mostly straight line walk work, so I felt I succeeded in my plan. I also quit when we got back, rather than doing “just a couple trot transitions” and getting sucked into another dressage session.

Sofie had an appointment with Anne, our trimmer, so I rode again the next day. I didn’t have a whole lot of time, so I hacked over to the valley. Sofie was pretty willing, but she did resist going down the semi-steep hill that leads to the valley. Once there, we did a little dressage work, and she was heavy and running on her forehand at first, but willing to move forward. After a few firm half halts, she figured it out and I got some nicely balanced turns out of her. She stayed fairly straight throughout and was nice and willing. I did only one brief canter (she kicked up a little behind but her canter was quite nice) and quit shortly thereafter, happy with her cooperation. We then went on a very short hack before riding back to the barn to meet Anne.

Anne was awesome, as usual, and Sofie’s feet look great! Anne was particularly happy with her frogs, which are more robust than ever since the move. But, she thought Sofie was too fat (she almost always says that) and actually thought she had gained weight since she’d last seen her! I disagree, but I’m not too worried about it. Sofie is in no way obese, and her diet is very reasonable. And reducing the intensity of our rides is definitely a must, as Sofie was clearly uncomfortable and having trouble holding up her back legs. I am very grateful that we have a trimmer who understands Sofie’s issues and is never abusive to her, even when she’s not totally cooperative. It means a lot to me that she is kind to Sofie.

Sofie's left front, side view.

Sofie's toesies!

Sofie and Anne.

And finally, I just want to say that I am grateful for the luck we have, and our time together. We may have our struggles, limitations and worries, but in light of Gogo's pending euthanasia (it may have already happened as I write this) I know I am so fortunate to still be able to ride and spend time with the mare I love. I feel for Andrea in this time, and I sincerely hope she will be able to move forward and continue to inspire and educate us, because we love reading her blog. Gogo was lucky to have such a dedicated horsewoman. It breaks my heart that after all her careful management, and everything she did to help her horse, it didn't work out in the end. I don't know why things happen the way they do, but the best we can do is move forward and try to live (and love) as fully as we can. The lesson I took away from this is to make sure and love my horse, and be kind to her always, because I am lucky to have her. I want to make sure and earn that privilege, from now on.

I am so sorry, Andrea. But I thank you for that lesson.

Listening Skills

2011-10-07T15:26:00.000-07:00

We have been really fortunate to have lovely fall weather all this week. Last week, though, we did have a few days of heavy rain, wind and cold. Sofie fared well, and I didn’t have to worry about her being brought in and stuck in a stall. I ventured on a very cold, windy day (with on-and-off rain persisting), and was reminded just how cold this barn can be. The place is a wind tunnel, which makes things nice in summer heat, but in the past I’ve only ridden there in the winter so I know how cold the place gets. The barn itself was warmer than usual, due to body heat from all the horses that had been kept in (including horses that are usually outside, like Vicky’s broodmares and her stallion).

Sofie was outside with five other mares, and they were all in fine spirits. There was plenty of hay right inside the shelters, so they could get out of the wind and stuff their faces, which Sofie was busily doing. She looked rather concerned to be taken away from her hay pile, but I assured her it would still be there when I took her back.

Unsurprisingly she was kind of stiff, and had a little trouble holding her back feet up for cleaning. I did a little massage and got her ready for an arena ride. We walked for a while and worked on our typical stuff (not falling in, etc.). The early trot work went quite well. She had her nose out at first but relaxed and started to round pretty quickly. She felt pretty flowing and even. Unfortunately, the canter work didn’t go so well as she reverted back to tension and rushing. We blew quite a few canter departs, as she just started running in the trot and threw her head straight up in the air in alarm. With some work I did get her to start taking the canter, and once we got one depart she didn’t blow any more departs, except when I tried to get her to pick up the canter in a corner, forgetting I always ask her when she’s going straight. After a few unsuccessful tries I compromised by asking her right after the corner, on the long side, and she picked it up.

After that I didn’t do any more cantering, and I finished up by reestablishing the relaxation and correctness in the trot. At first she was inverting and rushing at times, but then she got the concept (or realized she was tired) and went around in a nice tempo, consistently, definitely round, light and needing hardly any aid to keep her there. She was almost a bit on the slow side, and she was starting to feel just a tiny bit off, which was magnified when she went over trotting poles. I wrapped up the session, massaged and got her ready to go back outside. She was standing a little narrow behind, but she seemed okay until I led her down the aisle. She was noticeably off in her first steps on the concrete, and I was concerned. She did walk out of it, and seemed fine when I turned her out. She went to get a drink and was tracking up normally and looking good, all things considered.

The ride went very well, much better than I would have expected given the cold and wet weather, which usually aggravates her arthritis. If I had it to do over I would probably make that ride a walk/trot ride, as I think we could have accomplished a very nice workout that was easier for her to handle. I probably should not have schooled the canter quite as much, given that it wasn’t working (and there was probably a reason for that). In the end it was an hour ride (a short ride for us at this barn), and I didn’t think it had been too detrimental, but I would have to wait and see.

The next time I went out it was a perfect, beautiful day. The mares were way out in their second field, and Sofie was lying in the sun. She got up as I approached, and seemed happy to see me, turning around to face me and moving a bit closer. She was friendly and sweet and very mellow. In the barn she stood very calmly, even with multiple people and horses around. She picked up her feet well and seemed less stiff.

I was lucky enough to go on a trail ride with three other riders, plus one girl’s boyfriend who rode along on his bike with their two dogs. Sofie was the lead horse most of the time and got lots of exposure to dogs and bikes! She was very good and never spooked, and after a while she even stopped eyeing them apprehensively when they’d suddenly appear. I was very proud of her. It was fun to ride with other people, and hear stuff about their horses and riding backgrounds. I also learned how to find the cliffside trail I rode on one day and haven’t been able to find since. We took a nice route around Vicky’s property and through the woods. Sofie was all excited when we passed through the valley, but the other riders were walking only so we waited to do our cantering.

When the others headed back I wasn’t ready to quit yet, so I said goodbye to them and stayed behind with Sofie. She was good about leaving the other horses, and we set out for the cliffside trail (otherwise known as The Shelf). Now that I knew where it was I really wanted to ride it again.

Sofie was a little reluctant on the initial downhill that leads to The Shelf, but it’s not steep and she seemed to do better as she went along. There were a couple of insubstantial fallen trees, which we skirted or just went over, and then the trail turned from basic logging road to The Shelf. It is truly beautiful, a fairly generous ledge that overlooks a long, steep dropoff on one side, higher ground on the other, with rich forests all around. The fall colors haven’t come in there yet, and it’s still very green, but I intend to go back later this fall. It’s easily one of my favorite trails.

After that I wasn’t quite ready to head back to the valley, so I found a random trail (or semi-trail - it was really more of a footpath) and decided to take it. I figured it might dead-end, but then we could always turn around (and practice actually waiting and LISTENING to me instead of just taking over). It was a nice enough trail, and I enjoyed it, but it did come to an end. I wanted to be methodical about turning around, and plan out our turn, so I backed Sofie up a few steps and then asked her to move her butt over. In theory, she would then have a nice place to make a reasonable (not spine-crunching) turn. However, true to form Sofie decided to Just Take Over. She blew through my aids, walked FORWARD (not even turning around!) and straight into a tree. She wound up with her head up against one tree, and her butt resting on another. Stuck between two trees. “Well, maybe now she’ll actually WAIT and look to me for leadership and to get her out of this,” I thought.

Nuh-uh. Sofie turned slightly, just enough to get herself un-wedged, and kept going forward, straight into two maple saplings! These were not little tiny baby trees, but actual, tall-ish, skinny but not insubstantial TREES! And she literally walked straight into them, flattening them! She kept walking, with the trees now underneath her, until she was all turned around and back on the trail heading home. All this time, I of course had been hauling on her, trying to get her to freaking STOP running into things and running over things and Just Taking Over! None of which she listened to, of course. I finally stopped her and semi-yelled “No! You cannot just take over and bulldoze your way through everything!”

After which I sat there for a second, on my now-stationary horse, and relented slightly. “Well, you CAN, but you shouldn’t!” I said, and then I let her walk on, shaking my head, laughing a little and petting her because really, what else can you do with such determination and ingenuity? She really is remarkable. Whatever situation I get us into, she gets us out of, crashing through anything in her way, regardless of whether I deem it a reasonable course of action. She is tough, and she always chooses to move forward in a challenging situation.

When we were done crashing out of the woods, we walked back to the valley for some real work. The super-long trail warm-up seemed to have worked well, and she moved into the trot with no real issues. The trot work wasn’t as super-terrific as it had been the previous time we worked in the valley, but it took very little time for me to get her going okay, and she was pretty consistently okay for much of the ride (by okay I mean not too inverted, not flying around and fairly easy to bend or correct, all good things!). We moved into the canter, working on straight (and VERY forward) lines. She went into it well, but was getting a bit too fast and strong, so I opted to do some departs on a circle to get her more collected. So we did more of our bending trot work, which basically involves trying to keep a consistent bend and tempo on slightly uneven ground. It’s difficult for her to balance on even a slight downhill slope, so I’ve been working on helping her learn to control her speed and not throw her shoulder too much. It’s difficult but beneficial, as most of our riding places are not perfectly flat.

So I worked on getting decent trot circles, and when I had her “together” I would ask for the canter. It worked pretty well. She listened well to my canter aid, though she was a bit defensive and upset at first when I asked her on the circle, probably due to having to engage more. Her canters were more collected, though. She was only able to keep the canter for a few strides, but I wasn’t concerned with the duration as much as the response.

After getting several nice canter transitions from her, I asked again, and she bucked once in the canter. I was thrown forward a bit but she didn’t buck again, so I wasn’t further unbalanced. When I put her back into the canter she started pulling and drifting sharply to the right, up the hill toward home. I pulled her head around with the inside rein, and she stopped. I knew she’d had enough, so I put her on a straight line and trotted her. She picked up the canter all on her own, and then I stopped her, got off and led her home.

A lot of my training has focused on getting Sofie listening. I want her to move forward when I ask, but also wait for me and not go rushing off. I have worked to be able to control her movement, and actually put her together for short periods of time. I am pleased to be able to half halt her, get my canter departs and correct her when she drifts or pops her shoulder. I feel she listens a lot better than she did in the past, before I started actively working on these issues.

We train our horses to listen, but often it is equally important to listen to the horse. To hear what they are saying. Riding is difficult, and fascinating, because we cannot communicate with words. Horses can learn certain words, for sure, and even phrases, but for the most part we use our aids. Shifting weight, squeezing (or kicking) legs, a touch on the reins. That is all we have to communicate some pretty complicated stuff. It’s amazing how horses can learn to understand.

Horses don’t have words, so we have to pay attention to their behaviors, their way of being. Sometimes the signs are subtle. Horses can be very brave, and generous. Sometimes they can be going along fine until it becomes too much, and that’s when they kick out, or stop, or bolt. You have to know your horse, and realize when they are trying to communicate something.

In Sofie’s case, she has an underlying, chronic physical condition. She does a lot for me, and sometimes she is so tough that I forget her issues, and I overdo it a bit. It’s hard to balance it sometimes, because I always try to do as much as she is able when she’s sound, both for her health and my enjoyment. There are times when she can do anything, and times when she just breaks down and says “I can’t”. When she’s in pain, she does put her ears back, balk or kick out. If she didn’t do that, I wouldn’t know to stop riding her. She really would break down. But some people don’t seem to get that she has a reason. Some people think she’s just a bitchy mare. They probably think I’m a sucker for going along with it. But sometimes you just have to be strong, and listen to your horse.

This week when she bucked, she immediately stopped when I got off balance. She had no intention of throwing me off. When I kept her moving, a little slow to realize what she was telling me, she tried again, using a different tactic since bucking hadn’t worked. She went forward, too forward, pulling toward home. This was at the end of a ride that lasted at least two hours. She had worked hard for me, and she just got tired and sore. I listened.

Sofie is tough. I’ve been working her pretty hard, exploring all these new trails and doing dressage, which can be strenuous as we try to get it right and get balanced. Sometimes I ride a little too long or hard, not through any malice but just because I get so involved and she’s so willing. She guts it out and hangs in there for me the same way she bulldozes trees on the trail. We still have some work to do before we get it totally right, but I think we’re both doing a good job of listening.

A Great Ride

2011-10-01T06:17:00.000-07:00

After our recent progress, I made it out to the barn on a gorgeous fall day. We have been having a lot of rain here, but I was lucky enough to get a good riding day in there. After setting out my stuff I went out to find Sofie, and when I got to the mare field I was amazed. It had been cleaned and dragged, and the old tire feeders had been removed. It looks awesome! After admiring how nice it looked, I slowly realized there were no horses, and I looked around, wondering “Where the heck did Vicky put the horses?” Then I realized they must be in the field directly behind their usual area, so I started off in that direction and I saw where the gate had been opened. As I got closer I saw the mares, way off in the far corner, looking very happy! Sofie looked up and saw me, acknowledging my presence before going back to grazing. When I was within ten feet, she picked her head up again and waited for me. I gave her some hugs and loves before haltering her and heading back to the barn. Of course, the other mares decided to take off and come flying up behind us, but Sofie didn’t get too concerned with their craziness.

The second field is pretty grazed down (the geldings were on it for a while), and it’s so nice for them to have a little more grazing and even more room. They have so much space! I love it!

Sofie was moving fine at the walk, so I groomed and tacked her up, then we headed outside. I was not going anywhere near the indoor on such a fine day! I decided to ride over to my friend Kathy’s place. It is adjacent to Vicky’s property, and she has land with many trails and an outdoor dressage arena, all of which are open to the boarders at the equestrian center. I definitely wanted to ride in the valley behind her house, but first I went on a trail ride in the woods. Sofie was pretty high-energy, definitely thinking about her canter departs! She did listen well, though, backing up very nicely when I had to turn her around to avoid a steep downhill. On the way to the valley I did some back-and-forth leg yielding and walk-trot transitions. She listened well to my seat even when traveling slightly downhill. I did one canter on the trail, and she didn’t quite want to come back to trot! But I had her walk as we reached the valley.

It really is a beautiful area. It’s becoming my new favorite place to ride. There is plenty of open space, with little slopes to help challenge and balance Sofie, and it is bordered by trees, with the occasional tree to ride around. When I first rode through there I thought to myself that it would be a great place for cantering, and we’ve done enough cantering there now that Sofie comes in rarin’ to go! She definitely knows the plan. I actually have to work more on half halting and getting her settled in the trot before cantering, as I don’t want her anticipating or being too crazy.

So we entered the valley, and Sofie immediately took off in a flying trot, head up and ready to go. I brought her back and did some transitions, backing her up before trotting again. It took some half halting to settle her, and for a few minutes she kind of went back and forth between rounding nicely and throwing her head up while rushing forward. But she began to understand, and eventually we were on a circle tracking right, and she was balancing on the slightly varying slope, listening and engaged. She was very round, really reaching down and filling my hands, establishing and maintaining a positive, definite contact. It was like she really got the concept, and she understood that I didn’t want her to just run, I wanted her relaxed and round. She kept her rhythm, not speeding up, and bent from my inside leg, really engaging and rounding through her topline as I asked her to move away from my leg, just slightly, as she went up a small hill.

It was just an awesome feeling. She hasn’t been that engaged in a long time. I felt like she was really understanding me, and I could tell she just looked beautiful. She really can look nice if she’s not tense or unsound! As I rode around on the circle, spewing “Good girl!” pretty much the whole time, I noticed my friend Kathy standing up by her house watching. I think she called out “She looks great!” or something, and I finished up one final circle and then walked Sofie up to say hi to her. I was pleased that someone had actually witnessed us at our best (too often, we look entirely questionable when people are around). We chatted for a bit, and Sofie stood well but occasionally tossed her head, bending her neck low and clearly saying “When can we stop standing around and go CANTER? I was a good girl!!”

Soon we did turn around, and I located the spot where I wanted to pick up the canter. So I circled around, trotted and asked for the canter. Bang on, solid transition and nice canter. We came back to trot, and I did more half halting, and once she was listening reasonably well we picked up the canter again. No hesitation! Once again, we calmed ourselves and then went back to canter. Sofie was quite forward this time, and a bit strong. I attempted to bring her back before we ran out of field, but I had been holding her back a bit too much and she shook her head a little, like “Stop holding me back!” So I eased up, and she made the turn at the end of the field and headed back across the open expanse of grass. I just let her go, and she gradually accelerated to a Sofa gallop. She doesn’t really know how to gallop, a fast canter/hand gallop is about the best she can do. But that’s plenty fast for me, and I enjoyed just riding her full out. She came back to me easily, having gotten that out of her system, and we walked, all forward and snorty ‘cause we went fast. After a breather I finished up with a little more trot work. I always want to end on a controlled, reasonable note. More half halts, and we did some nice trot/walk transitions with a little bending as well. She was good, and I dismounted and led her home. I was so happy with her. I absolutely love her when she works like this. There’s nothing better. We work so hard just building back up to that point after she has time off, and sometimes it’s a little discouraging. But I feel like I know what I’m doing a lot better, and I think the retraining process will be easier in the future. I have a method that works for her, and I have been much more encouraging and supportive as of late. I hope to keep that up. I must keep that up. She does so much for me, even when she is stiff and sore. And when she is feeling good, that’s when it all comes together and we enjoy the hell out of it while it lasts.

Friendship

2011-09-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

On Monday I went out to see Sofie after her weekend off, and she was agreeable to coming in. It looks like the mares are getting more hay now, so I have stopped feeding snacks/feeling sorry for her (not that she was being neglected in the first place). She’s standing better in the aisle and not being obnoxious about looking for food, and her latest hock scrape was healing up just fine. She didn’t seem overly stiff, so I pretty much just groomed and tacked up. The sky was rather dark, but I ventured outside anyway, walked her over to the mounting block…aaaannnnd it started raining. So, we turned around and went back inside. I threw down a few poles, pretty much just guessing at the spacing, and got on. I started out with the usual “Excuse me, stay on the rail” reminders as she worked out of her little stiffness. Once she moved out of her slow, creaky warm-up walk, she stretched down nicely and seemed to be moving well over her back. She felt very loose and relaxed, with a little bit of power behind the movement.

After I picked up some slight contact I started working on leg yielding, which has become my new favorite thing to do. She moves over easily tracking left. Sometimes she is a little stiffer tracking right, but she’s learning, and once she gets the idea she can go back and forth quite easily. So I worked on moving her off my leg in the walk, and it went well. She’s not doing a true leg yield yet, as I suspected (I had a ground person there to confirm). There’s no crossover, and she’s not quite straight - she’s leading with her shoulders. I might be overbending her neck just slightly and letting her fall through the outside shoulder, I’m not sure. But, even though it’s not technically “correct” and wouldn’t score well, I feel it is a good training exercise and a positive start, since she is moving off my leg, and she understands the basic concept, which will make things so much easier. And it really improves her suppleness. I could see a few times in the mirror when she was bending beautifully throughout her body. It really is more productive than riding circles, and probably less detrimental to soundness (not to mention, constant circling is BORING). I think it’s great for our connection, as I’m now getting her bent around my leg, rather than “hand riding” mainly with the inside rein. It really is a nice feeling, and maybe if I keep working on it we can eventually do real leg yields! Wouldn’t that be nifty?!

I’ve also been moving her off my leg slightly before asking for the trot, just to help with suppleness and connection. Our trot work was pretty good, somewhat mixed and needing relaxation at times, which I think has something to do with her anticipating the canter. So there was some trotting with her nose stuck out, which was fairly correctable and I managed to get her “Sofa round” at intervals, at least. I practiced moving her off my leg in trot as well, with mild success. I’m happy with any kind of response at this point, since she’s just getting the concept, especially in trot. Everything is harder in trot. I did pretty much no circling, just straight lines, “leg yielding” (add dramatic air quotes there) and serpentines, which were pretty nice. It wasn’t perfect all the time, but we established decent relaxation and lightness.

Of course once I had that I had to work on the canter and pretty much let it all go, but I wanted to see how the canter would be in the indoor. It was actually much improved from where we started with her getting extremely nervous, rushing horribly in the trot and just flying around. She was still a bit unsettled, and the head did come up, but she was so much better. I think we blew maybe one or two departs and I had to just bring her back, but the rest of them were pretty decent. She didn’t quite lift up decisively at the instant I asked like she has been able to do outside, but she took only a few faster steps and her canter quality wasn’t bad. She was a bit fast in the canter, and she tended to break to trot before the corners (probably because she was already rushing and didn’t want to have to turn at that pace, reasonably enough), and her canter-trot transitions were pretty rough. Her head was waaaay up, but she came back to me pretty rapidly, and I was able to get her at least somewhat relaxed and round after each canter, which was all I wanted at this point. She did get a little crooked sometimes on straight lines, but I was able to correct it somewhat with my leg.

I did do one canter to the right, and it was actually the best depart she did all day! It was just super nice, prompt and lifting rather than flattening. Her canter quality was really nice too. She even looked pretty in the mirrors! Wrong lead, of course, but damn, our counter canter is nice. Maybe it’s because of all the suppling work I’ve been doing on the right side?

Towards the end of the ride I did get her to canter through two corners. She was going pretty fast, but reasonably balanced and not leaning in horribly. It’ll be nice when she’s able to canter relaxed corners and circles in there (the arena is so huge, we should be able to circle as large as we need to). She just needs more time to get comfortable with the surface, and not worry about it so much. She’s trying, and I’m very proud of her.

After the canter work, my main goal was to get her to relax again as she was somewhat spastic in the trot - tentatively relaxing and half halting, then speeding up and getting tight because she was over thinking it. I pretty much tried to leave her alone as much as possible, half halting when she got too fast, and rubbing her neck to try and reassure her. It took a bit of repetition, but she eventually relaxed (or realized she was kinda tired) and went around at a trot, at a nice, easy tempo, very round, needing hardly any aids at all to keep her there. I trotted her on both sides and did a few easy turns before stopping and getting off.

I also did some work over the trot poles at random intervals during the ride. I actually got the spacing right for once, and she did very well over them. She was a little wiggly on the approach - poles are not her favorite thing ever. But they did make her use herself and look pretty, so I think we’ll keep using them! She only tripped over them once, near the end - just pure error on her part, she didn’t pick up her feet enough so she about fell on her face. After that she was more careful.

The rain hadn’t really come in, so I took her on a short hack outside. She was bad about heading out - just very drifty and not listening, so she got a few thumps and definite half halts. She got better, though. We enjoyed a nice canter along the fence line and then headed back. She got her face brushed, liniment on her hocks, a brief massage and then she helped me put the poles away and clean up poop. Then I took her back outside. One of her “friends” gave her trouble at the gate, so poor Sofie was caught between a metal gate, a bitchy Mustang and me yelling (at the Mustang, but Sofie still worries). Once I got her successfully inside I took off her halter and went after the Mustang, who actually turned and ran, making me feel quite superior (I have always dealt with bitchy dominant horses this way, and they learn that you Do Not mess with me, which makes things a lot easier).

I went back to Sofie, who seemed grateful that I’d rescued her from her friend (she’s smart enough to realize these things). So she stayed for a few minutes and some hugs before walking off to wait for someone to feed her.

I’m very happy because I feel like I finally managed to train productively and work through issues without becoming overly aggressive or discouraged. The ride was by no means issue-less, but it was full of progress and improvement, which I love. I feel like Sofie and I were friends that day, which is really important to me. I haven’t always been fair to her this year, and the cool thing about her is that she went right back to being my friend when I got my act together. There’s nothing better than feeling like you are friends with your horse, and that friendship can be easily earned. With people, you can try so hard and do everything right for them, and they can still disappoint you. Horses don’t do that. They are not always easy to understand, but once you do understand, progress can be quickly achieved.

And Canter!

2011-09-26T08:38:00.001-07:00

It’s almost the end of September (how?!?) and the temperature is dropping. Miss Sofie is starting to get fuzzy, and she still seems to be enjoying all the turnout. I’ve even seen her outside of the shelters during a rainy spell. She’s still managing to remain fleshy on sparse grass and a bale or two a day (shared with five to seven mares). It’s a good situation for her.

She generally is a little stiff when she comes in (one day she was noticeably off when she first hit the concrete, but she soon walked out of it). I haven’t been trail riding her quite as vigorously, as she’s been having trouble on downhill stretches. So I’ve stuck to the flatter trails. Our dressage has been fairly decent. I still need to work on my equitation, as I’m sure I’m slacking off when I’m outside and don’t have mirrors. But I’m making an effort.

I’ve been working more on having her move off my leg, and she’s doing pretty well. I don’t know if we’re doing any true leg yields yet, but she is more responsive to lateral aids than a lot of horses I’ve ridden, so that’s a plus. She’s doing well with backing up, and I also did some counter flexion one ride, which seemed to help. It’s nice to try different things. In addition I’ve been working more on ground manners, particularly moving over when I ask. Sometimes she can become really obsessed with food and forget to pay attention, which makes me mad.

Um, Sofa, you are not exactly starving here, so you do not need to be obsessed with hunting hay wispies on the floor! Thanks in advance.

The most exciting thing we have going on is that we’re cantering again! She kept rushing into her canter departs after the move, and was just generally so anxious about it that I left it alone for a month or so. Then on a recent ride, after working in the indoor for a while, I went out on a short trail ride. The air was brisk and Sofa was energized and in good spirits, so I decided to try asking for the canter. There’s a super nice, wide grassy trail near the barn that I knew would be a good canter place, and so I asked for the canter as she trotted up a slight hill. She did take a few slightly faster trot steps, but then she went into the canter nicely! She did a good job and seemed to enjoy herself. I asked her twice more, once toward the barn, once away from it, and each time her depart was prompter. We then walked back to the barn, very happy.

I’ve been working on it during each ride, and progress is very good. One day we went down into this nice, thinly wooded valley. Sofa was FORWARD. OMG, she was in her OTTB mode and just zooming around. It’s amazing how forward she can be when her arthritis doesn’t keep her down! She can be pretty hot. Of course we weren’t all that polished, but she did listen to me fairly well and some of her departs were nice. It’s just fun when she’s zipping around like that. I finished up with a short trail ride and then some trot work in the valley, trying to get my point across that we do not always canter! It was a LOT of half halts.

The next time I was out I rode her around the perimeter of the property, and she was quite hyped up. Her mind was just not all there, and she was very inverted and rushy. I managed to not remember the previous ride when we were cantering around like crazy, so I was a little annoyed with her for not settling down. I did a little canter work in this circular area carved out of the woods, and it was pretty much all over the place. Some of her departs were okay, other times she rushed off. And in the trot work she was very anticipatory. Once again, a lot of half halts. We ended up back in the front yard, and she was more relaxed there, but I was glad to get that ride out of the way.

The last two rides have been a major improvement. The skies have been overcast, and both times I thought I might get stuck in the indoor, but the rain held off and I was able to have a lovely ride outside. It’s been cool, such nice riding weather. The time before last I hacked her over to the neighbor’s outdoor dressage arena to do some work. She was so much better than the previous time, no crazy rushing at the trot. She was much more reasonable. After a short warm-up I did a little trot work and then started with the canter transitions. Her departs were clearly improving. Except for the occasional rushing off or slight delay, they were really nice. I just did straight lines and worked on her response. I had to work on her anticipating in the trot, which got a little frustrating. Eventually I just let her go forward and she improved. She wasn’t round the whole time by any means, but it still felt much more disciplined and it was a huge improvement.

Afterward I rode her down to the valley, where I did some walk-trot work, as well as some backing and turn on the forehand. Ugh, turn on the forehand was rusty. She wanted to just blow through my aids and not remain in place. I don’t think her mind was totally there. The trot work was pretty decent - some of it was really nice, and other times she wanted to rush or drift or whatever. Eventually I asked her to canter, and she rushed off (she was going down a slight slope, and I don’t think she felt balanced) so I took her back to a walk and got her settled, then put her back into the trot and asked again in a more level spot. That time she nailed it! The transition was so sweet. Big pats for that, and we went on a nice trail ride in the woods before heading back home.

Last ride she looked stiff in the aisle, and had another new scrape on a hock (she loves to get superficial wounds). I gave her a massage and went on a short trail ride to start things off and get her loosened up. She seemed happy to be out there, and was quite forward, but she kept tripping. Her mind was clearly elsewhere, or she just didn’t feel like picking up her feet. I practiced leg yielding on the trail, and she did quite well with it. Eventually I picked up the trot for a bit, and then worked on halting when she was all “Are we gonna canter? I KNOW we’re gonna canter!”

I was going to ride either in the front yard or on the wide grass trail, but as I was heading that way I saw an opening into a field the barn owner is developing. So I went “Hey, why not?” and turned her in that direction. She was kind of distracted by the neighboring horses at first, but I walked her around a little and then asked her to trot. The steering needed a little work, but it wasn’t too bad.

I asked her for the canter heading toward the barn, and she went right into it. I let her stay in the canter for almost the length of the pasture, and it was just freeing to canter across that wide open space. I haven’t cantered her for any real distance in a while, and it was exhilarating. The wind was roaring even! When we got near the end of the field I gave the tiniest half halt and she came back to me instantly. I would’ve loved to do that some more, but the trainer in me felt a balance was required. So I walked her briefly and then asked for the canter going away from the barn. She rushed forward (the only time she did that during the whole ride) so I brought her back and tried again, and that time she took off promptly. She was, however, not straight at all, almost counter bending and drifting away from the fence. I tried to get her to move over and was only slightly successful. She broke to the trot, and I quickly did a refresher on moving OVER.

The low points of the ride were occasional rushing, occasional not moving over and most of all, not going straight! I tried to work on her staying straight on a loose rein, and I don’t know if I’ve been neglecting that aspect or what, but she was just terrible. She just pinball-machines back and forth. It’s a long-standing issue, and it’s one I’d like to correct as it drives me nuts, but I’m not quite sure how to make real progress.

Other than that, the ride was quite good overall. The canter work and moving off my leg were the major high points. I even attempted a canter circle, and I think we actually sorta managed it! I’m sure it wasn’t geometrically correct, and the thing was HUGE, but we actually got some bend and we kept going even though we were bent! She got much better at moving off my leg, and we did some really awesome sweeping turns up and over hills. It felt like she was really engaging and she was nicely round. Her canter departs, except for that one time, were just bang on. She was super prompt and lifted into it like she has in the past. Obviously backing off was the right thing to do.

Toward the end of the ride, I did another away-from-the-barn canter. She went into it so beautifully, then of course she flung her body to the right. But I put my leg on, and she moved over! Like, way over, where she was supposed to be! It was such a response, it just made me so happy because she was getting it! She drifted a couple more times, but each time she moved right off my leg. I was super pleased. After that I did just one more canter transition and then went for a walk around the field. I worked a little more on going straight (grrrr) and then did a little trot work in a far corner. She did a lovely little canter transition from an outside “Okay, turn now!” aid (grin). Eventually I ended it with just a little more trot work. I try to finish up with her listening to me, being round and NOT flying around and over thinking it. She wasn’t perfect, but she had some really nice, round stretchy moments and wasn’t too racy. I was proud of her for working so hard and never being grumpy. Lately she’s been a lot more generous and temperamentally sound than I have. I’ve been getting frustrated at times, and sometimes I allow stress to make bitchy. Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing by training her, if I can’t always keep my emotions out of the way. But I think it’s good for her to have boundaries, and I honestly don’t want her racing around all the time. I don’t think that would do us any favors. Of course I should do better, and I should not become frustrated or discouraged when I’m trying to train her, but the beauty of it is that she is always there, and she doesn’t keep an inventory of my mistakes like I do. Whether or not I deserve it, she always gives me a chance. And I’m finding I don’t need everything to be perfect. All I need is to feel moments of progress. Even if we’re still kind of a mess, those moments are the fuel I need to keep going.

Riding Photos 9/7/11

2011-09-11T05:10:00.001-07:00

I was able to get some photos of a recent ride. Since my training epiphany that I should be using a lot less hand and a lot less aid, Sofie had been much more relaxed and consistently quite round and responsive. I actually enjoyed watching her in the mirrors when I rode in the indoor! The ride before this I did a lot of transitions, but this ride I mainly trotted after a short warm-up. Sofie was a bit stiff the day these pictures were taken, and she wasn't quite as focused outside. But I was pleasantly surprised (actually thrilled) with the pictures. For not being at her best, she really improved throughout the session.

This ride was basically trot work, with a few transitions, halts and some changes of direction. I did some bending work but very few circles. She wasn't reaching into my hands quite as well as she has been, but I think these pictures show the way I'm trying to ride.

Ignore my equitation. It is abysmal. All I can say for myself is that I do better when I have mirrors! Just look at Sofa, she's a lot prettier than I am in these pictures.

The warmup. She's not really tracking up or using her back yet, but she's "Sofa round" and working out of her stiffness.

Starting to get some semblance of actual dressage-resembling-work.

Sofie says, okay, I'll fall on my forehand if you'll collapse forward...

Beginning to use the correct muscles. This is Sofa round - very much in front of the vertical, but with a relaxed neck and definitely a change from inversion.
Bending.
Sofie stretch!

She's beginning to have a really nice shape to her neck, all on a pretty loose rein.

I like this one. She almost looks like an Andalusian cross, or something! Love the impression of power. Love the loose reins, also.
This is just the ultimate picture. Look at her neck! The positive muscling, and just her whole shape. She's round over her entire topline, using herself properly, and all without heavy contact or a ton of circling. This is voluntary. This is just letting it happen.

Sights Around The Barn

2011-09-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

The Barn. It is large. I discovered this when I backed up to take a picture of it.

The indoor. This is pretty much only a corner of it.

The front field where we ride sometimes.

Sofie after a ride.

Dirty, sweaty conformation shot!

Sofa on the run!

Sofie after a bath.

Making New Friends

2011-09-09T15:38:00.000-07:00

When I moved Sofie to the new barn, I went through a lot of anxiety due to the fact that I would be taking her away from her friends. I felt very bad for having to do that, and I worried that she would have trouble settling in. Clearly, Sofie has come a long way, because she settled in just fine. And she wasted no time in getting acquainted with the alpha mare in her new group, a bay Mustang.

I was not at all surprised by her choice of a new best friend, as Sofie loves bay alpha mares. At Judy's she became friends with the alpha mare, a bay Friesian cross, and became second in command by association. So after an initial few days when the Mustang mare was territorial and bitchy toward Sofie, she quickly became tolerant.

Sofie is in love with the Mustang, and she follows her around and nickers to her all the time. The other mare's owner thinks she is adorable, while the mare looks at Sofie like she's the biggest dork ever (which she is, but she's cute). I knew Sofie had secured her place in the herd when she walked right up behind the Mustang and then drank at the water tank beside her, totally ignoring the mare's dirty looks. The Mustang never once kicked her, and though she still pretends to not care about Sofie, Jesse has witnessed the mare sleeping with her head resting on Sofie's back. Awwww.

I've also been fitting in okay at the new barn, and I ride with the Mustang's owner every weekend.

What Works and What Doesn't

2011-08-30T09:01:00.000-07:00

August is quickly wrapping up. Our move to the new barn was successful, and so far our time here has been enjoyable. We are making new friends, and I’ve learned something, although it wasn’t so much a new something as a something I learned before and kind of drifted away from.

Our rides were mixed, sometimes fun and sometimes overly intense. Sofie continued to not be comfortable with the canter, and when I tried to keep pushing the issue she really regressed. During one ride she started to feel like she did when I first got her, just terribly tense and rushing. I felt terrible, and I was afraid she was breaking down in some way. Usually that has been the case when we’ve had difficulties, but I think this time it was psychological, because the next time she was fine, and has continued to be fine. So I’m giving the canter a little time, and getting back to basics.

When we weren’t struggling with our dressage, we were out on the trails. Despite having many, many onsite trails I decided to try riding her on the road, and it went far better than I expected. We did a couple road rides in a row, and Sofie was quite good. She handled all the footing - grass, gravel and blacktop - and even was brave about three kids walking down the side of the road, a guy power washing his deck, and all kinds of dogs barking. One little fru fru dog even ran up behind her, showing questionable judgment, I thought, and Sofie stayed in halt while the little dog barked at her. She was also barked at by two Jack Russells (OMG so cute!), a Cocker Spaniel, and a Lab. Most of the owners were quite nice about watching their dogs (“Don’t spook the horse!”) and one guy even complimented Sofie as we went back past his house on our way home.

I actually made it as far as the highway, quite an accomplishment. She was pretty good out there, not really minding the traffic, but our second time out it was windy and she got scared. Pretty much everything she saw made her scared, including parked vehicles (not normally an issue). The biggest problem we had was some flapping black material. Something about it just really scared her, and it was a very tense moment when we had to turn around and go back past it. Sofie just stopped and started backing up, not wanting to go near it, and I just hoped she would stop backing up before she got too close to the highway. I got her to go forward, and just tried to keep her going forward without freaking out too badly. She listened to me really well even though she was scared. It was dicey, but I was glad we were able to handle it. I hope to do more road work this fall. I would like us to be more comfortable with it so we can explore even more places.

When I don’t feel like facing death by flapping black things (grin) we can stick to the property and still not get bored. The trails are lovely, most not too challenging, with good footing and minor hills. They range from more open, grassy trails to narrower, more shaded logging roads, all wooded. We did find a couple of more interesting trails, one of which is very narrow, cut through the woods. It goes up and down and pretty much all over the place. Another trail I found has the feel of a cliffside mountain trail. The ledge isn’t super narrow, but it does overlook a very steep drop-off. It’s a cool trail, but I am afraid of heights (and I’ve never had that sensation of looking waaaay down while on a horse, either), so I was a bit nervous. Sofie, of course, didn’t care, and had no idea why I kept making her get away from the edge. She handles everything I get her into.

As we continued down that same trail, it narrowed out and went downhill. I kept her going, even when she stopped, questioning why we really had to keep going this way. Ten feet later, I saw a tree across the trail. Sofie kept going, knowing she could fit under it. I knew I could not, so I stopped her and debated. We couldn’t turn around there. I could’ve gotten off, but I didn’t want to because getting back on would be an issue. So I decided to back her up a little ways and then attempt to turn around on the super narrow trail. Sofie can be really sticky about backing, but in this context she seemed to understand why we were doing this, and she backed willingly up an incline, then used her special trail horse talents to make a really tight turn. Then we headed back. I did not really want to have to go back via the Cliffside Of Death, but I didn’t think there was an alternate route. Sofie seemed to think there was. She headed for a trail. She sees trails that aren’t really trails sometimes, but I realized she actually had found a trail. It went straight uphill. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to go this way, but she was committed, so I got up off her back and we started up the trail. It was steep. Very, very steep. Sofie was breathing hard halfway up it, and she stopped a couple times, probably rethinking the shortcut. But we got up the hill and headed back home.

After some of our recent rides, I had reached a point where I knew something needed to change. Dressage was not working. It was feeling like a struggle. It was eroding our relationship. I had been struggling with depression and uncertainty, and it was creeping into my riding. Instead of feeling better when I was with my horse, I brought all my negativity into her life.

This was the year I started to get ambitious. We were going to get our training together. We were gonna get the basics down. I learned some things in my dressage lessons, and from my watching of other people’s dressage lessons. I worked hard to apply that to Sofie, and it was working to some extent. We were making progress. Then we went lame for a while and had to begin again, and it never quite worked. We had moments of progress, moments of correctness, but we worked hard for them, and it felt like it. I felt like I was fighting. We spent too much time going around with her nose stuck out, fighting my hand. I started to wonder if I was wrong to try and do dressage with her. I knew how wonderful she could be but it wasn’t happening anymore.

Sometime during all of this, I happened to be tacking up Sofie while another boarder rode. Her horse was looking kind of like Sofie, with her nose stuck out and her legs going too fast. The barn owner came by and started giving pointers. I didn’t expect to hear anything worthwhile, but I started hearing things that made sense. She worked on the rider’s position, got her to try some different things. She corrected a bad habit. Then she started to work on the horse. She had the rider stop her horse, back her up and send her back into trot. She repeated the exercise, and the horse came round. She stopped looking pissed off. She was stepping under better than I’d ever seen her, and she had hock action! I watched, and I saw results. I saw correct training.

I tried the exercise on my own that day, and Sofie was resistant to backing at first, so we had some difficulty. But it seemed to work, and after a while she was trotting forward and round, and I sat her trot easily. She worked better than she had been. It still needed work, but it was there.

After that stressful ride when I pushed her into anxiety and rushing, I stopped. I took myself off this path, and I went back to basics. Our basics. I started listening to Sofie again, and I thought back to how I used to ride her. How she taught me to ride her.

The Jesse method doesn’t work. Not for this horse, and I don’t know how much I like it for any horse. It’s too much hand. Too much aid. Entirely too much pressure. I don’t think it’s necessary, and I would rather not ride that way. It’s all about competition, tests and scoring. I may never show this horse, and if I do it won’t be to win.

I’ve realized why I enjoy riding. Why I want to do this. I want to build a relationship. I want to make my horse the best she can be. I want to be happy and ride with joy. I want to feel her moving underneath me, moving forward, carrying herself. I want her to respond to every aid with lightness. I want to do less and not more.

I don’t regret my dressage lessons. I got valuable information from them. I got a better idea of where I can take my training. I got a concept of the basics. I learned new techniques, and I developed a feel for connection and crookedness. I just don’t have to continue on that path. I will take what I learned and use what I can when I ride my way.

My way, my instinct has always been to ride with lightness. Pretty much every trainer who has ever taught me complimented my light hands. I’ve also been told I’m not assertive enough, too passive. I think I’ve come a long way. I’m a lot less meek now, thanks to Sofie. But I don’t want to veer too far from lightness, from compassion. I think that is a mistake.

The last two rides I have gone back to my way. I’ve kept my reins long, just short enough to not be flopping, completely empty. I let Sofie go forward, and I did very little with my hands. I did a lot of releases, stretching my hands forward. And she relaxed and reached down, creating the contact on her own. Trusting. The more I released, the more she relaxed. Occasionally I bent her a little, but mostly I just let her go.

Sofie has come a long way in her tolerance of contact. There was a time when I had to let her go when she was tense or taking off in a canter, or she would get faster or kick out. Now I can actually hold her back, or use the reins to keep her from speeding up in a tense situation. But she still does best with a light rein. Too much pressure just makes her anxious, her head comes up and she gets further and further away from what I am trying to achieve.

I’m going to keep working on the trot-halt-reinback-trot exercise, as I believe it will help us a lot. It has done wonders for the other boarder’s mare. I may also take some lessons from the barn owner. But mostly I’m going to ride on my own. Sofie is a wonderful horse, generous and kind. I enjoy riding her more than any other horse. When she is sound, relaxed and happy, trotting in a field, the feeling I get can sustain me through any dark times we face.

Sofie teaches me everything. From her I can learn what works and what doesn’t, although sometimes it takes me a while to listen. To understand. I wish I was better, but I hope anyone reading this can learn something from my inadequacies. The most important things, I want to emphasize now. The first is: listen to your horse. They will tell you everything you need to know.

And the other thing is, maybe, even though other people may have more experience, more credentials, and a whole lot of power, they are not always right. Never be afraid to stop listening to them and go your own way. It doesn’t matter what other people think. It only matters how you feel.

Fitness Overhaul

2011-08-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

After our somewhat intense ride on Friday I went out the next day to just visit with Sofie, groom her and wash her tail. Then she grazed on the lawn while I finger-combed and fluffed her tail, which looks much better now. I felt like we just needed to chill for a day, and I think we succeeded in doing that.

I rode again on Monday, and there was no threatening weather happening, so we went right to the trail. We explored a new pasture-in-development, getting in a workout in sand. When we cut back across the pasture I had her trot, and THAT was fun...she bounced through the sand almost like she does when we ride in the snow. Wheeeee! After we finally got out of the field (after traversing the entire thing, because I mistakenly thought there was NOT a fence all the way around it!) we went back around the OUTSIDE of the fence and headed to a trail I'd seen the other day that looked inviting. It turned out to be a very good conditioning workout, relatively challenging and hilly, but not horribly so. The downhill got a little steep, especially when she started picking up speed, and then I saw wet leaves underfoot, but she handled it just fine and didn't slip. Then we were well into the woods, where we meandered for a while before finding the entry trail again and going back up the hill. It was a good workout for her - she was puffing as we headed back up. Then we headed back to the barn, as I wanted to do some arena work and surreptitiously watch the lesson-in-progress. We'd already gotten in a nice ride, and I incorporated more trotting into the trail ride, all in the hopes of building fitness.

Back in the indoor, I remounted and started our slightly-dressage-resembling work. There were two lessons going on, so it was nice to see other people riding. Sofie's new friend, a cute little QH mare, was in there too. We worked on not flying around being inverted, and also on not diving off the wall on this one side. And it went very well! She got a little tense at certain moments and inverted at times, but she listened fairly quickly and brought her head down, and she was in a nice, relaxed "frame" the majority of the time. We didn't stay on a circle either, we went along the rail a lot of the time, and she did much better at staying round on straight lines. She was pretty nice and forward, too, and seemed to understand what I wanted a lot better. She seemed to trust my hands, too, so clearly I didn't set her back too far by being a bit heavy-handed the other day. Her walk work was really nice, she was really reaching and maintaining the contact on her own. She looks so pretty when she has a long neck. :) I also did a little work on asking for more energy at the walk, and I actually succeeded a couple times. When I tapped her, she walked more forward and didn't just break into the trot. I think we'll try to work some more on that. She always has a nice swingy walk through her back, but she doesn't necessarily overtrack or anything like that. Not sure how much of an overtrack she's even capable of, but a bit more energy couldn't hurt.

We did have issues with diving off the wall, especially to the right. I think it's a bit of a strength/compensation issue. So I had to experiment a bit with that. I have to try not to hold her up (and I don't even want to 'cause it makes me tired). She gets so heavy on the left rein, which is an issue we need to work on. When it gets really bad I usually try to either lighten her by counterflexing, or else just throw that rein away for a second. I'm trying to teach her to stay on the rail by letting her fall off and then correcting her, rather than trying to hold her all the time. Tapping her on the shoulder seems to help, although it does make the relaxation go away. But, we can't work on everything all at once. And diving off the wall is not cool. I'm sure she'll learn not to do that eventually, especially as she gets stronger. Straightness is an issue for us as well. Sometimes we are so wobbly, it either makes me laugh or just pisses me off. I think the issue is that turning is just so easy for her, she always wants to be turning. And some of it is anticipation. It's just another long-term project.

BUT I was really happy with how the ride went. We definitely made progress, and much of the time we looked pretty respectable. I enjoyed myself, and she worked really well for me. She had a very good attitude and seemed to be trying to get it right. At this point, my focus is on fitness and balance. I'm going back to my old belief that you can't improve the canter by cantering badly. Trot work is the best thing for the canter. There is nothing really wrong with our canter, it's just a fitness issue at this point, and maybe a mental issue as well. She's at a new place, dealing with new footing, and she's not quite comfortable cantering at this point. And I know she needs to be stronger. So we're going to go on longer rides, and do more trot work, and then I'm sure we'll be able to canter with no problem.

Also, due to an expensive clinic I was going to partake in being cancelled, I can now take a lesson or two with Jesse! Another reason to get us in shape!!

First Week

2011-08-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

Our first week at our new home came and went, and it went very well indeed. Sofie has settled in beautifully, and I’m really liking it there. She is out with the mares now, and the sparseness of the grass forces her to actually move around while searching out the best grass. She looks good, and she seems so happy. The herd introduction was handled very well by the barn owner, and Sofie hasn’t gotten even a scratch on her so far.

The turnout seems to be making a difference already. She is warming up so much easier that she has been this year. Before she was taking longer and longer to warm up (sometimes it took just about the whole ride before she loosened up and stopped being cranky), and I was very concerned. I had hoped the turnout would help, but I wasn’t too optimistic since Sofie just doesn’t self-exercise. I’m very happy with the turnout situation for her. I’m hoping it will really help preserve soundness over the long term. It certainly is helping now. Even without free schooling (it is prohibited in the fancy arena with the mirrors) she’s doing fine, mentally and physically.

We’ve been slowly exploring the trail system, the facility itself, and we’ve actually gone on some long rides. Before, an hour ride was about as long as we ever did, and the more typical session was 30-45 minutes. Here, we have many more riding options, which makes it easier (and almost necessary) to stretch things out.

Our first couple rides started in the indoor, then I went on a short trail ride. It didn’t take long for me to get sick of the indoor (it’s gorgeous, but it’s still a boring indoor), so I began doing our dressage work outside, either in the neighboring boarder’s dressage arena or just on the unoccupied front yard area. Sofie seems to do much better outside, and it’s just nice to be out. She was a little nervous at first in the dressage ring in this new random place, but she listened well and we actually got some productive (for us) work done in there. We then rode the trails for quite a while, and she was solid, apart from spooking at a dead stump with holes in it (it has EYYYYYEEEEES….) and a few dead tree limbs here or there. She has never liked tree carnage. Also, when it was time to find our way home, she kept trying to go off onto different trails that I knew would not get us home. So I made her go my way, all the while thinking “Geez, maybe I’m totally screwed up and she’s right!” But my way actually did get us where I wanted it to, so then I got to make fun of her for her superior trail horse home-finding skillz. Then we did some work in this nice little valley, since Sofie was being obnoxious about going home, so of course I had her do more work before letting her do so. She was very fast and fairly strong, but she was actually not totally out of control or breaking into the canter, which was nice. So then I had her canter away from home, just experimentally, and she then became VERY strong. I was literally standing up in the stirrups and hauling on her to get her to stop. So then we tried THAT again, and it went better, so then we went home.

When we did get home I decided to ride her a little in the indoor, so I could see what she looked like in the mirrors (bad idea). We were both tired by that point, so we basically just raced around with our nose stuck out looking terrible. BUT because we looked so bad, we got a free mini-lesson from the resident dressage trainer, because apparently he saw us and was like OMG NOT IN MY BARN. And I felt marginally better about ourselves, because it took like two minutes and some minimal adjustments and we were going nice and round and looking very nice. And I got some good tips to help us along, so it was probably worth it.

We had a very nice ride midweek. I worked her out in the front yard area and tried to work on the stuff that Jesse had me do in my mini-lesson, and it took a while, but eventually she got round and we finished up very well. We also did a bit of canter work, which went well. After we finished up we went on a trail ride, which was very fun. I tried a new loop, so I didn’t have to come back the way I came. After I was done I turned her out with the mares and watched her for a bit. I was so happy to see her out there enjoying herself. I just felt very positive that day.

Yesterday I went back out, and Sofie seemed to have enjoyed our ride also, as she looked up when she saw me, turned and waited for me to come get her. She seemed happy to see me, and I tacked her up leisurely while surreptitiously watching an upper-level lesson. I’d had a tough couple of days, and I was really looking forward to getting outside and riding. I mounted up, headed straight for the trails, aaaaaannnd, huge thunder happening, rain threatening, sky darkening. So I stayed in the front yard area for about 30 seconds until the rain started, and then I went to the indoor. It proceeded to pour rain and occasionally thunder was heard. So I had to ride inside, and Sofie was unnerved by the weather, so she was kind of inverted and all over the place. And while mirrors are a good training aid, they are also not kind to us.

I worked on lots of things. I worked on trying to get her to be round, which wasn’t happening. I worked on the canter, which really wasn’t happening. She just seems really nervous about cantering in the indoor, and all I can think is that the slightly deeper, soft footing makes her uneasy because she’s more used to hard footing. So she keeps rushing in the trot instead of just taking the canter nicely, which she’s never done before. And I HATE when horses rush into the canter. HATE IT. So it’s rather disheartening that we’ve lost our ability to do a nice canter depart. She’s had the same issue outside at this new place, but we’ve made some progress outside, and I actually have gotten her to do a nice soft depart. But the indoor…ugh.

So the canter was terrible. She wouldn’t stop rushing into it, and she leaned in horribly when she was cantering. And after the canter work I did, she was really anxious, and her head was way up, and she was just flying around, totally freaked out. So I had to get her to stop rushing, and I probably used more hand than I should have, so after a while she was just a total mess. It wasn’t entirely my fault, but I did screw up and make it worse. So I was kicking myself. I’m hoping we didn’t lose too much trust.

The only positive is that after totally screwing her up, I did manage to fix it, and I did it on my own, with no one helping me. I got her to relax and come round, in both directions pretty consistently. She started to seek the contact and move around without rushing. It wasn’t totally consistent, as I also had to work on other issues, like her falling off the rail and not listening to my leg telling her “over”. But I think we got some productive work done. I’m hoping I didn’t just make her hate me, at least. She never got mad at me, and she wasn’t lame, so I don’t think it was a total disaster. I wasn’t abusive, I was just not in the right frame of mind, and I could have done better. I’m hoping she will still be my friend. After I got off, I was just so tired. I don’t even know how long I rode in there, but probably more than an hour. The storm was over by then, and I went outside, mounted up and went on a trail ride, because that was all I really wanted to do. She seemed happy on the trail, and we had fun splashing through water, seeing new things, and making the geldings gallop around like crazy when we rode by them. Sofie never spooked.

I suppose I am learning. All the time. I guess it is good to push ourselves. I wanted to get us into shape, and the fact that we can stand up to a long ride is a good thing. I mostly did trot work, and I didn’t push the canter since it wasn’t working. I think we’ll be alright. The work is, or can be, a good thing. We should be able to bend and be round in both directions. There is no reason why we shouldn’t be able to go straight and not waver all over the place. We should even be able to canter well, eventually, if I do enough good trot work and build up her strength. I just have to be careful to stay positive with her. I have to stay out of that grim mindset, because I hate it. We should be able to sustain our relationship even while pursuing my training goals. That is the most important thing.

A Good Move

2011-08-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

Well, that went a LOT better than I expected!

We got to Judy's early enough so I could ride before Sofie's ride got there. Sofie was quite calmed by the heat and not entirely thrilled about going for a ride, but we did our thing and the exercise was probably good for my nerves. Right after we finished up I saw the trailer pull in, so I led her straight to the barn and untacked her while the ramp was lowered and paperwork was signed. Sofie was still nice and calm, and didn't seem to suspect anything of us. I was so nervous. I just don't "do" trailers. I've never gone to shows or anything like that, and I had a bad experience when we hauled a weanling who had a fit in the trailer and managed to split her forehead open. Sofie didn't have trailering issues, to my knowledge, but still, it had been a long time since she'd gone anywhere. And I knew she really liked it at Judy's so I didn't know if she'd willingly leave. And I worried my nerves were going to affect her. But this was something I really needed to prove to myself that I could do. So I led her up to the ramp and I walked up into the trailer. Sofie didn't follow me right up, but she didn't pull back or try to go off to the side, so I just waited for a minute, and then she walked right up the bouncy ramp without hesitation. I took her all the way into the trailer and the woman who was hauling for us closed the divider as I slipped out. Sofie got a little high-headed at that point, but she didn't seem too stressed. So we finished loading up all our gear, said goodbye to Judy and then we followed Sofie out of the drive. Sofie's best mare friend, Piper actually ran up to the fence and called to her as she left (Piper actually looked more upset than Sofie).

I was a little emotional during the drive to the new barn, but Sofie trailered well. We were fortunate to be able to find someone with a nice stock trailer, so she was able to be loose in the trailer, which seems to suit her. She moved about and looked around, actually putting her head down some of the time! When we got to the new barn and she started to smell the horses she became excited and the head came up. I started to not look especially forward to the unloading process, but Sofie was actually very good. She listened when she was told to wait, and she came out of the trailer calmly. She wasn't quite sure how to get back down the ramp (I'm not sure if she had ever even dealt with a ramp before), so she jumped down. After that I decided to lead her around, since she was actually not freaking out/spinning/dragging me around. So we went all over, checking out the round pen where she would spend her first few days, and looking at the minis, which were slightly alarming at first but then not so much. I showed her the barn, which was rather big and different but still to her liking. Then we went in the (freaking gorgeous) indoor arena to get our introduction to mirrors! And...apparently we don't care about mirrors!

We spent some time in the indoor, and then I took her back outside and we decided to try and give her a bath since she was all sweaty from the ride (both of them). We had only recently conquered the hose (we used to not stand for it), but I halted her and we turned on the hose. And she stood like a rock, totally fine, happy even. After a while I let her graze, and she was even happier doing that. I just couldn't believe she was actually standing. I thought for sure she would regress, at least temporarily. It was such a big change for her, and she handled it fantastically.

After she dried off I put her in the round pen, where she ate her hay, tried out her shelter, and once again was totally fine. I knew she had come a long way, and I knew we had a much better rapport than we had before. I just never expected her to just be okay. It was such a relief, and just...amazing.

The next day we went out again, and she was still doing just fine in her round pen. She seemed pleased to see me, and she did pretty well standing in the barn. She was not entirely stationary, wanting to look at things, but she was still nice and relaxed. I got her tacked up and we went for our first ride in the new place. I wasn't quite sure about the weather and I was a little nervous, so we started out in the (freaking gorgeous) indoor. She got a little nervous when she heard someone yelling at a misbehaving horse, but she did stand and I did manage to mount up without incident. We just walked around for a while, doing our extended, somewhat bobbly warmup. Then we took it up a trot and started cruising.

I. Love. That. Indoor. First of all, it's massive. 200 by 100 feet! There are actual mirrors, so I can actually see what I'm doing! And it's groomed, watered and actually maintained. It's amazing. LOVE. IT. And Sofie seemed to love it too. She was able to really open up, and we did our straight lines and generous, sweeping turns. She was inverted at first, but I didn't worry too much about it. I wasn't going to sweat it on her first ride in a new place. I just worked in some turns and lightly asked for flexion, then released. And when I released she really relaxed and lowered her head, and then pretty much stayed in a really nice, open frame the rest of the ride. I was able to see what she was doing in the mirrors (love the mirrors!) and she actually looked really pretty once she relaxed. She was really moving forward, just cruising along, and she was happy. She was actually dripping foam (without being pulled in or nagged, I was pretty much doing nothing with the reins once she lowered her head). We did a couple canters, which weren't too great as she kind of wanted to run into them. Not sure if she felt unsure in the footing or what, but I just kind of left it alone after that, and we'll work on it later. I was mostly happy about the nice trot work she was doing.

After a while I decided I really wanted to go on a trail ride, so I got off, tightened her girth and got my mom to hold the stirrup on the other side so I could mount from the ground. Then we headed out. She was very good about leaving the barn and going out on a new trail in a new place, maybe slightly hesitant, but she went along with my request. The only issue we had was a terrifying junk car in the woods. OMG we do NOT approve of junk cars in the woods. We stopped and stared, and thought about going backwards but then we were courageous and we went past it. We also do not approve of sheet metal in the woods, although we do not hate it as much as junk cars. Basically, we don't approve of garbage in the woods. At all. Someone should do something!

We just went on a short ride, as I didn't want to overdo. But there are soooo many nice trails. There's an especially inviting, wide, grassy trail that would be great for cantering...we are going to get in shape, that's for sure! We could ride all day here. I was just thrilled with how good she was. I mean, how many people go on a solo trail ride their first day at a new barn? But that's how we roll. I'm so happy with my horse, and I'm glad we chose this barn. I think we're going to have a lot of fun here.

Comeback

2011-07-31T13:16:00.001-07:00

After our promising start to summer, and our disappointing continuation, it seems that Sofie is coming back.

We’ve resumed cantering in our rides. At first, when I asked for the canter there were some fireworks. Early on Sofie was literally hopping mad, stomping her front feet into the ground, getting all angry and eventually plunging into the gait for just one stride before breaking back to a clumsy, still somewhat ouchy trot. I picked up a whip for the first time in a while, which helped when I needed a correction. What helped the most was not being afraid. If I can just keep riding, we can eventually get through anything.

It took several rides, but Sofie became more willing. Her soundness improved, and I knew we had gotten somewhere when we got through a ride with no bucking! She still has moments when she rushes and her ears go back, but overall she seems pretty content to work. I think we are both happy to be cantering again. To the left, she’s pitch perfect - she picks up the canter from my aid with no objection, and her departs are feather-light. She’s well balanced, and we’re working up to longer intervals. To the right, things are a little more rough. She’s showing some weakness on that side, and needs bending work (but not too much). Sometimes she gets upset about being asked to canter to the right, and she will not take the right lead. She’ll only give me the left lead, even when I’m just free schooling her in the indoor. I’ve been doing some canter work to the right, and pretty much ignoring the lead. At this point I think it is a soundness issue, and it requires a long-term fix. I don’t know if I will ever be able to fix it fully, especially if we continue on this cycle of lameness and recovery. It’s not ideal, but the most important thing is that we do what we can and have fun together. I can’t always canter her, so when I can I will, no matter if it’s not perfect.

We had our last ride at Judy’s on Saturday. It was hot already at ten in the morning, but the bugs were merciful as we rode out in the yard. She was nice and willing with only a few deviations, and we walked, trotted and cantered away.

I will miss Judy’s. Judy makes the place seem like home, and her home is always open to her boarders. I know there aren’t many places like that. It’s convenient, and it’s a nice place. It’s been good to us, and we’ve learned a lot there. Grown a lot there. Judy’s is where I became confident, where I began to stop limiting myself. Judy’s is where Sofie and I bonded. I will miss the barn, the nice, large turnout areas where Sofie is happy with her small mare herd. I will miss the yard (even the scary corner), the Big Field and the cozy tack room. I will miss a lot of things about that place, but there are a lot of good things about this new place, too. Maybe not the same things, but still. It remains to be seen if it will be better or worse. It will be different, I know. But the most important thing is Sofie, and this barn will enable me to better afford her. The facilities will make it easier to exercise her even when she is in a flare-up. She’ll have more turnout and we’ll have more opportunities for growth. I think it will be a good thing. It’s just a big change, and a little nerve-wracking.

We move tomorrow.

Changes

2011-07-26T11:39:00.000-07:00

Life continues along with the lack of updates. Summer rolls along, and the time that is gone has been productive in some ways and not in others. We’re still limping our way back to how it was in early June. That’s the hope.

We haven’t gotten there yet. We’ve had some good days, some good rides, and some bad, frustrating, painful days. I didn’t ask Sofie to canter for six weeks, and we did what we could. She got fat and I felt like we had lost everything I’d worked for. We did have our small accomplishments, like riding bareback successfully, in the indoor arena and even outside. Sofie didn’t seem to resent it like she had the only other time I’d tried it. I am a nervous bareback rider but she took care of me and I gained confidence. I rode bareback several times in a row in early July and had fun with it. Sofie and I dubiously enjoyed playing with the soccer ball until it got broken (not by us; Sofie is careful with her toys).

We had some bad rides, when occasionally I became frustrated or couldn’t get out of the dressage rider perfectionist mindset. When I failed to account for lameness and did too much bending work. The crabbiness resurfaced, worse than it had been in a long time. Months. It was disheartening.

Riding a horse with arthritis that flares up is not necessarily fun. It does provide opportunities for learning. I learned that sometimes it takes a while for her to warm up, and she warms up best if we just go on a trail ride. I learned that neither of us is happy in the long run if I get sucked into a grim, overly critical training mindset with no rewards, only scrutiny.

Training is a balance. It is absolutely a balance, and it is easy to screw up that balance. In the beginning I didn’t ask much of her, for a long time. We were getting to know each other, and she was healing. I was a little too soft, a little too passive. I became intimidated. It took a while to get over that. To take charge.

This year I feel we’ve really gotten somewhere, both in our relationship and in our training. We know each other well, and it feels easy between us. I can deal with her, and she really tries for me. But I still haven’t always found the balance. I’ve been all correction and no reward. At times I’ve been snippy and hypercritical. Recently I feel like I found the balance, although there will always be deviations from it.

Sofie does need corrections. She does need training. She needs to move as correctly as possible and develop both sides of her body. Sometimes I do need to be firm with her. I can correct her when I need to, but I also need to reward. An enthusiastic reward when she does something right, when she answers my correction, is so important. It really helps, especially when she’s cranky. It helps both of our moods.

I didn’t buy Sofie because I wanted to compete, I wanted to learn and I wanted to build a relationship. I bought the right horse. This summer has been frustrating and a bit discouraging, but I’m not ready to move on. There is that possibility in my mind, the possibility that she might never be sound and keep getting lamer, but for now we are still moving forward. We owe it to ourselves to keep going and explore new situations. Have new experiences.

At the end of the month Sofie will be moving. We have been so happy at Judy’s barn. We’ve grown a lot here and done a lot of things. But between unfortunate financial realities, and the realization that I don’t think we can continue to grow here, we made the decision to move Sofie. It was a difficult decision, because I know how happy Sofie is here and I know how much she loves her little mare herd. But it wasn’t feasible anymore.

We will be moving to one of the fancy barns in the area. The Land Of Dressage Queens, as I’ve referred to it here before. I knew and liked it mostly for the huge indoor arena, with mirrors and nice footing that is well maintained. I’ll still be able to ride year-round, which is very important to me. I’ll also have far more space to work in, and more opportunity for straight line work.

Sofie will be outside 24 hours a day, which I’m very happy about. I know Sofie will be unhappy for a while, at least until she adjusts to it. She likes her stall. A lot. But it’s better for her to be outside, and everything I’ve read says that more turnout helps with arthritis. There is plenty of shelter, and pasture board is more affordable than stall board.

Unless she doesn’t get along with the herd, she’ll be in with the “fat mare group”, a herd of seven or so mares who are easy keepers. None of them are overly large, and I’m hoping she’ll find a friend. The field is nice and big, with sparse grass. All the mares look in good weight and appear happy.

One thing I had not seen firsthand was the trail system. O.M.G. I went on a hike with a boarder who showed me some of the trails. From the first ten feet, I was sold. Groomed trails with nice footing, mostly flat with some hills, through all kinds of woods. All on-site. They go on for miles. I cannot wait to ride them with Sofie. I think she’ll love them. And we need more trails, especially for the times when she can’t do dressage. Then we can just ride. She can go straight, no turning, and be outside. It’s going to be wonderful.

I also enjoy myself at this barn. I get along with the people there, and it’s nice to talk to people about horses. There are dressage riders there, as well as people who just trail ride, and everyone I’ve talked to has been extremely welcoming. It will be nice to have people to ride with. It remains to be seen how we’ll settle in, but I think it’ll be a good fit.

June, Interrupted

2011-06-30T07:07:00.000-07:00

After our splendid beginning of the month, June became rather unproductive on the Sofie front. Perhaps due to all the cantering and good work we did, Sofie wound up having a flare-up. She wasn't miserable or anything, but she was ouchy and it became clear that she needed some time off. So she had two weeks off, with just ground work, and improved somewhat. I rode again on Sunday, and she was really quite good. We mostly walked but we did some trotting and even a little bending work near the end. She paid attention very well despite a rousing game of horseshoes happening in the neighbor's yard (so random guys were wandering around, and occasionally there was a nice resounding CLANK and then an "Oh, SNAP!" or something to that effect). I figured she would be weird about it, but at least we'd be able to practice working with distractions. But she was pretty much unbothered by it. We finished up the ride working on bending both ways at a trot, with our nose actually NOT stuck waaay out, and she focused really well even when we rode right by the distracting yard. What a good girl.

She's still ouchy, so last ride we pretty much just walked. It was a windy, slightly weird day, but she was totally happy to walk around. We did some hills, she had energy in her walk, she was relaxed, and she even listened to my hands. For the most part she reached into the contact, so we had a nice elastic feel going. I did test her in the trot, both directions, but she most definitely did not want to trot and was very hesitant and slightly upset, so once she trotted a few steps I had her walk again, and went "Okay, we'll just walk for now, then." I know that was her communicating something, as there was no earthly reason for her to be going around perfectly happily and then not want to trot unless she was in some pain. So, if we need to, we'll just walk for now, since at least we can get something productive done at the walk, and get her exercised.

After that I did ride her on the road, and she was not terribly good but we managed. The wind, which had been NBD in the yard, was OMG all of a sudden. But we practiced being nervous and just going forward anyway, and not acting dangerously, and it worked out. Near the end, when I was about to turn her around, she suddenly noticed a terrifying real or imagined Something, and stopped and stared. Then she backed up, like "No, I cannot go near that real or imagined Something." So I was all grrrr, since I just wanted to turn around and now I had to get her over this before I could turn around. It was kind of a tense moment, so I had her step forward, and then I carefully turned her around, letting her know in no uncertain terms that she was not to take off (there's always that danger when a terrifying real or imagined Something is behind you). Fortunately she did not take off or do anything too stupid on the way home, although when we were about ten feet from the barn driveway she suddenly decided to be all OMG. So I kept her going across the driveway and slightly down the other side of the road, then stopped and dismounted with her right by the road. Then I ran up my stirrups and made her stand and NOT throw her head into my space or step towards me. When we had success we went back to the barn.

In other news, while our rides may not be super high octane right now, we are excelling in other areas of work. A boarder bought a biiiiig soccer ball for their horse to play with, and they left it at the barn for other people to use as well. I was interested to see what Sofie thought of it, and the only time she spooked at it was when she first saw it (I led her out of the barn, turned a corner, and there was the guy blowing it up. She jumped. Rather dramatically.). When we got our turn to play with it Sofie was mildly interested and nibbled on it a little, but she did not understand the concept of playing soccer. When I led her up to the ball she would deftly swerve it, like "Are you honestly TRYING to run me into this big-ass ball? Are you nuts?" The only way I could get her to kick it on was to hold her lead right by her halter and just walk her into it. So we weren't all that good at soccer, although it was fun to mess around with it.

But I got the bright idea to try some other stuff, basically to see what she would tolerate. So I dropped her lead on the ground, made her stay, and bounced the ball on the ground next to her. No reaction. I bounced the ball lightly off her side. Didn't care. So then I went "Hey, let's REALLY test this," and I lifted the ball up over my head. She kind of looked at me with slight nervousness and suspicion (probably thinking I was up to no good and/or losing my mind) and I set the ball on her back. Her head came up, and she was still looking at me strangely, but she did not move her feet. I rolled the ball back and forth and then let it roll off her rump, and she stood through all of that. So I did it on the other side, too, with similar success. Then the other day I had her stand, and I picked up the ball, climbed on the three-step mounting block, and did the same thing. I'm sure she thinks I'm nuts, but she obviously trusts me enough to go along with it. Which is all good.

A Perfect Ride

2011-06-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

Last week we rode in the gelding field for the first time this year. I love riding in that field and Sofie seems to love it too. It was a hot, buggy day, so much so that the horses were brought in early. I didn’t even know if I would ride, but then the air cooled off. When I got to the barn the temperature had dropped and although the flies were still out in abundance, it was definitely riding weather.

I pulled Sofie from her stall and brushed her, then free schooled her for a bit so she wouldn’t be quite as fresh when we headed out to the field. She was a bit fidgety in the aisle because of all the flies, but she managed to stay in “park” relatively well while I got us ready. Then we went to the indoor, where I opened the gate to the field and mounted up. We went straight out from there.

Sofie brightened up and was looking around as we headed out of the run-in shed and into the field. She was drifting around, wanting to see everything, but she was totally calm. I walked her around the edge of the entire field to warm up and check the footing. One low-lying area was muddy but the rest of the field was in great shape. After our walk-around period I asked Sofie to trot. She went forward willingly, with energy but no craziness. She didn’t start drifting or getting strong. When I asked her to walk she made the transition nicely. I was already very pleased with how things were going.

I trotted her to the far end of the field where I asked her to canter along the fence line. She went right into it quite eagerly, no resentment. She did take the left lead where the right one was called for, of course, but we were going straight so I wasn’t worried about it. She cantered pretty fast (for her) but nicely balanced and she came back to a trot before the corner when I asked. I turned her around and cantered her the other way and she was excellent. She didn’t veer off toward the barn or worry about the woods outside of the fence. She just went.

We went all over the field, and she did everything right. We went down the “bad” fence line and she stayed much straighter. Then we turned around and I asked her to canter facing the barn, which she was quite happy to do, of course. She really flew, but I never felt like I was out of control and she came back to the trot easily. I walked her past the barn and decided to canter her away from the barn. This was a definite test, since I was going to ask for the canter in an area where she’d been really sticky and resistant in the past (Sofie has her “I want to CANTER now!” places as her “You want me to trot? How DARE you!” places).

I got her trotting without an issue, and I just thought about asking for the canter when she went into it. She cantered beautifully, straight ahead, and she kept going when I asked. It was so exhilarating to be able to just have her canter wherever, no restrictions. No limitations. It’s such a basic thing, but for quite a while I have limited myself in various ways, and Sofie has helped me lose my limitations.

After that last canter I patted her a bunch and then tried one more experiment. I started her trotting toward the barn, with minimal rein contact, and then I applied my seat. She went back to the walk with just seat aids. I was thrilled. I gave her a long rein and rode for just a few more minutes. We went past the barn without drifting too obnoxiously, did an awesome rein-back and one more trot transition and then we were done.

It was one of those rides that shows me how lucky I am. Everything came together for us that evening. The field was free, and the weather changed from hot to cool, with the finest mist in the air. Sofie did everything I asked, and we felt like a team. We were both happy, and everything was smooth, easy and wonderful. We’ve worked so hard to get to this point, and it is so rewarding when things work out like that.

I could really feel our recent progress in that ride. Our field outings were always fun, but they were usually a bit of a wild ride, with Sofie taking off in canter, zipping around and getting strong. She sometimes reminded me of a racehorse. I kind of enjoyed her craziness, but there’s something wonderful about controlled energy. I could keep her in the trot with half halts, just by bracing my back and controlling my posting when she started to speed up. She drifted less, and there was much less of a magnetic pull toward the barn. She had energy, but it was controllable. She let me direct her. There was no irritability, no swishing or balking, no head flinging or other resistance. She never once cantered without my asking. For us, it was a perfect ride. Even though it’s not always like that, I could not be happier with my horse. I love my Sofa.

Riding Photos

2011-06-10T12:07:00.000-07:00

Showing off our bending.

An "interesting" moment...I think she is preparing to do a canter depart here. This is how she elevates her front end. ;) But look at that engagement!

Inviting her to stretch down.

Nice "open" frame with nose stuck out!

I like this picture. Nice bend, the angle almost makes it look like she's in half pass!

Cute pony counter canter!

I absolutely love how she looks here. She's never been that round in the canter!

Nice straight line from bit to elbow...and nice fetlock hair.

Yes, we're still on the wrong lead.

And we're off!!

Full Speed Ahead

2011-06-08T12:11:00.001-07:00

May was a hard month for a while there. The weather shifted constantly from hot to wet to cold and never really segued into summer. We dealt with a couple potential flare-ups that fortunately didn’t require too much time off. And there were a couple really bad rides when Sofie was unable to bend or do what I wanted and I was unfair to her. I somehow lost sight of everything I’d learned, and I overcorrected with my hands and tried to correct everything at once. I wasn’t kind to her, and I felt sick about it afterward. The next time I saw her she was lame, which made me feel awful. I had hoped that I was the only one still feeling the consequences of my actions, but she was too, and that really wasn’t fair. It’s fine to be ambitious and try to improve my horse, but training is only beneficial if I pay attention to how she’s feeling and respect her when she tells me she can’t. I lost sight of that for two rides, and she paid for it. There wasn’t anything I could do but give her a massage, cry into her neck for a while and do better in the future.

Thankfully I did start to do better. I limited sugar in my diet, which helped me level out and not be such a psycho bitch to the ones I love. Sofie’s lameness went away quickly and within a few days she was rideable again. I started out with some light rides, just going down the road one day and then starting to work in the yard again. She responded to light rein aids and didn’t get worried. She forgave me and trusted me. Our bond didn’t fracture; it held. One day I went out to the mare’s turnout area and Sofie was lying in a sandpit. I had to put a fly mask on one of the other mares so I went to do that. In minute or two Sofie came hurrying over. She stopped and pivoted to face me, making sure I didn’t take the wrong horse. It’s so cute when she lets on that she likes me. She’s been walking toward me more often than not when I go to catch her, and I love it.

Our rides have been awesome. She may look a bit off when I free school her, and she may start out feeling a little stiff or slow but she has been doing everything I ask. I haven’t been carrying a whip as she seems to anticipate and get chargey when I have one. She’s been listening extremely well it. I’ve really stepped up and am giving her more confident direction, and she’s paying attention. I don’t always have flexion or bend, but if she’s steady and I have a connection with her mouth I don’t worry about it. We’ve been emphasizing “forward” lately.

The most exciting thing is that I have a canter cue. I have half halts. Basically, I have so much more control than I used to. I can now trot her through all the places she used to like to canter in, and I can keep her from charging or taking off. She still picks up the canter on her own sometimes, maybe once every other ride or so, but the majority of our canters are my decision. The last three rides she cantered from my leg alone, no whip, without bucking. She will canter away from the barn, straight and forward, and I can’t even describe how awesome that is. I’ve always loved cantering her, and I feel like all our work is coming together. It’s exciting. I’m not afraid anymore. I’m not afraid to go fast, I’m not afraid of her reactions, I’m not afraid to take charge. I’m not afraid, and she’s not crazy. It feels like we are working together now.

I have been mostly riding in the yard, but I did ride down the road one day the “other” way. We had only been that way once before and Sofie was very relaxed. She only got a little nervous at the very end (we hadn’t gone that far the previous time).

We still have a lot to learn and work toward, which is exciting in a way. I’m trying to learn turn on the haunches (or at least some version of it). I want to continue our road work. Each ride I work on eliminating her drifting, and our bending always needs work. I haven’t been able to get her to pick up the canter on a bend yet, or canter a full circle. And the right lead remains elusive for us. I haven’t really worked on it yet as I think she needs to be fitter (and very sound) before I attempt to correct it, as I think it will take quite a few canter departs for us to get it right. As it is, she’s very adept at counter canter, and I don’t really mind. She prefers to take the left lead both ways when free schooling also. I did get her to take the right lead once while free schooling recently, and I also got her to change onto it twice. I also might have gotten her to change onto it while riding, but I’m not sure. I will need eyes on the ground when I do attempt to correct her lead preference issue.

There will always be improvements to be made, but we’ve both come a really long way and I’m really proud of that. I’m happy.

Road Work Ahead

2011-05-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

Continuing my plan to make road riding a smaller deal, I rode Sofie out late in the afternoon last week. The weather was being mildly threatening so I walked her a tiny bit in the yard and then went past the mailbox and onto the road. She seemed quite calm, so I figured we could get right to it before possibly being rained on.

There was no activity on the road, and we were both pretty relaxed and nonchalant. We got to the end of the road with no issues, and I decided to push it a little and take the next step on our road work improvement plan. I kept her going and turned onto the next road, which is just a short, straight road before the highway. I had avoided it because the shoulder looked pretty much nonexistent, and I don’t like the sensation of riding on pavement. It’s just a less inviting road than the one we usually ride on. But I was ready to try it.

I discovered, pleasantly enough, that the shoulder was actually sufficient enough to ride on (it helps that Sofie’s base narrow). We didn’t really have wiggle room, but at least we weren’t on pavement. I could tell that Sofie was nervous, but she was really being good for me.

We got a good way down the road before she started to get really edgy. It wasn’t so much being within sight of the highway that bothered her (she gave it a look, but it didn’t stop her in her tracks or anything). The houses are closer together (and closer to the road) on this road, and I think that was a little intimidating for her. She started giving the houses a hard look, and then she went into her “stop and stare” routine. I got her to go forward a little at a time, but she was really rigid and preoccupied with something ahead. I realized there were two kids playing in their yard (throwing a Frisbee and shrieking). Sofie doesn’t really approve of kids, and she definitely does not approve of people in yards (that’s our main issue, not traffic or anything). So I sat there on her, trying to figure out the best way to handle this. I decided not to try to get her past the house with the kids (possibly leading to a major freakout), so, satisfied that she had at least paid attention to me and gone further than she wanted to, I carefully turned her around. Of course, she immediately got really anxious and tried to rush home, so I had to pull quite a bit on the outside rein to keep her from taking off. It was a little tense getting back down that road, but fortunately she did listen to my (shall we say “pronounced”) rein aids and she did not go faster than a jiggy trot/walk. I released when I could but I had to hold her back most of the way. Fortunately she’s gotten more comfortable with contact and I can actually hold her back when I need to without her getting angry.

Once we turned onto our road, she was fine, and I let out the reins and patted her a lot. We made it back and did a little sitting trot in the yard, then quit for the night. I’m proud of us for being able to go further and cope with scary eeeevil playing children (well, I’m not sure how well she coped, but she didn’t kill me so WIN!) and while we are definitely NOT ready to ride down the highway or anything, I think we’ll continue working on this.

The next time I went out it was raining, the yard was squishy, and I figured I had already made enough divots in the barn owner’s yard (as evidenced by her super tactful, way-too-nice hints to that effect). So, back to the indoor it was. Blargh. I was really not thrilled to have to put us back in the box, but it turned out to be a good opportunity to figure some stuff out. Sometimes arena rides are good for that.

Sofie was on a bit of a tear that day and even though I free schooled her she still had too much energy. As a result she wasn’t into flexing, and when I tried to move her off my leg she just went faster. I felt like I was fighting with her, and it seemed like we had absolutely nothing. The only good thing was that she picked up the canter with minimal resentment. I was getting myself into a bad place mentally when my mom showed up. I complained that I couldn’t get her to move off my leg, and she commented that I should try it in walk first. Then she left, and after I thought about it for a minute I brought Sofie down to a walk and tried to teach her how to leg yield. She got it in no time and was moving off my leg in both directions, no problem. I was delighted to have moved past negativity and actually achieved something. By the end of the ride I’d gotten Sofie to move off my leg in all three gaits.

Next time we rode the ground was still a bit too soft, and although the sun was out, the wind was brutal, so we returned to the indoor. I felt like I had been overusing my hands a bit, so I decided to keep my hands quiet and communicate more with leg aids. Sofie, being a smart mare, had really figured out the leg yielding thing, so instead of trying to mess with flexion I just turned her with leg aids and let my hands stay quiet. She did really well with this, and I worked on using leg for turning as well as moving over (both onto and off the rail). I was actually able to move her all the way from the centerline to the rail. I don’t know if we were doing a correct leg yield at any point, but I think there was some crossing over. She wasn’t quite straight, but she lead with her front end, which I think is fairly acceptable at this stage.

At the trot she was quite soft and relaxed, and moved off my leg when I asked her to. She went along in a nice, long frame, and she pretty much went to the contact. I didn’t do any canter work, I just focused on softness and leg yielding. I also was able to ride without stirrups the entire 45 minutes which pleased me. It was just a very nice, relaxed, satisfying ride.

When we ventured back out into the yard I tried to retain some of that feeling, and mainly use my legs for steering. Sofie was more inverted outside, but she wasn’t too bad. I didn’t have to use my hands overly much, and she listened well to my leg which really helped keep her drifting in check. She felt pretty straight much of the time. She seemed in a good mood that day and I really enjoyed our ride.

I asked her to canter several times, and she listened great, only needing a touch of whip once. She only bucked once and her attitude was greatly improved. She was quite responsive and willing. It was so nice! It’s great to have the confidence to ask for the canter, and she’s finally starting to let go of her bad attitude.

I had thought about chickening out and not going on the road, but when I was done in the yard I decided to ride down the road after all. But I turned right at the end of the driveway instead of left, which is the way I usually go. I thought it would be good practice to ride her in a place she’d never seen before, and I wanted to try something new. Sofie was a little apprehensive once we left the border of the yard behind and she had a brief startle (which really helped me stay calm) but we got past the first house without incident (that’s another reason I hadn’t gone that way before…another boarder had a bad experience when she rode past that house and a dog started barking and jumping against the door, but the dog didn’t make a peep when we rode past). She was really good as we went further, although I could tell she was a little like “This isn’t where we ride. Are you sure about this?”

The road wasn’t too bad to ride on, and the shoulder was decent. We went a good ways down before I elected to turn around. I could hear guys working on a car up ahead and they weren’t easily visible due to thick tree growth. What with Sofie’s propensity to wig out at people in yards, I didn’t feel like riding her through a freakout on our first time down that part of the road. In the future I know I will have to deal, but I want to get a little more road mileage first.

The ride back was uneventful. Once back in the yard I congratulated us on another accomplishment. All the variety made those rides very fulfilling and I’m glad we’ve been able to expand our trails. I hope to keep doing so. It makes our time together much more interesting, and “interesting” is kind of our thing.

Things That Prevent Me From Blogging

2011-05-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

I have been critically short on time for a while now, and my blogging has declined due to many commitments and distractions (some pictured above). What writing time I have has been devoted to my novel lately, as ideas are flowing and my brain has unlocked, leading to real progress on that front.

Sofie is fine. She is a source of comfort and enjoyment, always there when I need her. Whether she gives me sweetness or attitude I enjoy her company.

Her hematoma remained for so long that we had the vet out to lance it, but on the day he came out it had finally started to go down on its own (what timing). I guess she didn’t want him to have to poke a hole in her. It’s gone away completely now.

After close to five months of uninterrupted riding, Sofie started to look stiff in her hocks. She was having a harder time under saddle and looked uncomfortable when she trotted, so I decided to give her some time off. I hand walked her outside and incorporated groundwork, which we needed a bit of a refresher on. I didn’t mind the downtime and she stayed cheerful throughout. It wasn’t a bad flare-up; after only a little over a week I went out to catch her and she was in a mood. She turned her butt to me, so I smacked her with the halter and she proceeded to walk all the way to the end of the field. When I caught up to her she still didn’t want to be caught, so I started moving her around. She cantered with no issues, and even whipped around (at a canter) and nailed one of her mare friends in the side. Clearly she was mad that I kept pursuing her and decided to take it out on Jessie. I decided that if she could do all that she could definitely handle being ridden!

I was able to ride three times last week. Our bending skills are a little rusty but overall we’re not doing too badly. The first day I rode Sofie had lots of energy. I started out in the indoor for a few minutes as she seemed a little spazzy, and she was pretty inverted in the walk. When we started trotting she felt pretty nice, and she popped into a nice little canter (tracking right, too) all on her own. So I asked her to canter once, and she did it with her usual complaints (a little bouncing around and rrrrrr). She really wanted to go outside, and kept drifting toward the open gate as if magnetically drawn. I was not at all convinced we weren’t about to have an “interesting” ride, but I wasn’t about to stay inside any longer so we headed out. Sofie was quite good outside, even with her energy and enthusiasm. She seemed happy to be out, and apart from quite a few unplanned canters, she listened well. I was pleased that she never got really strong, and even when she went into the canter, I never felt like she was running off. We finished up the ride by going down the trail, where I included some trot work. She picked up the canter once, and when she broke to a trot I asked her to canter again. She went into it with no issues. It was definitely not a “polished” ride, but I had a lot of fun with it and I think Sofie did too.

The next day I returned to see how she was doing. Sofie was slightly off, nothing major, so I rode again. I think she was a little sore, as she was grumpy about trotting, so we did mostly walk work. We didn’t accomplish anything exceptional, but she got exercised, I got to ride, and we got to practice working with distractions. The barn owner was working on loading her horse, which makes Sofie anxious. I rode her within sight of the trailer and worked on turns to keep her more focused. Sofie tensed up a few times but she stayed with me.

The next time I rode the barn owner wound up loading her horse again, and Sofie was a little spazzed out about it. We actually had a couple spooks, and she was on edge for most of the ride. So we had a few unplanned canters, but we held it together pretty well.

After working in the yard for a while I decided to try riding down the road. I had been really nervous about riding on the road, and I’d been waiting for the perfect time when Sofie was calm, there were no foreseeable distractions, and it was 90 degrees, but I just decided to go for it. Our first road ride of the year went very well. It was a Saturday, so people were home and dogs were out, but we had no mishaps. There was a man watering his lawn by the first house we passed, and I knew Sofie has a thing about water spraying (at least, she doesn’t like oscillating sprinklers and you can’t bathe her with the hose). I was not ready to deal with her potentially being stupid, so I asked her to counterbend so she was looking the other way. I was dubious that it would work, but it totally did, so that was nice. The man with the hose also noticed us and told his dog to stay, which was nice also. We only went to the second house and then I turned around, figuring it was a good start. On the way back I let her look at the man with the hose, and she didn’t even care. I guess ten foot stream of water = okay, spinning water that makes a ch ch ch sound = not okay. Hmm.

Today I got to the barn at around 11, and I only had about and hour and a half before I had to get somewhere else. I really wanted to ride, so to save time I just brought her in, gave her a quick brushing, cleaned her feet and then tacked her up. I did not free school, and I fully expected her to be a leetle crazy but figured I’d just deal. Sofie looked really thrilled to be getting ready to ride again, but I didn’t take her overwhelmingly “meh” demeanor personally.

My prediction of high energy levels turned out to be right on. She was pretty full of it! She was not listening terribly well to rein aids and her walk was quite forward, almost a little rushy at times. I tried to work on softening her up but I wasn’t really getting anywhere, so I started my trot work to try and let some energy out. I first asked for the trot in one of her “grumpy places” in the yard, and when she gave me attitude I tapped her with the whip, which prompted her to pick up the canter. She did that twice in succession. I didn’t really mind, because her canter was nice, she didn’t buck, and at least she picked it up in response to something I did, instead of just because she felt like it. Progress!

After that we bombed around for a while, not listening too well but not being completely out of control or anything. She took off a few times (at a quickish canter, which is about as fast as a Sofa goes) but I didn’t fear for my life, and what’s really nice is even when I was having to pull on her, she didn’t get mad and fling her head or kick out like she used to. I had to do a fair amount of hand riding, which I don’t love having to do, but it’s nice that she’s able to tolerate that now. I used to just kind of let her go and then softly bring her back, and now I can actually hold her back somewhat. She did listen to my half halts really well at least some of the time (she did a lot of breaking into the trot, and I was able to bring her back with just seat a few times), so although it was a bit of a wild ride, we did have good moments. And I’m not afraid of her anymore, which just makes things so much easier.

I had hoped to ask her for the canter outside, and I did do that. I asked her to pick up the canter heading away from the barn, and I reinforced with a tap right away when she started to give me attitude. She picked it up pretty nicely, with just a couple bucks, and she maintained it well. I still need to work on confirming the canter (I still need to work on a LOT), but it’s a start! I’m looking forward to doing more canter work this year on my terms!

After all that I knew I needed to get her to calm down a little. I worked on just walking for a bit, but she still had too much energy. She wasn’t really bending either, so I decided to try and do some trot circles. I started out tracking right and Sofie quickly remembered how to bend and lower her head. She even did a pretty good job of not falling in, and she was so nice and relaxed! It’s nice to know she still has it in her. Our left circle was pretty rough at first (she was thinking about cantering) but eventually I got at least a partial circle that was round and properly bent.

With that accomplished I briefly debated whether I should ride down the road again. I wanted to, but I figured I would need to have a death wish to do it when Sofie was so high-energy. But it was Monday morning, so there would be no distractions at least…in the end I just went for it. Sofie was very good. She thought about being stupid a few times (the worst being at the beginning of the road ride, and it was fairly minor) but she stayed nice and straight throughout most of the ride and she cooperated very well with my wishes. She was really amazingly good considering how snazzy and wired she had been in the yard. She was actually quite relaxed on the road at times! I pushed us both and went all the way down the road. Sofie got a bit wiggly towards the end but didn’t pull anything obnoxious. I was really proud of us both.

I didn’t make it a goal because I wasn’t sure if I was up to it, but I’d like to get us more comfortable on the road this year. Sofie is pretty good on the road (she’s never done anything really drastic that I couldn’t handle, even when something really got to her) but she’s not what I’d consider super reliable. I also need to expand my confidence, because I’d really like to expand our trail options. And I’ve realized that if I want her to be better on the road, I need to try and ride her there every time, until it’s no big deal. One road ride every few weeks isn’t going to make her more reliable. So I went down the road these last two times to prove to myself that I could. And every time I’m able to ride Sofie when she’s spazzy or energetic or whatever, I build confidence that I can handle whatever happens. I’ve come a really long way, and while we still have a lot of work to do, I’m confident that we are headed a good way.

Riding, bonding, hematoma

2011-04-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

Wow. It's been crazy busy for me, and I have little hope that will change. Last weekend I was out of town at a model horse show (it went awesome) and now I'm kind of catching up on all the stuff that didn't get done while I *gasp* went away for THREE WHOLE DAYS.

I just have time for a quick update today. I feel bad that I haven't been updating this blog at all; I've just been pulled in different directions. Basically, all is well with the Sofa. Quite good, in fact. My rides have been somewhat infrequent, and I've been doing lighter rides as she's still off in her front end, but we've been getting outside and enjoying ourselves. We got some snow again, so we rode in the snow last time. I haven't been doing much in the way of dressage, just a little work on flexion and submission.

I feel like she has really matured in our under saddle work. She's just listening so much better, and we really have a dialogue going much of the time. It's very nice to feel like I've made an improvement happen.

The vet came out to do shots a week ago and he examined her weird chest swelling and drew fluid. I wasn't able to be there when he came out, but I talked with him the following day. According to him, it was a hematoma due to some sort of trauma. I told him about how she ran into the barn wall like two years ago, and he said this was a new injury (really, Sofa?). He showed me the fluid that is in there (it looks like watered down blood, basically) and said that it should heal up on its own, but if it got bigger he would need to lance it. I asked him what we should do if it stayed the same size (since it had been relatively the same size for two weeks) and he said if it didn't go down in a week to have him out to do something about it. It didn't go down, and we asked him to come out when he was out of farm calls, which was yesterday. I wasn't able to be there again, but apparently he said it was healing fine and didn't need to be cut open. Maybe it went down, or something. I haven't seen her (or it) since Monday, so I will be interested to see what it looks like now.

Recently Sofie's been quite the love, which is somewhat surprising but really nice. She looks happy to see me and be around me, and she's just been a total sweetheart. I recently discovered that she will follow me around the arena. She will walk and trot right with me, which is absolutely adorable (and probably somewhat unsafe, but who cares). She just sticks right by me and does whatever I do. It's really sweet. The only issues are my not being in shape (a little trotting and I'm about ready to die) and one night when I played with her and then brought her into the aisle, she was so into following me that she lost her ability to "stay". So when I went behind her to get something, she turned right around to stay with me. We had to work a little on "staying" again after that. She's really smart, and I think if I don't overdo the following, she'll retain her ability to stay. I must balance all her many talents!

I had the opportunity to hang with her in her stall, and she seemed really content. I hadn't seen her in her stall this year when she wasn't having a bad heat cycle, so it was nice to see that she's still happy when she's confined. She just seems really happy right now. I'm not sure why, but I'm happy that she's happy.

Mystery Lump, Relaxed Rides

2011-04-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

We rode outside again on Saturday, another nice day. I didn’t free school since Sofie was chill, and I didn’t wind up regretting that move. The people across the street were having roofing materials or something delivered, so there was truck activity and other interesting things happening. I walked Sofie around a little and showed her what was going on, but she didn’t care and actually refused to even look at the commotion. Typically, the bigger the thing, the less it bothers her. She’s far more likely to spook at “little” things, like a person gardening in their yard,, or disembodied hoofies under a door in the indoor (eep!).

She was moving fine, but I chose not to work on the canter since I still don’t have access to sufficient dry areas in the yard yet. There are still isolated squishy places, so my real work areas are somewhat limited. It’s still better than the indoor, though.

Since the ground conditions weren’t conducive to canter work, I decided to do slower work and focus on relaxation instead. We had a good ride, and other than one unauthorized canter, she listened very well. I felt like we had a nice connection for the most part, and she stayed relaxed without over thinking things. It was nice to have relaxation out in the yard, and just work on simple, slower concepts. She totally ignored the activity across the street and was quite mellow. It was very nice indeed.

After the ride was over, during our customary Sofa massage I discovered a lump under her chest, down in between her front legs. It was just a firm swelling, about the width and length of my hand or maybe a little larger. It wasn’t hot, it wasn’t hairless and it was not painful. Believe me, I poked and prodded and squeezed that thing to see if it was painful, and I got no reaction. I was somewhat mystified as to what it could be, and I even checked out the other mares’ chest areas to make sure this wasn’t just a normal part of chest musculature that I had somehow never noticed before. The other mares were smooth and flat in that area, so Sofa definitely had something weird going on.

I notified the barn owner about the mystery swelling and returned on Monday, anxious to see if the swelling had gotten any bigger. I was concerned about it enlarging and potentially interfering with her ability to move. I could see the lump when I walked up to her, and at first glance it appeared to be taking over her chest a bit, but it turned out to be the way she was standing. The edema was the same size it had been and it still wasn’t bothering her, thankfully.

It was a damp day and the footing was slick outside, so we were confined to the indoor. I free schooled Sofie before the ride and she burned off some energy, cantering and doing her Arab Trot. She was actually rather spooky, so I picked up my stirrups at the beginning of the ride. Of course, once I was on her back she relaxed and went to work just fine (I think her “spookiness” was just her blowing off some steam). I got involved, though, and never thought to drop my stirrups. Ah well.

She didn’t anticipate the trot when I picked up the reins, and once I asked for the trot, she moved out very forward early on in the ride. She felt happy and free, and it was fun to feel that energy in the stagnant indoor. She was bobbling pretty noticeably to the left (not surprising, considering the dampness factor) and falling in a bit to the left as well. She did have a couple sticky moments when I asked her to transition to the trot on a serpentine, facing the arena wall. She did pick up the trot, she just got a little cranky and reluctant. Something to work on, I suppose. I worked in some halts and did a couple spins on the forehand. Turns out, we can do those on a loose rein now…

Sofie did break to the trot a few times, but she paid attention very well through the beginning and end of the ride. We didn’t do anything too amazing, but I enjoyed myself and we both got our exercise.

I didn’t get out again ‘til Thursday, and I found her edema unchanged. We’re almost certain it’s fluid buildup. I’m not sure what it’s from, but it doesn’t seem like an abscess, and definitely not a tumor, which is good. The vet is coming to do shots on the 13th, so we’ll have him look at it then, if it’s still there. For now it doesn’t seem to be bothering her, and I’m willing to bet it’s just another weird Sofa thing.

Sofie’s been in a pretty good mood as of late. She’s been content in the aisle, her appetite has been good (she’s back on a half dose of her senior ultra mega joint supplement with no apparent stomach irritation), and she’s been a good mare. The last time I went to catch her she walked a short distance away from me, so I went to pet one of the other mares. That did not sit well with Sofa, and she stared at me the entire time. When I went back to her she didn’t move away again.

For this latest ride we returned to the outside, determined not to be stuck in the indoor. I am SO ready for the yard to dry out. Right now the areas that are really rideable are somewhat limited, and every time we ride out there we wind up making holes. I’m hoping they’ll go down as the ground hardens, otherwise I’ll have to go fill them in…

Sofie wasn’t bobbling very much, but we stuck to slower speeds in deference to the ground conditions. It’s good for us to do slower work out there, since one of the things we needed to work on was not rushing and listening to me. I think we’re doing very well with that.

I hadn’t free schooled and Sofie seemed a little energetic, so we hit the trail during our warm-up. We did another big spook at the bunny in the woods (damn bunny! LOL) and were a little high-headed and “keen” to say the least, but we held it together. It helped that we had some interesting footing to go through. I ventured out farther on the trail, and snowmelt made things rather wet and wild. Sofie negotiated it quite well, scrambling up on banks to avoid the worst of it and sloshing through. I just had to watch my knees when she drifted out toward the woods. Once we turned back and found dry ground again I asked her to trot, and she stayed quite calm.

Back in the yard we returned to our dressage. I mostly focused on keeping things calm and quiet, and tried to avoid tromping on squishy areas. Sofie listened very well, with only a little anticipation mid-ride. Heading away from the barn, her drifting did get a little obnoxious, but we’re working on it. She did get a little sulky a couple times in the trot, probably due to her slight unsoundness. Her front end wasn’t bad that day, but I was feeling a possible little “something” behind, and a couple times when she sank down into the footing I heard a pop. Afterward her stifle was clicking a bit when she shifted, possibly due to her scrambling through the sloppy trail conditions. I’m not worried about it…she’s Sofa, and it is not unusual for her to be slightly unsound. As long as we can do stuff, I’m happy.

Other than those few minor issues, it was definitely a good ride. She was responsive, relaxed and she put up with me even when I accidentally trotted her through a squishy place, causing her to sink in with every step. Her transitions were prompt and nice, and she hardly inverted at all. I was really happy with how she trusted my hands. Her head stayed nice and low, reaching into the contact. Her frame is still an “open” frame, but I love how she’s initiating contact on a slightly long rein. It’s definitely a positive change, and I think she looks and feels beautiful with an “open” frame. Feeling what I feel when I ride her, and seeing it reinforced on video, makes me feel proud and pleased. And we've had more than four months of uninterrupted riding, which is certainly something worth celebrating!

Taking It Outside

2011-03-31T09:31:00.000-07:00

Sofamare has become catchable again after her short-lived rebellion. Even after I caught her and took her directly to the waiting veterinarian for her vaccinations (which involves twitching her, as she tends to drag people down the aisle when she sees a needle), she remained catchable. Last time I went to grab her she kind of gave me the grumpy face, and I waited to see if she would walk off. She just stood there, sniffed me, checked me over and stood there some more. Then I had to mess with the halter (it was all twisted) so she waited some more. Grumpy faces aside, I think we're doing alright.

Our last two rides have been outside, and it looks like we'll get out again today before some questionable weather moves in. But before that, we rode once in the indoor on kind of a bitter, cold day. She did well at the walk and trot, and her head carriage was nice for the most part. If I kept a slightly long rein, she stretched into the contact nicely on her own. When I tried to pick her up a bit more, she got a little inverted and didn't quite want to soften, but we worked on that a little. I love her nice, long and semi-low frame, and I'm very happy when she establishes the contact on her own.

She wasn't really off at all in front, so I decided to try the canter again. She picked it up without too much drama (ears back and some hesitation) to the left. She drifted in towards the end of the long side and seemed to be compensating a bit for her shoulder (or whatever it is that has been bothering her, front end wise) but it wasn't a bad canter. She didn't want to pick it up tracking right, but on my second "ask" she picked it up without bucking and maintained it well. After that I worked on getting the trot and walk nice again. She was anticipating a little, but we managed to work through it. It's something we need to practice.

The next ride, we ventured outside. It was a nice day but we proceeded to have a not very good ride. She was rather off in front, which I think contributed to her drifting and not wanting to bend or be round. She wasn't being bad or resisting, she just seemed to be having trouble going round and moving properly. I'm still not sure what her front end issue is. It seems somewhat intermittent, and it doesn't get worse towards the end of a ride. I wish we had a good, reputable equine massage therapist up here. We pretty much only have access to unlicensed people who are a bit...special. If you know what I mean.

Our last ride was much better. I didn't free school beforehand, since she seemed pretty dead calm. Of course as soon as I got her outside, she became very "keen". I was slightly apprehensive about getting on her, but I got her parked at the mounting block and she stood well. She walked around fine and we managed to hold it together pretty well through most of the ride. She was moving much better and seemed rather happy and perky. I opted for more straight lines and worked in different parts of the yard, and she followed my direction well. We did some really nice trot-walk transitions in the early part of the ride. I’ve been impressed with her responsiveness lately. We’ve certainly improved our downward transitional ability!

Out in the yard, she hasn’t been as round as I can sometimes get her in the indoor, but she hasn’t been too terribly inverted, and I think overall she’s improved since I started working on getting her round. She can get a little stiff in her jaw when she’s outside, but we haven’t had too many issues with that. I’m still waiting for the yard to dry out in places, and when it does I’ll have more room to work in some turns and figures, which help with the bending and flexion.

Right now I’ve been doing my circle work in the main flat area in the yard. There’s quite a bit of room there, and I can do a huuuuge circle or even work in some serpentines. I was riding her down there at a trot, when she decided she needed to canter and took off straight up a hill. Just the thing to do when you’re sore in the front end, right? Sofie stumbled a bit in front near the top of the hill, and came back to a trot. I turned her around and went back to what I’d been doing, but apparently she hadn’t gotten it out of her system because she attempted to canter back up the hill. This time I pulled her back to a trot (with some difficulty…hello, concrete mouth) and with some well placed half halts and downward transitions I managed to get her to listen a little better. We still had a few disputes (and one brief canter on a circle…OMG, I love her canter when she‘s bending. It‘s so nice and collected…). Fireball was really in the mood for cantering that day. It’s kind of fun when she gets a little hot, as long as it stays manageable. I like her energy and her sassiness, what can I say?

After her unauthorized canter bonanza, Sofie was a bit anticipatory, and it took a little work to convince her to just walk. After some repetition, she understood and we finished up with a little walk on contact and then a nice, relaxed walk on a long rein. I dropped my stirrups for the cooldown, and we both enjoyed just chillin’. It was a nice way to end the ride.

The next time I saw Sofie she looked a little stiff, maybe because of her insistence on cantering hills. I free schooled her briefly to see how she was moving, and she didn’t look her best but she didn’t look terrible either. Sofa was in a good mood, and she wasn’t giving me the grumpy face, which was nice. I got us ready to ride and we headed outside. She was quite alert once we got out there, but she stood very nicely at the mounting block and even waited for me to find my stirrups (how kind of you, Sofamare!).

She wasn’t really very “off”, just slightly more so than the last ride. She was still pretty willing but a little resistant here and there. It was a mixed ride, with some very nice moments and some disputes. Near the beginning, when I picked up the reins in the walk I could tell she wanted to trot, but she kept walking. I was really proud of her. Then when we started trotting, things got a little interesting. Fireball was apparently still present, and she picked up the canter first over by the barn. It was quite nice and not too out of control, so I let her canter a little ways before bringing her back to the trot with my seat. After that, I worked her in the large flat area, and she tried to canter up her new favorite hill again. I kept her on the circle, and she broke to a trot. Soon she threw in another canter, this time getting a little strong and fast. She was heading in the direction of the snow fence (I dunno why) and I when I asked her to stop taking me for a ride, she got mad, throwing her head and bouncing a little. Once she was down to a walk I adjusted the reins and we regrouped. She continued to be a little weird throughout the ride, trying to break into the canter at times and getting a little pissy here and there. She wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t our most polished ride by any means. On the positive side, I’m able to deal with her little outbursts now, and I had expected some drama once we got outside. I knew we needed to work on our little control issues, and so far she’s been better than I thought she’d be.

Once again, we had some issues with her not wanting to walk, but we worked through them and she was walking relaxed at the end. We even went on our first trail ride of the year! The trail still has some snow here and there, but it’s not too deep and quite a bit of it has melted down to bare ground. We had a great time on the trail. We didn't go too far (there was more snow further down) but we did do a giant spook at a rabbit (OMG they're rabid, you know) and we went through a HUGE puddle that encompassed the entire width of the trail. Experienced trail horse that she is, she tiptoed around the less-deep edge on the way through, and then we had to turn right around and walk back through it again. The second time she went right down the middle, head low, putting her feet down carefully. At one point she stopped and started pawing at the water, and I, seeming to remember reading something about horses pawing at water crossings before attempting to go down and roll, went "NO way!" and urged her onward.

I'm going out again today, and we'll see how the beast is. Maybe if she's not too sore in her front end, I'll work a little on the canter on my terms. Wow, really, I have those? I also have some video that I'll try to get posted somewhere in here, but I make no promises. I have a model horse show that I'm leaving for in two weeks, as well as all the usual things clamoring for my attention (goats, sheep, baby animals, my television shows, etc.).

Transition Time

2011-03-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

As always, Sofie differs by the day. Our last two rides have been strong, and certainly promising. I’ve been able to walk up to her and catch her two out of the last three times, which is an improvement. There is still some attitude I’m detecting there, and I’m not sure what to make of it, but I know my usual strategy of getting upset and taking it personally is not effective, so I’m working on adjusting my own attitude and finding the positive (or at least the non-dreadful side). I do tend to seek out the worst-case scenario and embrace it lovingly, which is something I’m working on. She has certainly been grumpy before, and we eventually moved past it. There have also been fleeting times when she was totally willing and happy and not having any issues (there really have been, I swear). So I know what she’s capable of, which is why I tend to look for an actual cause rather than sticking a negative label on her fuzzy, two-tone butt.

She’s been making such progress under saddle, which is partly why this is so confounding. Sofie is really learning and moving in the right direction, and she seems pretty happy to work for me. I guess whatever issue she’s having is just presenting itself in a different way this time around. I’m very happy to be having good rides, but it does make me question things when I show up and she doesn’t want to come in. It makes me think I’ve done something wrong, even when our rides point to something else entirely. It’s confusing.

When I went to grab Sofa before our second to last ride I found her lying down in a hay pile (and filthy mud…the hay pile wasn’t big enough. Woops.), so I walked over to see how she would react. When I reached her she stood up, I petted her for a bit and she didn’t walk away. She seemed happy to see me, so I had hope that maybe her cranky phase was over. I cleaned her up a little and put the mounting block outside, as the weather was still nice that day. We were mainly confined to the driveway (I did walk her on the high ground in the yard, but the grass went squish, squish, squish with every step so we had to tread lightly to avoid making holes everywhere), but being outside was still way preferable to the dingy arena.

We did our usual work and were able to adapt to the footing and limited space quite well. She never bobbled, even on the hardest part of the driveway, and she took a nice contact at the trot most times. She bent well and didn’t waver too much when I asked her to go straight away from the barn. Her walk was good, and she didn’t anticipate the trot. She also listened well during the downward transitions. The driveway wasn’t conducive to figures, but as I was trotting her around I did have her do a ten meter right half circle on a slope, just to see how she would do. She was round and bending really well. It was no trouble for her at all. It really showed her progress with bending to the right. I like to keep my figures big, but I think it’s good to throw in smaller turns every so often to test her balance and keep things interesting.

We both had fun on our driveway ride. It was nice to do something different. Sofie seemed happy the whole time. Afterward I led her out to eat a little grass. Sofie had been eagerly looking at the disgusting, old grass that had melted out, and I finally had time for a little hand-grazing.

The next day I came out to find her walking away from me again, which was upsetting. I think the reason I’ve been struggling with this is because I consider Sofie a friend, and she has been there for me when friends haven’t. So I took it a little hard.

Once I got her tacked up I led her into the indoor and decided to set up a couple poles. I hadn’t worked her over poles in forever, but I wanted to do something different to make the arena a little less blah, so I put Sofa in park and grabbed a pole. She seemed interested, and abandoned her stationary position to follow me as I dragged a pole out into the arena. Once I found the right spot I set it down and led her back to the pole heap, where I “parked” her again and got another pole. She followed me again looking very adorable and not at all pissed off at my presence. I guess she is a girl, so she has every right to change her mind every five seconds...

I mounted up, leaving my feet out of the stirrups. It was nice to get back to no-stirrups work. I've been riding outside so much that my no-stirrup work had kind of fallen away, since I'm not confident enough to go without outside yet. Something I need to work on. Anyway, after our obligatory walk-around time I picked up the reins, did a little suppling to prevent anticipation, and asked her to trot. She went around to the right with nice energy, and I felt a good, positive connection going on. It was just one of those rides where everything was pretty easy, and it seemed like we knew what we were doing. I was able to keep her on the rail, and we had a nice dialogue going. After I asked her to walk I felt the exertion of going back to no stirrups, but I still felt balanced without them.

She was bobbling to the left at a trot, so we didn't do to much in that direction. She was much rounder, though, and not all tense and inverted. Our downward transitions were much better, and I felt like I had half halts, which have been harder to do without stirrups. She had plenty of energy at the walk and did not anticipate the trot. Our rein backs were a little relucant and wobbly but not bad. And the pole work proved rather fun. She didn't pick up her feet quite enough over the larger pole, but she was much more willing to actually go over the poles than she has been in the past. She used to hate pole work, and this time she didn't seem to have an issue with it.

All in all, it was a very productive ride. She is so much rounder than she ever has been, it's pretty great. She's really learned a lot in a short time. Riding without stirrups is the best thing I've ever done. I'm so much better off now as a rider. I have built strength and balance, and I feel totally comfortable without stirrups now at the walk and trot. Sofie is learning how to be round and taking steps toward a better balance, which she has needed for a long time. All very good things.

Her resistance to being caught is not great, but I'm finding it's not the end of the world. I don't consider myself entirely blameless or anything, but I also can't beat myself up for not being perfect. This phase may be due in part to my asking her for more. She may not be entirely on board, and maybe she would rather hang out with her friends than come in and work. It's spring, and everybody's in transition. Things have changed, in more ways than one. The work is a little harder, but she needs the work. She's moving in a much more beneficial way now. I've started praising her more, which I needed to do, and maybe that will help over time. All I can do is enjoy what goes well, and try not to get too focused on what goes badly. Maybe it's not the end of the world if she doesn't want to come in some days. Maybe it's just another thing we need to work through.

Looking Up?

2011-03-22T10:12:00.000-07:00

Last post left off with me wondering what was up with Sofie’s sudden, negative attitude towards coming in. This continued on into Saturday. When I went to catch her she only moved about five feet away, though it seemed like that had less to do with her accepting my presence and more to do with her understanding that if she didn’t let me catch her I would make her work, and then catch her anyway. The look on her face was really disheartening. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look that unhappy to see me. Sofie is not an enthusiastic, golden retriever-ish horse by nature, and she is prone to unenthused, slightly grumpy faces, but usually when I go out to catch her she seems relatively happy to see me. This new development was rather depressing for me, especially after my recent post in which I wrote about how "our relationship is the most important thing, gotta preserve the relationship, be friends, etc. etc.". It just kind of sucked because I felt like we were friends, and then all of a sudden my horse seemed to pretty much hate me. Yeah...obviously something went wrong.

Once I got her in the aisle I went to work pulling loose hairs out of her, then worked on massaging/stretching her hopes that it would help take some of the nastiness out of her expression and make her feel better. I noticed while I had her in the aisle that her left stifle seemed to be clicking when she shifted that leg. It sounded like something was out of alignment for sure, although it didn't seem to be be bothering her. She was able to pick up both hind legs for me to clean her feet, it just seemed like it was taking a little extra effort for her to shift that leg. She wasn't really off in motion, either, so I went ahead and tacked her up.

I had decided to ride in the indoor since everything was really squishy outside, plus I was hearing thunder. I had just gotten her in the indoor and was in the process of tightening her girth when the rain started pouring. Sofie got scared and started walking off, so I grabbed the reins and walked with her. I just led her around and rubbed her neck occasionally until she relaxed enough to stop and stand while I tightened her girth. Then I walked her a little more. She was still tense, but I figured I'd get on and just ride. She stood at the mounting block and I put my feet in the stirrups (I'm not that brave) and let her walk on. We were both really nervous (all my muscles were wobbling) and we both spooked at something (she spooked at a scary door, and I spooked at her spooking), but I took some deep breaths and used the time-honored neck rubbing technique to help her relax. She walked until I told her to trot, and she started out in a nice, long frame at the trot, reaching into the contact really nicely. I was super happy with that. We went on to have a good ride, nothing fancy, but we did fairly decent walk and trot work in both directions, and we weren't horribly inverted. I was glad I was able to deal with her being tense (it's always good practice for if we ever go somewhere, I figure). For me to be able to walk her around like that and then get on without being afraid is a huge accomplishment. And I was proud of her for trusting me and listening to me when she was nervous. Regardless of our recent issues, I had hope that things might improve after that ride.

To be continued...when I have time!

New Attitude

2011-03-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

There’s been a shift in Sofie’s attitude that happened within our last few encounters. She hasn’t become terribly resistant under saddle, but she is reactive during grooming, which seems to suggest soreness. She is not lame or even off, really, but I think she’s communicating soreness. She’s reacting to pressure on her chest - a usual hot spot for Sofa pain - and seems to have some right side sensitivity as well. And the main thing is that she’s started not wanting to be caught, which is disheartening. She was hard to catch when I bought her, but I’ve pretty much been able to walk up to her for quite some time now, with a few random exceptions. But on Saturday when I went to get her she kept walking away, so I went with my usual tactic of sending her away (the “join-up” theory, as well as the “make their little game un-fun” theory). She was pretty determined not to be caught, and even kicked at me. Twice. I made sure she knew that was not remotely okay, and I think she got the message because she hasn’t done it since. Eventually I was able to catch her and I managed not to hold a grudge or go OMG my horse hates me! which was good, ‘cause that would have been kind of pointless at that point.

I’m not about to just blame this on attitude, since I’ve learned (repeatedly) that what seems like a training issue is often physically (and problematically) based. There’s got to be a reason for a horse to resist something all of a sudden. Obviously there’s the probability of pain being involved. Her reactivity to grooming indicates soreness, as does that front end “thing” I’ve been feeling for a few weeks. She tends to get sore shoulders from pulling herself around with her front end, which is one compelling reason why she needs to learn how to carry herself properly.

I also know that I have been asking for more as of late, which could lead to a little resistance. Having to work a little harder may have brought on a little soreness. I’m not sure it can be avoided in this case. She has issues, and while this work is good for her (as evidenced by a glowing review from a hard to please Annie when she last saw her), she’s having to stretch herself, and start to use muscles that have been long neglected. I certainly can’t blame her for not being entirely on board. I also don’t want to use her physical problems as an excuse for everything I don’t like. It’s true that a lot of her issues stem from her hocks, etc. but that doesn’t mean I should always rule out other potential causes. And I need to look to myself as a trainer to make sure I’m not a problem. Although I’ve been doing a pretty good job, I have struggled with attitude problems of my own, which I’m sure could be a factor. I have also known for a while that I have been a little stingy with the praise. I just get too focused on the things I’m working on, and I’ve neglected to speak up or reach down to rub her neck when she’s good, both of which she really appreciates. I haven’t been too much of a hard-ass, but I need to do better.

Finally, I think hormones might have been a contributing factor. It seemed like she was in heat last week, and she was definitely feeling it on Saturday. All the mares seemed to have lost their brains a little that day. I will be considering all the factors and working to be more generous with the praise, and we'll see if this little baditude clears up. I think it will.

Saturday’s ride was actually okay. Our walk work was a lot better, and she only broke to the trot a few times. I played around with picking up the reins and putting them down and rode without stirrups the whole time, so I felt like we had a somewhat productive ride. She seemed a little sore towards the end and we still had issues with straightness and the left side, but I was happy with her improvement in the walk. She did get gnarly in the trot a few times, particularly near the end of the ride. I rewarded more than I had been, so I was happy that I’d made an improvement in that respect.

She walked away from me again on Monday, but with less determination and no kicking. It didn't take me long to catch her, so that was at least a little better. It was a stunningly beautiful day, and I really wanted to ride outside, but I didn't know how the footing was. I was undecided as I tacked her up, but I quickly determined that I COULD. NOT. Ride in the indoor. I just couldn't. So we went outside. I figured I'd just walk her at first, and if the footing wasn't good then we'd just walk. But the driveway was mostly melted out, and when I rode her out into the snow I found that the footing was really pretty ideal. We really lucked out with that. I rode her all over the yard, and she was really good. Unsurprisingly, her jaw was a bit locked, but I just worked on it and it got better. She didn't drift badly at all and she wasn't barn sour. I love it! She went where I asked her to go and seemed pretty content. I think we were both really happy to get outside.

I've said it before, but I will be SO happy when we can ride outside consistently again. It's so nice to have room to work. I did some work on the free walk to working walk transition, and Sofie did well with not anticipating the trot. For my main trot work I put her on a huge circle (I like to make my circles waaaaay huge. Yay for large circles! The benefits of bending without the strain of a tiny little figure!) and worked in both directions. She was awesome, bending pretty evenly in both directions and maintaining her speed around the circle without falling and drifting very much. I felt the benefits of my stirrupless work in my stability. I didn't feel all over the place like I sometimes do when we're working outside, and especially in the snow.

She snuck a canter in once in her favorite spot to pick it up, so I kept her on the huuuuge circle and asked her to keep going. She broke to a trot ("Nah, don't wanna canter anymore. You ruined it for me with your enthusiasm.") so I tentatively put my outside leg back, all the while thinking "I wonder if she'll buck. Eh, probably." I could tell she was strongly considering it, but she decided to just pick up the canter without any issues. She drifted out a bit on the circle (I need to learn to keep my outside rein in the canter and not just try to steer with the inside rein) but she was bending and round in her neck. It was very nice, and drama-free.

We've really come a long way in our work outside. The barn sourness is no longer an issue (I even tested it by asking her to trot right by the barn, and she trotted away willingly!) and I'm definitely feeling confident that we can learn to bend flex and go relatively straight out there. I think we'll be able to present a pretty nice picture with some work! My mom was watching the ride, and she said we both looked good. According to her, Sofie was bending well, and she told me my contact was 100 percent improved from last year. All good things! I can definitely feel an improvement from the rather sloppy, disorganized, haphazard way we were going around even last fall. Apart from that, it was just such an awesome day to be riding. At one point I had halted her and I just sat on her for a minute, reveling in the sun and the light breeze. I could've stayed there all day.

Tuesday I went to the barn with a friend. Sofie actually didn't walk away from me when I went to catch her. She might've thought about it, but still, I'll take it. We rode outside again, and I didn't worry too much about "working" since it was really sloppy out and she'd done a lot the previous day. She resisted going into the trot a little the first time I asked, but that was all. We mostly walked around, with a little trotting and cantering (because we just can't help ourselves, apparently). She went through puddles and negotiated the mud and sloppy, melting snow like an ATV.

Antici...pation!

2011-03-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

Last post I detailed my big, lofty (for us) long term goals for us. Obviously we’ll be chipping away at those for quite some time, and little accomplishments will need to happen along the way as we piece together some semblance of a connection.

The last couple rides have been mixed, as always. On Tuesday she walked toward me when I went to catch her and seemed happy to see me. Her attitude was good, except for a few instances of getting pissed off at the trot. We’re still dealing with a little front end unsoundness, which makes things harder, and I suspect it contributes to her little displays of resentment. We haven’t cantered, but we’ve been able to get some work done at the walk and trot, and she doesn’t seem to worsen with work, so it appears we’ll be able to keep riding until I hear otherwise from her.

I’ll be very happy when the footing allows us to work outside again. Tuesday was lovely, and we went outside for a short time but discovered that the footing was not good for anything above a walk. It wasn’t great for a walk either, but Sofie was being careful and we both enjoyed our time outside. The yard is mainly melted out, but the ground is hard and an inch of rather wet snow had fallen, leading to slickness. There were also patches of glare ice, as I realized when I looked down and saw a Sofie hoof print that had uncovered such a patch. After that I decided to head back to the barn, but we were down in a valley and needed to walk up a small hill to get where we needed to go. I could feel her moving very carefully up that hill, like I do when our paths at home turn into glare ice. She did a great job on that footing, never being stupid or sliding at all. Good Sofa! After I picked the ice balls out of her feet (yeah, I’m sure that really helped her negotiate on the ice and slippery snow, eesh) we went into the arena to do some actual trot work.

We have made definite progress in some respects. Her right side is vastly improved. Not so long ago, she was way inverted tracking right at the trot, and I had to work to get just a moment of reluctant flexion from her. Now she’s moving with her head lower, taking a contact and responding to my aids. Apart from some falling in and the occasional return to inversion, her right side is really nice. I guess it proves we can make progress on our training issues.

Her left side, which used to be pretty decent, is bad. I’m not sure why it’s gotten bad, although I think it may have to do with her improvements on the right, as well as this shoulder soreness thing. She’s going around inverted tracking left, with a tight neck and she’s reluctant to come round and flex. She also seems to be having an issue going straight, and sometimes it feels like she’s twisting her front end to avoid really weighting her right shoulder. The left is going to need some work, as I’d like, ideally, to have two fairly even sides. But I have to be sensitive to how she’s feeling, and little things are telling me that she’s sore right now. I think we can still work on things and make progress, I just need to be careful with her.

On Tuesday I avoided circle work, and opted for random, diagonal type turns instead. She did well with the change-up, and the turns seemed to help her round and flex in both directions.

Our main issue that I need to address is anticipation. I’m not sure if I’ve been overdoing the trot, or making things too predictable, but during our walk work, she’s been breaking into the trot. A lot. It’s frustrating, although I suppose it’s better to have her thinking and trying to do what I want than have her totally tuned out and dull. She really seems to be anticipating a lot, really over thinking things, and I’m not sure how to get her to relax and wait for me to tell her what to do. It’s something I’m going to work on. I need to get her to stay in the walk and wait for me to tell her to trot, and I need to work on picking up the contact, because that is a major hole in our training. She’ll be in a nice, relaxed free walk, and when I pick up the reins, she will inevitably invert, counterbend, fall in, lose her rhythm a bit, or all of the above. It’s obvious she’s over thinking it, so I need to really practice the transition from free walk to working walk. I need to pick up the reins and put them back down without asking for the trot, and repeat as necessary until we make some improvement.

I started working on this last ride. Neither one of us were in a great mood (she actually didn’t want to be caught for the first time in a long time, and she had a poor attitude and was girthy. She was pretty good during the ride, especially to the right at a trot. I did struggle a bit to keep from getting frustrated when she repeatedly broke into the trot, but I managed to avoid getting into a bad "thing" with her and after working on picking her up and then letting the reins out (repeat, repeat, repeat) we did manage some nice walk work. I felt good about what we accomplished. I think this is just something we need to work on. I've known for a while that I needed to work on this, and it's gotten to the point where I could no loner ignore it and move on to funner things. I think Sofie picked up on the fact that I liked being able to do trot and canter work (after periods of her barely being able to move at a trot, and definitely not wanting to), and she's just trying to do what she thinks I want. She's not really being bad. Her moments of baditude are few and far between, and she's trying to cope with this new stuff I'm asking and her own issues. I really need to respect her for trying, and recognize that she is trying, rather than getting frustrated when certain aspects of our training just feel so...not there.

We'll work on it, and we'll get there, I think. I thought it would take for-freaking-ever to get any improvement on the right side, and we totally have it already. Now we just have to work on this other stuff, and slowly put it together. And as the supposedly superior, thinking being on this team, I need to be patient, fair and encouraging, rather than sliding into perfectionism and frustration. Because when I look back at where we've been, I can see that she is really working for me, regardless of how good or bad I am.

Two Years, and Goals

2011-03-08T10:53:00.000-08:00

Two years ago I met my horse for the first time. She was obese, with rolls of fat you could grab with your hand. She stood short legged and long backed, with a massive front end, and she sported an impressive underneck, the muscle rigid and very well developed in all the wrong ways. Her feet were awful looking, overgrown and cracked from months of neglect. She was hard to catch in a small square paddock, and pushy on the ground. Her attitude was indifferent and somewhat pissed off. She moved beautifully, and I tried her out in a potato field covered with crusted snow. I loved riding her. We went home and we researched, called farriers, and agonized. There were a lot of questions, a lot of reasons not to get her. I couldn’t not get her. There was something there that made that impossible.

A lot has gone down these two years. There was a lot we had to learn about her. There were her feet, worse than we thought. Her body, her hocks, her hormones. There have been times when I thought she would never be right, and each time we’ve found a way to manage her problems. I am so thankful for that.

I learned how to manage her, and I learned about all the different aspects of owning a horse. I was able to get into a barn that has all the facilities we need, a small herd of mares that Sofie gets along with, and most importantly, it feels more like a second home than a barn. I learned from Sofie’s team of professionals, particularly Annie, our trimmer who has always been there for Sofie when she needed her the most.

I learned how to deal with a horse on the ground, and became more confident handling Sofie. She made me afraid of her at times, but eventually she helped take away my fear. Neither of us are competitive or brilliant at what we do, but we complement each other well. We accept each other and our flaws, and we learn together, a little at a time. I appreciate who she is and I love riding her. I would rather work with Sofie than any other horse I’ve ever ridden. I don’t know how she feels about me, but I hope she enjoys (or at least doesn’t mind) working with me. I think we have a bond, and that feels good.

Two years ago I found a horse who was basically ignorant, and carrying a lot of baggage. Pain had shaped her all wrong, and her mind was all over the place. I was struggling with confidence issues, issues with perfectionism and I was easily reduced to an emotional mess. Two years later, we are both better for our time together. We’ve achieved a lot, considering where we started from. Now I want to continue our improvement. My dressage lessons have shown me what I need to work on with Sofie, and where we need to go. I think we’re both ready to step it up a bit.

I have three goals for this third year together.

1. Install The Basics. I have a better idea of what I’m doing now, and I want to get the basics down. I want a connection, bend in both directions, improved straightness. I want to work toward getting her off her front end and onto her hindquarters, and I want to maintain and improve her responsiveness. Basically, I want to hone all the little aspects of our work and make positive improvements until she looks and moves like I know she can.

2. Ride Off Base. I want to have her trailered to another location and ride her there, because I want to prove to myself that I can do it, and I would like to know I can take advantage of opportunities such as clinics in the future. I don’t yet know when we will be able to pull this off, but I’m really hoping to do it.

3. Be Happy. The most important thing to me is our relationship. Sofie is always there for me, and it’s wonderful to know that. I consider her my friend, and I want to keep our relationship as strong as possible. I need to keep her best interests and limitations in mind during our training, and I need to approach our work with a positive attitude. Dressage is good therapy for her, but I need to praise her often and always try to be fair. I want us both to like what we do, and I think that ideal is definitely possible for us.

Thank you to all the people who have helped with Sofie and gotten us where we are today. And thank you to my readers and followers. I never anticipated anyone who wasn’t directly related to me would be at all interested in my work and progress as a bottom-feeder in dressage, with a talented but challenged horse. I’m looking forward to sharing our journey this next year, and beyond.

Our New Favorite Things & More

2011-03-07T11:17:00.000-08:00

I finally have an actual reasonable chunk of time to sit in front of my computer and get things done that need getting done. YES. So I should hopefully be able to formulate a decent post. My blogging has kind of fallen by the wayside lately. I've barely had time to document our rides. But today I have time to write, and I have actual images to liven things up! I know, wow.

Firstly, Our New Favorite Things.

B-Goood! (Or B-Gone), our new favorite supplement that keeps hormonal hell at bay. The bucking horse on the label cracks me up. Looks like someone I know…

I officially retired my much-loved synthetic field boots that have been steadily falling apart since last March. I put it off for a long time, partly because those boots fit me perfectly and they didn’t require special care, which rendered them fully awesome in my book. And also, I hate shopping for shoes or boots. It’s difficult to find stuff that fits. It’s ridiculous. But I found some boots I wanted, and my local tack shop was nice enough to order them in a couple sizes for me to try. They’re Mountain Horse non-special winter dress boots, and they’ve been quite nice. They don’t fit quite as perfectly as the synthetic boots, but I didn’t want a super-tight fit as I have been known to forget my riding pants, and have to ride in sweatpants. It happens.

Our most recent purchase was a new girth. I’ve known for a while that Sofa’s 48 inch Wintec girth was a bit long for her, particularly since she’s gotten in better shape. I had been thinking about getting a shorter girth for a while, I liked the idea of a cord girth, and my mom found such a girth on special for $12 in a catalog. So she ordered one, and I tried it out on Sofa. I really like it. It’s comfortable, breathable, and she doesn’t get all sweaty underneath it (that was always an issue with the Wintec girth). The 44 inch length is better for her, and it really seems to be doing a great job of holding the saddle in place. The saddle doesn’t seem to go “off to one side” anymore. It’s staying in place even when we work on circles and I have to use one leg pretty heavily. I know we’re not straight, and it doesn’t affect the saddle. Love it. As a bonus, pretty much everyone who sees it comments on the girth, since it's not exactly a common sight anymore. I'm not sure why cord girths fell out of favor (probably had something to do with all the synthetic/nylon/rayon girths that came on the scene), as they're cheap and they work great. But I have seen pictures of Reiner Klimke on Ahlerich, IN the Olympics, using a cord girth. And if it was good enough for him, then Sofa and I are more than happy to be seen in, ahem, cords.

Sofie has been a sassy, smart little mare. She’s been tearing around the arena during our free schools, bursting with all the energy she doesn’t expend on her own time. It’s fun to watch her play around. She starts out looking somewhat stiff, and then her energy builds and she starts galloping around like a maniac, and doesn’t stop for a while. Then she slows to a trot or a walk and blows, like “Whew! That was good” then goes back to looking like her normal, slightly arthritic self. I really need to get some video of her free schooling antics. I have some on my cell phone, but I have no way of importing it to my computer.

On Thursday Sofie was intermittently off. I felt the same front end thing I’d been feeling during some of our recent rides. She didn’t seem reluctant or uncomfortable, so I kept riding for 45 minutes, sticking to walk and trot work, and she didn’t get any worse. She was a bit inverted and a little reluctant to flex at the poll, so I just worked for small moments of flexion, rewarding when she softened. I wasn’t concerned with her being perfect on that day. It was a good ride, nice and quiet, with some good moments. I was happy that I was able to work within her capabilities, and I finally rode without stirrups for the entire ride! I felt totally comfortable at the trot, both posting and sitting, and I rode out a few silly little Sofa spooks. I’ve only recently gotten back to riding without stirrups after losing my confidence due to my bad saddle, and it feels good to be working on my seat. I’m not yet ready to canter without stirrups, as we don’t yet have a totally confirmed canter depart (in other words, we haven’t quite gotten the bucks out yet!). But it’s definitely a step in the right direction, and I'm proud of myself for working through my initial reluctance.

On Saturday when I arrived another boarder was tacking up her horse for a lesson. I quickly realized I needed to free school my beast, and asked if she could wait for a minute while I ran my horse around. She said yes, so I grabbed Sofie's halter, went out and grabbed Sofie and hustled her into the indoor (with her looking at me like "WTF what's your hurry?"). She trotted around for a minute, looking perfectly calm. Yeah, sure, Sofa. I asked her to canter a few times, and she picked up the canter right away but didn't hold it for long. I still wasn't convinced. I asked her to canter again, using body language (I jog along with her and then do a "canter depart", I'm sure it's quite a sight to see). She looked at me as I popped into the "canter", and she lept into the air, striking out and stomping with her front feet, like "You call THAT a canter depart?! I'LL show you a canter depart!" After that she did not stop cantering for a while, except to do a little crazy-eyed, inverted POWER TROTTING. She also did a couple abrupt stops in the corners, and at one point she did a rollback at top Sofa speed. It was pretty nifty. I think it would be awesome if I could teach her to do a full reining pattern, totally free and just from body language. Wouldn't that be cool?! I actually think I have a better chance of getting her to do a reining pattern that way than with me on her back...

Finally she was able to stop, and I led her into the barn where the other lady was still waiting patiently for us to clear out of the arena...thanks, we appreciated it! It really is imperative that we free school before I ride. Fireball still had energy, but it was not overwhelming and we had a good, productive ride. We worked around the other horse and rider well, once I figured out how to pass left to left (it's hard for some people, namely ME...). I did work without stirrups, though not for the entire ride, and I still felt very comfortable without them, although I haven't yet developed enough strength to be able to half halt effectively without stirrups. I'm hoping this will improve over time. I did have some minor issues with her breaking into the trot, but it wasn't too bad. She responded to a fairly light hand, and I didn't get frustrated.

Sofie was moving better, and I didn't feel her front end issue very much at all until the end. We worked mainly on flexing at the poll and responding to my aids. She isn't coming round consistently yet, and she often doesn't maintain it for too long, but I can definitely feel progress in that area of our work. I've been staying patient and asking lightly, and she is responding. She did go around with her head up and her nose out some of the time, and she did stick her head way up a few times, but there were also times when she responded to my hand and went round, and when I release and praise she tends to seek the contact even more. I'm not concerning myself with trying to force her to stay round, because I figure she's spent almost nine years of her life being inverted and having no clue about using herself and being round. It's going to take time for her to really become comfortable with this new thing I'm asking, and it's going to take time for her to understand it. I'm happy with the moments of improvement. They do count for something! I feel like she's really starting to get it, and that's exciting.

Our right circles were better. She didn't have very much bend going on, but she didn't fall in hardly at all on most of them. And at one point she did a really nice circle to the right. She was bent, and round, and it was just a super nice effort. I did a couple circles in a row because it felt so nice, and then I let the reins out and she stretched confidently, right into the contact.

I had planned to leave the canter alone for a while, but since she was doing so well I decided to do a little bit. Sofa was not particularly happy to go into the canter, and when I first asked for it I got a sizable Sofa buck. I didn't have enough weight in my heels, so I wound up out of the saddle, standing in my stirrups. Fortunately, she stopped at one buck, otherwise I would've stopped at the arena floor...I got her into the canter and did one more depart after that. She threw in another buck at some point, and when I brought her down to the trot the other woman in the arena said "I'll just be over here until you finish cantering." I assured her that I was done. I really wasn't that out of control, but apparently my beast looked like she was. Ah, well, at least we provide the entertainment. It's really amazing to me how I'm able to laugh and enjoy myself while my horse is being a beast when I used to be so afraid. It's so much better this way.

We did a little rein-back for the first time in a few rides, and it was a little sticky but not too bad. And our spin-on-the-forehand to the right is confirmed! I randomly asked for it, and she gave it to me without hesitation. It's so fun to spin around like that. When her hocks fuse, I'll have to see if I can learn how to do a proper reining spin!

I rode for around 45 minutes, and her shoulder issues didn't show up until the very end, when she became kind of gnarly, slow and reluctant in the trot. So I wrapped up the ride. Her legs are fine, and I've been doing front leg stretches with her, as well as massage. It doesn't seem to be getting worse, and I think it's just a typical Sofa overcompensation "thing".

So, anyway. Things are good, and I'm very happy. AND, I finally got a decent conformation shot of the Sofa! She's been looking really good, and I wanted to get an updated conformation shot. We've all seen the results of trying to pose Sofa (and the results are never pretty), so I decided to try to get a shot of her standing in the aisle, where she actually stands naturally and doesn't protest our picture-taking attempts by making herself look like a conformational trainwreck. This new strategy involved me standing in the office and taking the picture through the doorway, but it worked quite well.

Moments

2011-03-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

Every ride is a collection of moments. Good and bad moments, moments of breakthrough, moments of failure. Moments of connection, softness, bracing, struggle. It’s all just many moments, and you can choose to align them many ways in your head to determine the outcome, or your attitude towards it.

Each ride lately has been different. The things that happen well and the things we fight for always differ. Sometimes a ride stands out clearly in my head as “a good ride”, with no need for dissection or second guessing. Other times our successes are not so clear, and the feeling I got during the ride varies so wildly that I go back and pick it apart - “This went well, but that wasn’t happening, and why did I do that?”

The last few rides in February were somewhat mixed but in no way disastrous. On the 22nd I started our ride outside, where I tested our steering capabilities as I maneuvered Sofa around the little patches of ice out in the mainly melted-out yard. The ground is still too hard for real work, but it was okay for some trotting. I worked on trotting her toward The Place Where We Like To Canter, as we need work on not drifting and listening to my half halts. She wasn’t listening, so I had to get up in her face and at one point she completely set her jaw, developed a raging case of Concrete Mouth and Brick Wall Neck, and threw her head to the side with her mouth open against my hand. It’s going to take some work to get her listening out there at the trot and eventually the canter, but we did finish with improvement.

In the arena, our rather intensive bending-to-the-right session seemed to have been advantageous, as she continued to show improvement tracking right. She was softer and more willing to flex at the poll, which was promising. Her left side was actually worse at times. I worked a bit on flexing and trot circles but didn’t drill it too much. I also worked on the canter, and I kept her going all the way around the arena for the first time. She needed some encouragement to keep cantering through the corners, and I resorted to nagging to keep her going, but it was a good start. She tends to fall in when left to her own devices, and some support with the inside leg, as well as my keeping contact with her mouth seemed to help her negotiate the corners. It was fun to canter all the way around the arena instead of just down one long side. Sofa didn’t quite share my enthusiasm…

The next couple of rides were unfortunately tainted by my inability to deal with some major, seemingly unrelenting stress (NSR - Not Sofa Related). I was just way stressed out, and I took it out on Sofie. The first ride wasn't too bad, we just struggled with bending and flexion, and cantered around on our forehand, and I spoke sharply a couple of times. The next ride, though, fell five days into my week from hell. And I didn't free school, because someone was in the indoor, and by the time they got out of the indoor, I was already tacked up. And Sofa hadn't been exercised in two days, so she was understandably energetic. I knew I was worn dangerously thin, running on nothing, and I knew I had been lashing out at anything or anyone who remotely annoyed me. I knew I needed to watch myself. And I actually held it together really well for most of the ride. We walked on a long rein, played with flexion, trotted and cantered. The canter was awesome, holy crap. She just had so much energy that had not been expended by racing around the arena on her own, and she barely even thought about being mad or reluctant. We cantered all the way around the arena, and it was just awesome, so nice and forward, uphill and bounding. It was FUN.

After that, the ride took a bad turn. I didn't want to overdo the canter, as she had been feeling a little off in front, and I also mistakenly thought I'd been riding for longer than I had. So I tried to wrap things up with some walk/trot transitions, and she would not walk on contact. She kept breaking into the trot, over and over, and I got frustrated. I muttered negativities to her, and twice I jerked her in the mouth (once while yelling at her). It was not good, and there's no excuse for that. Ever. The only good thing I can say about it is that I really don't think I'll do that again, because it made me feel like shit for days afterward, and as soon as I got off her I cried. Our relationship isn't ruined, and she's still there for me. She's so good that way.

After my little outburst I attempted to wrap up the ride, and succeeded in getting some nice trot work where she was experimenting with a lower head carriage (even going behind the vertical at times, which made me nervous). Eventually she did walk on a long rein, and then on contact, which was a small positive. I was feeling horrible about how I treated her, and I was also anxious about her going behind the vertical and losing momentum in the walk. But it was over, and we had other chances ahead of us to do better.

Our last ride was really good. I was relieved that she didn't seem to hate me or even distrust me. She got to run around in the arena, and buck and try to kick me in the head (from far away, mind you, and she got growled at for sure). We had a nice walk warm-up, and I did a little work on serpentines to get her loosened up and bending. We went to the trot and worked on softening, and she was good, inverted at first but tentatively responding to my hand without my having to resort to head-pulling-around tactics. The canter was okay. She was a little reluctant to go into it, and a little pissed off. But we cantered to the right (still not on the right lead, ergh), and even tried counter-cantering through corners, which we managed handily. We went around the arena to the left, until she thought about bucking, twisted her front end and aggrivated whatever vague front-end issue she has going on. She was off for a few strides, but she improved. I chose not to canter her any more that day, and worked on the walk and trot instead. And she was great. She maintained her gait with my legs loose at her sides (the same was true in canter) and responded to light finger pressure, flexing and coming round. She was just really, really nice and soft. It was pretty freaking great.

She was still a slight bit off, so I ended the ride and took her outside for a little hack around the yard. She walked around on a long rein, relaxed and happy.

So it's always interesting, never perfect. But I think we're on the right track. And I think we're getting somewhere.

Challenges Met [VIDEO]

2011-02-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

Rides have been somewhat limited the last couple of weeks due to various factors (COLD, commitments elsewhere, goat kids arriving on the farm, etc.), but I did manage two rides each week, plus a free schooling session to keep Sofa loosened up and exercised.

The second week of February was not all that productive. It got cold, Sofie got stiff, and I got kind of bitchy, to be honest. Everything had been going so well, and each ride had felt like a notable improvement. It was just a little frustrating to go back to inversion, stiffness, clunky, jerky movement and even more wavering on our straightaways. The first ride of the week it felt like she could not walk a straight line. She was just all over the place, and it felt like we had nothing in the way of basics or training to show for all our time together. What I neglected to really notice and appreciate was how willing she was, and how she never got pissy with me even when I got pissy with her. She wasn’t evading or doing anything bad, she just was not physically able to do what I was asking on that particular day. After the ride, I felt badly for not being able to lighten up. My frustrations amounted to a few sharp words and a couple sharp corrections that were borderline “too much”, but it still makes me feel terrible. I know screwing up and being stupid at times is part of being human, but I hate when my humanity pops up at the expense of others, particularly animals. I just need to do the best I can, try to keep a clear head, and learn from it when I do mess up. I’ve gotten better at letting things go after a bad ride, and knowing that I will have other chances to do better.

The high point in the ride was when I decided to stop working on the things that weren’t happening and just went forward. We probably did four or five canters, and she went forward well without bucking or getting mad. It was good for both of us, and I think we had fun with it.

Midweek it was so cold I didn’t ride (and it takes a lot for me not to ride). I rode once over the weekend when the weather was nicer, and we rode outside briefly but had to stop because the snow had gotten really dense. It was just too hard on her to do very much out there. I stopped after fifteen minutes and reluctantly retreated to the indoor (blah) where we proceeded to have a rather mediocre, disorganized, clunky ride. She was still having issues with stiffness, and for some reason I was riding pretty terribly, so we were kind of all over the place with no semblance of connection. Even though we were definitely NOT the epitome of dressage, she still did better in some ways than the previous ride, particularly when it came to walking straight. However the canter (which I sort of knew would be better left alone that day) was pretty bad. I didn’t set her up at all for the canter departs, and although she still gave me the canter (except to the right, at first), it was pretty disorganized. I only cantered her three times for a few strides, but it would’ve been better to leave it alone. I also could’ve had a better attitude. So it was not our best week, but that’s okay.

This past week Sofie has been moving better, but we’ve faced another challenge. Hormones! The B-Gooooood! doesn’t stop her from cycling, it just levels her out a bit to help prevent the cramping that was causing us so much stress. So far it does seem to doing that, but I definitely think Sofa came into heat recently. On Tuesday she was not standing well in the aisle, which usually indicates that her mind is elsewhere. Even with hay in front of her, she started walking off when I went into the tack room. It happened several times, and I got pissed and decided to back her down the aisle to try and instill some respect (not yet realizing it was hormones, because I’m just really brilliant like that). She backed up slowly and heavily, not even looking at me, which pissed me off further, so I smacked her on the chest, trying to get her to pay attention. It didn’t happen, so I backed her some more, brought her forward, backed her, spun her around, etc. for a minute, intermittently smacking/jerking/telling her off. She stood and ate her hay after that, but I knew it was not great of me to have handled it like that, and I made sure to praise her for being good.

When we started our trot work she was moving well, but I quickly discovered she was quite inverted, counter bent and very “locked up” tracking right. The right is her worse side, and we had been making little momentary improvements in her willingness to bend and flex to the right, but on this day her nose was waaaay out and to the left. She was moving forward without stiffness, so I used the opportunity to try and get her to soften. I put her on a circle and sponged the inside rein while trying to keep a connection on the outside rein. I also had to work to keep her from falling in, particularly on one side of the circle. At this stage I’m using a lot of inside leg to get her to carry herself around a consistent circle and not careen in.

I kept working at it for probably at least ten minutes, and she was not unlocking. Eventually I needed a response in the right direction from her, so I physically pulled her nose around to the right, just for an instant. Then I released, and she actually lowered her head and softened for a couple strides before inverting again. After that, she began to respond better to my aids, and she gave me glimmers of softening and rounding. I did employ my unlocking, head-pulling-around technique a few more times when she needed a reminder. It’s not exactly pretty or great classical dressage, but I think it’s kinder to spell it out for her when she really needs to unlock and soften rather than wear her out doing fifty million circles. I didn’t have to use much pressure, and I released quickly, never holding her head in place. It worked really well for her.

At some point I was particularly satisfied with a circle we did and I let the reins out, did some stretchy trot and then let her walk. When she came down to the walk I could feel right away that she was tired (not surprising, given that she was trotting forward, continuously and on a circle for a definite while). I was breathing fairly hard myself, so we both had a nice walk break, and then I picked her back up and trotted to the left. She was solid, giving me a good feel in the reins and moving out without complaint. I trotted a bit to the left and then turned onto the diagonal. I wanted to finish up tracking right. As we approached the corner I thought, Let’s just turn right and not change anything.

She went through the corner, now tracking right, feeling soft and reaching down into the contact. We kept going once or so around the arena (with me exclaiming “Good girl! Good!” and the like), and she was lovely, enormously improved from where we’d started. I let the reins out, stretchy trot, free walk, big pats, a rein-back and spin-on-the-forehand for the camera and we were done. I was very happy with what we’d accomplished, and how I handled her initial resistance and made something good happen.

My dad was there during this ride, and he took video (thanks, Dad!), which I will now share. I feel really good about the video and what it shows. You can see that we’re not perfect, but you can see how we started out and where we ended up. I feel like we’ve made some progress on our bending and straightness, and she’s moving quite well, tracking up or nearly so in the trot. The improved frame she’s in would be considered a more “open” frame, apart from the moments of her experimenting with lowering her head, but I’m fine with that.

(Keep watching ‘til the end to see our awesome rein-back and reining-infused turn on the forehand!)

On Wednesday I was at the barn twice, very briefly, picking up and dropping off my riding stuff before and after my lesson. I looked in on Sofa each time, and she was standing right by the gelding fence. Both times. And I don’t think she moved during the three hours in between my visits. Oh, hormones…

Friday I finally got back to the barn with the time to ride. There was a cold, wickedly strong wind going that day, and when I free schooled Sofie she was bananas. She took off running, and ran, and ran, and ran. She really built some speed, and threw in the occasional sudden stop or change of direction, along with her Warmblood Trot (sometimes it’s an Arabian Trot, but only if she lifts her tail waaay up, which she does sometimes when she’s feelin’ good). I watched, amused, and took a few videos with my phone until she was calm and willing to walk.

Her brain was still not all there, and she moved from her appointed position a few times, but I handled it much better than the last time. I calmly moved her back when she stepped forward, gave her hay to help her stay in place and worked to get us ready to ride so she didn’t have to stand too long. It worked much better than making it a big “thing”, and we both stayed calm and happy.

I wasn’t sure how our ride would go, but Sofie walked calmly on a long rein, unbothered by the roaring, door-slamming wind (goooood hormonal Sofa). We did have issues with her wanting to drift in off the rail on one side of the arena (I think because she was hormonally challenged anf herdbound) but I just moved her over, and over, and over. After our free walk I picked up the contact and worked on our connection on a circle. She responded to finger pressure on the reins, and I just played with the bit while using my inside leg to get her bending properly. I worked on both sides, and it felt like we had a good connection. It was really nice to just do some nice, quiet work with her listening and willing.

After getting the walk really nice we went into the trot. The trot work was quite good; tracking right, she was much improved from the beginning. She still wanted to fall in and needed quite a bit of support with the inside leg, but she wasn’t inverted and she responded to my hands when I asked her to flex and soften. I was very happy with that. She was not as good tracking left, possibly because of being in heat or maybe just because she likes to switch up her bad side to keep things interesting. She went forward well and was surprisingly willing. She did think about being pissy a few times, particularly when I clucked to her right by the door that leads to her friends (oh no I did-n’t. All she really did was slow down, twist her head back a little and make a face, which I pretty much ignored, and she got over herself quickly. Note to self: It really does work better to finesse stuff whenever possible.

After a little internal debate I decided to canter her. I wasn’t sure how she would be, but I expected at least a little bucking/balking/fire breathing, given her hormonally challenged status. I didn’t have a whip on me either (I had decided against carrying one after her pre-ride craziness), and I like to have a whip available for corrections at this stage, but I decided to go for it. She did pretty well. She bucked mildly a couple of times, but I wasn’t at all unseated and it doesn’t bother me now. We still need to work up to cantering through two corners (and eventually the whole arena), as well as improve our steering. We also need to learn to move off my leg, not lean in, and carry ourselves properly through corners, because we can’t always just pick up the canter at one end of the arena and break into the trot before the next corner, no matter how attractive that option might be. In time, Sofa, in time.

I ended with a really good spin-on-the-forehand to the right! Yay Sofa! I was really proud of her for doing so well for me, even when she probably would have rather been staring at the geldings. We may have our challenges, but rides like that keep us going, because we know we can meet them.

Escape From Hormonal Hell

2011-02-08T09:44:00.000-08:00

We did it. Or rather, our new favorite supplement, bearing the colorful name of "B-Gooooood! (Or B-Gone)" did it. Last Sunday, the week Sofie was due to come back into heat began. We kept an eye on her all week, and she had no issues. None what-so-ever. Talk about a huge relief. I'm just so happy we have a way to manage her hormonal issues, without spaying her (which we can't afford) or dealing with synthetic hormones (I don't relish the idea or the reality of Regumate, oh, and we can't afford it). This supplement is herbal, it's not going make her fat or screw her up in any way, she likes it, she'll eat it, and it's reasonably affordable! I realize that we still don't know WHY she was in hormonal hell those last two heat cycles, but I feel pretty confident that nothing is drastically wrong with her. If she ever became aggressive or studdish, or was coming into heat every two days, then I would worry about cystic ovaries or tumors, but for right now I'm really enjoying not worrying.

We've been keeping our regular riding schedule going, and I think we're both pretty happy with our interactions. On Thursday we rode with a friend and her mare, who lives with Sofie. Sofie loves her, but the mare is dominant and can be kind of a bitch. Sometimes it's not terribly fun to ride in a small indoor with her, since quarters are close and I seriously respect the damage she could do with those hind feet (one of the mare's finest talents is kicking). But the mare was quite good, and we actually managed to get through the ride without seeing her butt way too close and personal! It was very nice. Sofie is getting used to riding with other horses, I think, since I've been riding with other people this winter. She tends to get a little defensive in the indoor when there are other horses around, I think because of the smaller space. But she's doing better.

She was stiff, but quite cooperative. I rode without stirrups for a while, hoping to not pick them up for the entire ride. I did more trot work without stirrups, and even some circles, but eventually I had to pick my stirrups up because my muscles got completely fatigued and I couldn't maintain my seat any longer. I was just all over her back, and she was not impressed. After that I did some more circle work, trying to get a fairly decent circle both ways without a lot of falling in. It's difficult for her, and there's only so much I can do before I have to move on to something else to spare her joints. Sometimes I just have to work at it until I get a little right flexion (the right is her worst side) and then give the reins and let her stretchy trot around on the rail. She likes stretchy trotting, and she goes pretty forward too. It's a nice reward for her, and still good exercise.

I did a little forward and back work in the trot, testing to see if we still had half halts (we do, yaaaay!). I played a little with rein-back, and she only got sticky about going backward when my mom came to watch, but she soon unlocked and did it beautifully again. By that point she was feeling a little less fluid in her movement, but my mom commented that she looked really good. That was nice to hear. It's so hard to tell sometimes, because I can't see how she looks, I can only feel how she feels. And sometimes she feels a little weird. We did more reining spins too, hehe.

Saturday I rode outside, and we had a great time. We worked on going straight (I felt like we were doing great with that, but the tracks don't lie, and we were really NOT straight. Oh well, we're still less un-straight than we used to be, I think!), we worked on our half halts (I LOVE having half halts!!! I cannot stress how much I freaking love having half halts!) and we worked on our rein-back a little bit. I actually rode her up beside the windows on Judy's house so I had mirror-type things, and I actually got to see how pretty she looks with her poll bent and her nose not stuck way out in the air. She backed up fairly well (she actually did better backing in deeper snow, which makes NO sense, but whatever).

Once again, I freaking LOVE having half halts. I trotted her through some places in the yard where she likes to get quick and take over, and although she was still getting crooked and wanting to drift, she maintained the trot and I didn't fear for my life. Life is so much better with half halts!

At one point we did have an unplanned canter, but I kept her on a circle so at least I was dictating where she went, and it wasn't too out of control, just a product of the momentum she needed to get her through the snow. A bit later I was trotting her along a nice stretch of deep snow, and I decided to canter her. I didn't really ask for it (didn't have to), but I eased up on my half halts, thought about closing my leg on her a little bit and she went into the canter. Actually, it may have been more of a Sofa gallop, truth be told. Anyway, it was fun. There's nothing more fun than cantering through the snow! We cantered a fair distance, and I incorporated a turn at the end. After that I didn't do too much more, and I ended with a little rein-back and some spins-on-the-forehand on a shallow patch of snow.

It's all good...

2011-02-03T10:14:00.000-08:00

Miss Sofie has been doing well. We’ve had a couple of chances to ride outside, a nice break from the monotony of arena work (although our arena work is kept interesting and stimulating by our quest for low level dressage correctness). I’ve opted to keep our snow rides on the short and easy side, limiting them to half an hour. The snow is not too dense but it does get fairly deep in places (easily up to a short-legged Paint pony’s knees), and even fairly shallow snow is still challenging to walk through. Last year we overdid our snow rides a bit, which contributed to Sofie’s hocks flaring up in a big way, putting her out of commission for five weeks. In no way did I want a repeat of that.

The opportunity for our first snow ride presented itself last week. No one showed up to ride with us, and it was a pleasant day, so I eagerly left the arena behind. Sofie listened very well, not taking over too much or rushing and drifting too dramatically. We just did walk/trot work (except for two unplanned canters, wheeee!) and went partway down the trail, which turned out to be interesting. There was serious drifting, so poor Sofa had to work hard to get through the snow. We persevered and found better footing, until we hit yet another major drift. It seemed there was a frozen layer somewhere in the two feet or so of snow, because as Sofie walked through it I kept hearing BOOM CRACK and similar noises. It sounded like she was walking on a frozen pond and breaking through the surface. Sofie just put her head down and picked her way through this strange and challenging footing. Good mare. Then we had to turn right around and go back through it. CRACK BOOM CRACKLE Sofie sigh.

Next time we were back in the indoor, and Sofie felt quite stiff and clunky at the beginning, probably the result of the snow workout (as well as an out-of-control free schooling session earlier in the week when the Sofa cantered almost nonstop for half an hour). She eventually worked out of her stiffness and we had a decent ride.

I went to the barn on a ridiculously gorgeous Saturday and we rode outside. It was so awesome to be out in the SUN, and I noticed an improvement in her listening to me. We had actual half halts, even when she was charging through the snow with quite a bit of momentum on her side! It is NICE to have half halts, let me tell you. Her straightness seems to be improving, we had a few instances of an actual semblance of bending, and her rein-backs, which I thought would be terrible (considering backing in the snow must be challenging) were awesome. It was a great ride. We did have one unplanned canter on a right circle, but it was extremely round, collected and awesome, so I'll take it.

Our last ride in the indoor, we dealt with some stiffness, some hardness on the right side of her mouth (not new) and some crankiness in the trot work, but we still had a good ride. We played with half halts and transitions in the trot, and I did some circle work both directions, just enough to get her a little more supple. Her circles ARE improving to the point of at least being a semblance of a circle. And I'm getting moments of roundness and bending. It's definitely a start in the right direction. We did a little work up the centerline, and our straightness is definitely improving.

Our rein backs continued to be awesome, with softness, flexing at the poll at moving backward with an actual forward desire! We also played a bit with turn on the forehand, since I randomly halted Sofie somewhere in the middle of the arena, and she, completely voluntarily I might add, spun around on one front leg, building speed to the point where it was reining-esque! So I played around with it, and we got some really nice turns.

Canter Visuals!

2011-01-26T08:40:00.000-08:00

Sofie and I had another good ride yesterday. We played in the snow and listened really well. We only had two unplanned canters!

Here are some stills from video taken back in October. Finally, you get to see the elusive Sofa canter!

Great Times

2011-01-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

After our few days of hormonal hell last week we've been enjoying better times. At a certain point last week, I felt like things were never going to work out for us. I don't feel that way now.

The last two rides have been really good. Seriously good. She's been doing well in some pretty cold temperatures without her Senior SmartFlex. She's been moving fine, even at the canter. Since she came out of heat she's been chill, and it's a relief for both of us.

I'm really shocked by how well she's been doing without her joint supplement. I took her off of it as a concession to Annie's theory that IR (insulin resistance) is the root of all evil. I don't necessarily agree that Sofie is IR, but I did wonder if the sugar wasn't having a negative impact. And I think that may have been a very good decision, for a few reasons.

She's not really moving any worse now that she's not on it.

Her appetite is good. She's cleaning up her hay snacks while I brush her, instead of picking at them.

Her attitude is good. Not perfect, but she's no longer touchy and sour when I groom and saddle her.

And the really big thing? She's no longer girthy.

I can girth her up with barely a backward glance from her, regardless of whether she has a pile of hay in front of her. I can shift the saddle around on her back when I find out that it's crooked. For quite a while, she's been seriously girthy - ear pinning, head snaking back, threatening to bite girthy. And now all of a sudden it's GONE. I couldn't believe it at first. I thought maybe she was just having a really good day or something, but now it's been that way two times in a row.

On Tuesday we did quite a long walk warmup, first walking around on a long rein, then taking up contact and working on flexing. She did better with flexion than she did the previous ride. Our trot work was good, we went quite forward and even had little moments of slight flexing and bending. I'm not insisting that the trot be perfectly bent and flexed all the time, because frankly, she needs to work up to that. She's spent nine years being crooked and on the forehand and NOT flexing. It's not going to happen overnight.

I rode without stirrups for a while, and put some work in riding a very forward trot without stirrups. She was kind of charging around in her semi-out of control way typically reserved for outside riding, not really listening to me when I asked her to walk. So I had to pull her down a few times. I eventually picked up my stirrups, as she kept anticipating the canter, and I am not ready to try cantering her without stirrups. I would have no problem sitting her canter, but until my canter cue is more confirmed (dressage speak for "When I don't have to worry about my horse bucking in the canter") I will endeavor to keep my stirrups.

So I picked up my stirrups and gave the canter a go. I tried it first tracking right, since she really seemed to want to canter in that direction. The second I asked for it, though, she went "YOU ASKED FOR IT, BEYOTCH", raised her head and slowed down in the trot. I kept after her, and she went into the canter, throwing in a nice little buck. She got me forward a little, but I recovered quickly. She broke to a trot, I made her canter again, she was mad, and I made her canter forward down the whole long side before asking her to trot. I think we might've gotten the right lead once, but at this point I'm not worrying too much about the leads. One step at a time, right?

Since the right canter was not working terribly well, I tried her to the left and she cantered promptly from my leg aid with no bucking and no being irate. She was quite crooked, but we'll worry about straightness later on. I was just happy she did it without protesting mightily. Good girl!

I left the canter alone after that. We worked some on the rein-back (it needs work) and some trotting without anticipating the canter. She moved well throughout the ride and was mostly content and willing.

Yesterday Sofie kept up her happy, calm attitude, and we had an amazing ride. I free schooled her briefly beforehand and she moved well at all three gaits, even taking her right lead. I also raked the sides of the arena (there was a trench worn down the long sides on the rail. Sofie doesn't like trenches. I think the unevenness is hard on her hocks). We did a nice, long walk warmup, and then I started working on flexion, preparing her for the trot work.

There were a few weak points as far as the ride was concerned. It was not her best day for flexing and bending (it was quite cold, so maybe that had something to do with it. She wasn't off at all, or anything). She particularly did not want to bend to the right, and she was reluctant to turn left. She was heavy in the outside rein while tracking left, something that's typical for her but has been better lately. So our connection wasn't terribly good, at least in the beginning. She wasn't exactly all "sunshine and rainbows" for the whole entire ride, but that's not really something I expect from her at this stage of training. The ride was a little rough around the edges in places and not totally polished.

BUT we accomplished a LOT, and it was a great ride for us.

Once again Sofie was raring to go in the early trot work, only this time she was not paying attention AT ALL. I think it was partially just energy and partially my fault. I've been so happy with our increased forward movement that I haven't insisted that I be in control of the trot speed. So she was just barreling along, paying absolutely no attention to my half halts. I had to really haul on her several times to get her to Pay Attention, and even then she was still in go go go mode. She was cutting corners and falling in, and when I attempted to move her off my leg, she'd just start trotting again. Pretty much any aid (or what she interpreted as an aid) from me, and she was off trotting. She tuning into the voice cues of the other rider in the ring very well, too. Much better than the other girl's horse, actually. But that's Sofa for you.

So after quite a few "Hail Mary", rein-centric half halts, I concluded that she needed to go forward and get some energy out of her system. I picked up my stirrups, trotted her, and decided to work on the canter. She had already broken into the canter once (NO attitude, of course...her decision). I wanted to try and get the right lead, since she'd picked it up while free schooling and she wasn't stiff behind at all. So I asked for the canter.

Instant MAD Sofa. Canter, ears back. BUCK. Canter on, break. Canter again. BUCK. Break to trot. Canter AGAIN, 'cause now I'm mad. And canter. And canter. Canter. Canter. Canter.

That was pretty much how it went for a while. She had a ton of energy that needed to be expended, and she wanted to canter, but occasionally she had to buck and get pissed because I dared to ASK her, OMG. The nerve. She would not bend, and she never did take her right lead. We basically just flew around for a while, and cantered so many times. After a while, she stopped having any attitude at all, which was really nice.

After that we took a walk break. Then we tried cantering on the left. We had attitude, of course. We bucked once or twice. But we were fairly good.

So she did a LOT of canter work, without going lame or bucking me off. She did get me forward, but fortunately she seems to stop at one buck, giving me the chance to get un-forward. Which is awfully kind of her. I continue to be fearless and able to deal with her attitude, and I even was able to reach down and rub her neck when she cantered without attitude.

Our rein-back still needs work, but I did get some good steps. I need to work on backing her on the ground. She can be sticky about going backward and set her jaw against my hand.

It was not really our day for bending at the walk, although she did do alright with flexing. She actually did a little better at the trot, and we did a few trot circles to the right that were definitely an improvement. We'll keep working on it a little at a time...

The cool part was at the end. I had been wanting some adjustability in the trot work, particularly in preparation for going outside. Sofie tends to want to get in the trot and just fly forward at whatever speed suits her. I wanted her to listen to me a little more. I wanted to trot to be my trot.

I started experimenting with half halts, kind of tensing my stomach and really controlling my posting, really slowing it down. I tried it as I turned her onto the centerline, and she actually shortened her stride and we made a very nice turn. So I kept trying it, and she listened! We went back and forth in the trot, shortening on the short sides (or wherever) and then going forward. I just really focused on controlling the swing of my hips and engaging my core to bring her down, and then to go forward I would release the tension and give her a little push with my leg and seat. She did so well, I couldn't believe our mad adjustability! We really seemed to have a good connection, too. She wasn't totally on the bit the whole time (occasionally her head came up and she got a little flat and rushy), but for the most part she felt really good. And she was willing, even at the end of a long ride (like a solid hour or maybe even more!).

So our training is going really well. I'm planning to keep working on the canter, Paying Attention, flexing and bending and also our super spiffy new transitions within the trot. The main thing I want to work on is giving her more praise. I've been so focused on my contact and everything I'm working on that sometimes I forget to really rub her neck and exclaim over her. She's working so hard for me, I want her to know she's appreciated. I want our relationship to be strong above all else. I don't want a horse who does everything she's supposed to and quietly resents me. So I need to make sure that I give her lots of praise, especially now that I'm asking for more and she's giving me more.

I'm really happy that I'm able to just enjoy her right now. I don't feel like all is lost. She went on her new hormone-balancing supplement last night (she gets six more whole ounces of pellets each day...lucky Sofa!), so we'll see how it helps her.

Hanging In There

2011-01-16T11:19:00.000-08:00

Sofie continued to be a little off, a little tucked-up and ripply in her flank area through Friday. I went home on Thursday, in the early afternoon, and we went back to the barn early afternoon on Friday. She looked okay, but still slightly tense in her flank area, and she would occasionally show a slight colic symptom (just enough to really freak me out, all over again). She was eating well and pooping, so after squirting 10 more ccs of Banamine into her mouth, my mom convinced me to go home. I really needed to be home at that point, but I still felt like a terrible horse owner for leaving her when she still wasn't 100 %. It's always so hard to know what to do. But by then she had survived several days without actually colicking and dying, and the vets we talked to said that if she was eating, drinking, pooping and peeing normally, she just needed to work through her hormonal issues. She was definitely hormonal, for sure...distracted, herdbound and TOUCHY.

So I went home, checking in with Judy occasionally, and we tried to figure out what to do with our hormonal mare. We had already figured out that Regumate was not an option. Daily injections....not happening. $300 for a two to three month supply? Not gonna work. We had already decided to try an herbal "hormonal mare" supplement, but which one? There. Are. So. Many. Out. There. We were both in internet-research sensory overload, and we needed a little time to go home and think things through. It's overwhelming, trying to figure out which supplement to try for ANYTHING, let alone something vitally important. But we decided to try an all-herbal supplement with raspberry leaves, chamomile and wild yams, and we also have some chaste berry on order, which could be sprinkled over her feed or fed free-choice. All those herbs sound like they should help her out, and at this point it's worth a try.

For now, she's back on all her supplements, except for her Senior SmartFlex. I'm keeping her off of it for now, on the off chance that the sugars are exasserbating her issues. She's still moving well, even after being off it for five days, and frankly, right now her hocks are the least of my worries.

Today she seemed to be doing really well. She was relaxed, and interested in her surroundings. Her attitude was good for the most part, too. I free schooled her, and she started out a bit short strided but warmed up and moved out pretty well. She ate a snack of hay while I groomed and tacked her up, and she didn't seem to mind the saddle or girth.

We had a good ride today. She didn't flex quite as well as she has been (of course, we hadn't ridden since Tuesday) and was rather heavy on the left rein. She wanted to fall in and get crooked, but she moved off my leg well. She moved quite forward in the trot, a bit inverted at times, but she did occasionally reach into the contact all on her own, and she accepted a steady contact. She thought about bouncing around a couple times (she might've been anticipating the canter, haha), and later on in the ride she had her ears back in a few of our trots, but that was after her girth was tightened (and the person who tightened it for me cranked it up two holes on one side, which it really didn't need...), which could have been a factor. Regardless, she went forward, and she seemed content for the majority of the ride. Our rein-back needs work again...she was pretty heavy in the mouth, and very stingy with her backward steps. Oh, well. I did experiment with half halts a couple times, and she actually shortened her stride, which was cool. I didn't canter because I wanted to take it easy for this first ride. If she's still doing well on Tuesday, I will try cantering again.

So, we had a good day, which is a huge relief. I didn't really even want to go to the barn this morning, because I had no idea what I would find. So it was good to go out there and have some fun again. We should have a few weeks in here to just have fun and relax, and she should have her new supplement by next week. Hopefully we'll be able help her feel better next time she's in heat. She was much better this time around, just from being off Devil's Claw and on Magnesium, which is somewhat reassuring.

So let's hope for no more hormonal hell!!!

Recurrent

2011-01-12T16:39:00.001-08:00

I don't even know how to begin this. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted, and there are some very grim possibilities in my head that, if I think about them too much, absolutely dissolve me.

Sofie and I have had two more forward, canter-included rides. Considerable attitude was present, right along with promise. She was energetic during rides and free schooling, but yesterday, in the aisle and out in the field with her friends, she was high-headed and starey. She seemed okay after my ride, but in the field, she was doing a lot of standing and staring. There was a weird buzzsaw type noise happening, and disembodied noises do get to her, so I didn't worry too much about her distracted, slightly tense state.

I was to stay in town that night, sleeping over at a friend's house. At around 7:40 I got a text from the barn owner. She wanted to talk to me about Sofie's supplements and her "attitude". That worried me. I didn't like the sound of that. I tried calling her but couldn't get through to her cell phone. My friend and I were driving around at 9:00, and I learned she'd been out to the barn earlier that night (she has a horse there as well), while I was attending a class at the public library. I casually asked her how Sofie was, and she said something that worried me. I couldn't get a straight answer out of her, so I asked if she wanted to go back to the barn. She did, and we went there.

Sofie's stall was bare, no output of any sort. I immediately started having flashbacks to Christmas Eve eve. She had drunk water and eaten most of her hay. Her belly wasn't overly tucked up or spasming. I let myself into the stall, checking her over, and she was touchy. Very touchy. She seemed defensive, almost angry, clearly saying "Do not touch me". Gut sounds were present, she wasn't dehydrated as far as I could tell, she wasn't sweating or pawing or fractious. But she was not right. I turned her out in the indoor for a minute, and she did poop right away, so that was good.

Sofie does have a sense of timing. Both her colicky episodes have happened when I was able to look after her.

I went up to the house to talk to Judy, who offered to let me spend the night at her house so I could check on my horse periodically. I gratefully took her up on that.

As we were talking, she told me what had been going on with Sofie. Apparently, according to the boarders who brought the horses in a couple nights in a row (Judy has been sick with a nasty flu), Sofie had been coming in and running around the arena, dodging people who tried to catch her, and turning right around to try and come back out as soon as she was let into her stall. Not normal. And they had also seen her being aggressive toward the other mares, and not letting them come to the door to be let in. Definitely. Not. Normal. As I was hearing all this, I immediately thought, "Hormones." All signs pointed to hormones. My online research did not give me a good feeling, as it turns out many of the things that can go wrong with ovaries and cause mares to be whacked out require surgical removal of the ovaries. And surgery (plus shipping to a university) is way above what would be reasonable for me to pay for.

I checked on Sofie at 11, 1, 3 and 7:30, and she remained somewhat dull and unhappy looking, but okay. She went out with her friends at 8 and did her stopping and staring routine for a while, but eventually settled down to eat. She looked fine when she was eating out with her friends, but when I went down at 11, she was alone behind the barn. She had that slightly unhappy look, and was looking at her sides. She also pawed a couple times as I watched.

At that point I decided to call the local vet office to see if I could talk to one of the equine vets. It turned out that one of them was out on farm calls, and heading to the area where Sofie's barn is located. I talked to him briefly, and arranged for him to stop by. I also called our neighbor, and she went to tell my mom what was going on.

After that I completely fell apart from all the not knowing. Not knowing if I should just wait and see. She wasn't as bad as she was on Christmas Eve, and she came through that fine. I felt terrible for spending money, and for rearranging my mom's day. So I cried semi-hysterically for a while, but in the end I knew I made the right decision. I did not feel like waiting and seeing, and the vet was going to be in the area anyway. It was the right thing to do.

My mom arrived at 1, to my intense relief, and I told her everything I knew and observed. She agreed with my decision, and I brought Sofie in and walked her in the arena until the vet showed up a few minutes later.

The first thing he did was check her back, running this weird plastic thing over the acupressure meridians (I think that's what they're called) for the ovaries. She sank, and tightened her belly, and generally conveyed pain. He listened for gut sounds, and then decided to ultrasound her to check for gut motility, and hopefully check her ovaries as well. She didn't mind the equipment, but light sedation was required (and he also felt it would help her relax, which would help with the pain), and Sofie took offense at that. Big time. She did her typical rock-hard neck, try-to-escape-down-the-aisle routine. So out came the twitch, and she got her drugs. Gut motility was good on the ultrasound, but he wasn't able to check out her ovaries. He opted not to palpate her, saying he felt the risk and reward was not good. If we do need her palpated, the senior Dr. Aho has done hundreds and hundreds of cows and horses and will be able to do the job.

So we don't quite know what's causing her to cramp like this, except that it is certainly hormonally driven. Basically, this cannot go on indefinitely. It's far too stressful on her and on us to go through this again and again, and also, it is too easy for her body to tense up from the pain, thus shutting down gut motility and throwing her into full-blown colic.

Dr. Aho suggested a couple different options (Regumate and spaying), neither of which are terribly doable. I don't like the idea or the reality of Regumate, or the (high AND ongoing) cost. If her issues are coming from cystic ovaries or a tumor, spaying would be the only real option. I really hope it doesn't come to that, because it will be a horribly hard decision to have to make.

For the short term, it looks as if she will get through this. She's been relaxed and had a good appetite ever since she came out of her sedation haze. She's had two doses of oral Banamine, the first at 3, when she was still a bit groggy, and the second at 7. I had no trouble giving it to her, even when she was fully conscious and likely had an idea what was coming. That alone is miraculous. I am so grateful to Annie for all she's taught me. Annie is amazing, and I'm just glad a little of her amazing-ness is rubbing off on me.

I did talk with Annie tonight, and she suggested a diet change. Apparently there is a supplement that is good for insulin resistant horses, and it's well balanced for any horse. Annie has a lot of horses with issues at her barn, including hormonal mares. Frankly, if this supplement isn't astronomical, I'm willing to try it. I would love it if a diet change could solve these problems. I don't know if it can, but I know Annie really knows what she's doing, and it always pays to go with her. And if there's something I can try before thinking about drastic measures, I will do it.

I really hope this can be fixed. I do not want to lose this horse now. I have to stay strong and not think too much about the worst case scenario. What's helping me is the knowledge that no matter what happens, I have been changed for the better by this horse. I am a stronger, more confident, more capable person because of her. I have learned so much from her, and the people I've come to know through her, that I know will serve me well, not just in my work with horses but in life. I fully believe we found each other because we both needed to. Whatever happens, I know our time together has been important, and I will go on and do good things. I will give myself more credit and put fewer limitations on myself, because I am more than I thought I could be, and I know that now.

Canter On!

2011-01-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

Somewhat belated Sofa Christmas photos that we took for my Christmas card...

Our recent rides have gone really well. We’ve been making some steps toward where we need to be, and though we still have a long way to go, I’m feeling more confident that we will be able to get the basics down. I really just want to have speed control, straightness/bend, self carriage and connection, and get her to use her hind end properly. I want her to be light and happy and use herself better. For a while I’ve been wanting our work to be more correct, and now that I’ve been taking lessons from a dressage trainer who knows what they’re doing, I feel like I have a better idea of what we need to work on.

Two days after Sofie’s colic, I rode her briefly at a walk, not really asking much since she was quite stiff. We did more trot work during the next ride, and she was still stiff (from not having her super-ultra joint supplement), but fairly agreeable (ears back at times and not the happiest expression, but not actively protesting and doing everything I asked).

The next day I was planning to go ride Choo-Choo, but I was still pretty dead-tired from the colic episode, and I just didn’t feel like going all the way to the Equestrian Center and working on dressage. The weather was absolutely beautiful, and I really wanted to ride Sofie outside while I had the chance. I wasn’t sure whether I should ride her through the snow, and I was a little concerned that it might adversely affect her, but I decided to just evaluate her and decide. She moved out quite a bit in the trot when I free schooled her, spazzing a bit when she heard the Ferrell Gas man pull up in his huge truck and start clanking around the barn. She continued to be rather high-headed and alert in the aisle (she was off her SmartCalm at that point too), and I had no idea how much (or how little) she was going to listen to me when we got outside, but I wanted to ride outside, so I tacked her up and went for it. She walked along fairly well, and we headed in the direction of the trail. I wasn’t sure how she would be on the trail, but I decided to take her on the trail anyway, since we were by the trail entrance. At the last minute, she decided she needed to get away from the scary corner, and went sideways, trying to avoid turning onto the trail, but I kept her going forward.

We headed down the trail. I sat on a very, very “keen” (a nice, subtle way of saying “might take off at any moment”) Sofa. Her head was up, and she was looking around at alllll there was to look at. The wind gusted through the scary, scary woods, fueling her “keen” state of being. Wind doesn’t scare Sofie, unless she’s looking for an excuse, which I think she was at that point. She started trotting, and I let her trot for a little bit, eventually pulling her down. She held it together pretty well until we turned the corner leading past the gelding field fenceline and into the woods. She started trotting again, and soon she made an effortless transition into the canter. I pretty much just sat there, going “Hey, this is fun!” I mean, there is nothing more fun than cantering through the snow. I was having a great time as she cantered on. Gradually I realized we were heading into the woods, and she was still cantering, showing no sign of slowing down. “Hmm,” I thought, “Perhaps I should see if I have brakes.” It took a few pulls to get her down to a trot and then a walk, but I was successful.

Then I started thinking about how we had to turn around eventually. “If she was that forward heading away from home,” I thought, “I hope she doesn’t take off when we turn around, because I don’t really want to find out how fast she can go.” I also quickly debated how soon to turn around, and decided that I could prolong it, but that would only give her farther to run. I opted to turn around right away, since she was now walking calmly. Once we faced in the direction of home, I left the reins loose, and kept my seat as quiet and relaxed as possible. She was very good, much to my relief. She did break into the trot a couple times, and I quickly brought her back down before she could start cantering with no warning or obvious transition, which she’s shockingly adept at. I could tell she was having to work to walk through the snow, and I knew she was thinking “You know, with a little more momentum I could have us back home in no time.”

We got back to the yard and I rode for a few more minutes, working just on walk/trot and flexion and listening to me. She was quite good overall. My mom came out of Judy’s house towards the end of the ride and told me how they’d been watching us out the window and had seen Sofie take off in a canter and then accelerate to a hand gallop (Sofa doesn’t gallop) and disappear into the woods. “I was hoping you had the situation under control,” she said. “I figured if you didn’t come back in a few minutes I was going to have to go see where you ended up.” I wasn’t aware that she’d been “galloping”, since it was so smooth and elevated and round (she was going through snow, after all. Snow = instant awesome Warmblood gaits), so it was interesting (and entertaining) to hear about it from her perspective. It was definitely a fun ride, and it was good for us to just get outside and go a little wild. I was happy to be out there enjoying my horse, who has made me afraid at times but also taken away a lot of my fear.

Back in the arena, I kept working little by little on flexion, listening to me, bending, rein-back and trot work. The weather continued to be freakishly warm, and quite a bit of Judy’s yard melted out, then froze solid when the temperature dropped. I still managed to get another outside ride in, though. The ground was like concrete but there was no ice (except a couple very avoidable patches on the driveway), and the day was cold but not windy, so it was doable at least for a light ride. Sofie was very careful on the hard surface, only thinking about breaking into a canter once (and she was easily dissuaded from that idea). I used the opportunity to work on flexion outside, as well as the big one, listening to me. I had to use strong rein aids in most of the downward transitions, when she wanted to just keep trotting and was tuning me out. I don’t like having to do that, but the alternative is letting her run the show, which I’ve been doing (in varying degrees) for too long. I haven’t been getting upset or feeling like I’m hurting her when I make a strong correction, though, which is helpful, since I’m not being abusive or unfair and I don’t need to give myself a hard time over it.

The ride was kind of rough at the edges, but she went forward when I asked, didn’t balk at any point, and eventually listened to my hand. She even flexed a bit at the trot in both directions, but I kept any bending work to a minimum on that frozen surface. Although the ride was a bit rough, she really did a great job on challenging footing, and she showed improvement in some areas we used to struggle with.

The last two rides were excellent. Well, excellent relative to our standards, but excellent nonetheless. I started carrying a dressage whip so I could reinforce my leg when necessary (and not fall into the trap of nagging her, rather than risking a confrontation). I tapped her behind my leg early on in the ride after I asked for a more forward walk and she failed to respond, which sent her into a trot. It took some convincing for her to come back down to a walk, and she continued to have lots of energy throughout the ride. She moved more forward than she has all this winter (except on the trail, heehee!), and her ears were moving back and forth, instead of sullenly back like they have been. She just felt really good. I mainly rode on the rail, but I also incorporated some circle work, and she flexed a bit at the trot, accepting a steady contact and circling fairly well. She’s not able to perform a full circle without some falling in or drifting out, but I’m not too concerned about it being perfect. I don’t want to overdo the circle work and make her sore. I’d rather just work on it a little at a time. Eventually we’ll get there.

The latest ride was pretty awesome. When I say awesome, I don’t mean anything perfect, sunshine-and-rainbows or attitude free. It was an awesome ride relative to us, and our issues, and it was an awesome ride for me and my confidence.

So, I warmed her up at a walk, letting her stretch and moving her off my inside leg when necessary. She’s typically light to lateral aids, though we haven’t done any official leg yields with straightness and crossing over and stuff like that. After a few minutes I picked up a little contact, and worked on flexion, with the idea of preparing her for the trot work. It worked well; she accepted a steady contact throughout the trot work, with a little flexion here and there. She wasn’t as forward as she had been the previous ride; she was a little stiff. But she worked well and agreeably for the beginning of the trot work.

After a while she started to feel a bit less willing - she was still doing everything I asked, but her attitude was a tad bit resentful. I used my voice a couple times, clucking to her when she needed to go forward a bit more, and that put her ears back right away. For some reason, although I frequently use voice commands when I free school her, she really doesn’t like it when I incorporate them while I’m riding. I’ve been slowly phasing in little clucks when I ride, and she invariably puts her ears back and makes a face when I cluck to her. Gradually I’ve realized that she never really escalates her displeased behavior, so I’ve stopped being intimidated.

At one point I clucked to her as she was trotting, and she got upset and revved up a bit, like she was thinking about cantering. I thought about asking her to canter, and she decided to canter, throwing her head around and generally acting like she wanted to stomp me into the ground. Halfway down the long side, she broke into a trot, and I put my heel into her side and went “No, you keep cantering!” She picked up the canter again, still giving me considerable attitude, but she didn’t buck. She cantered straight into the corner, and I stopped her just short of the blue barrels and gave her a long rein.

I had been thinking about asking her to canter in the indoor, ever since the hormonally driven crazy psycho day when I found out she could indeed canter in the smaller space in balance. She’s been moving better, she’s sound right now, and I was finally confident enough to commit fully. After a walk break, I did some more trot work, and then I sat down, put my outside leg back and kissed to her. She took the canter instantly, and I felt a lot of energy, though some of it was distinctly tainted with baditude. Her canter still felt kind of “wild and western”, a little crow-hoppy, a bit all over the place as she made sure to tell me where I could go. But still, things didn’t escalate, and I never felt afraid or in danger of being thrown. I felt confident, fearless. I felt like a cowgirl on my bitchy, opinionated little Paint mare who is the best thing that ever happened to me.

After our canter, I let the reins out to the buckle and she powered along in the trot, stretching down consistently, even when I had to make a steering correction. After a little more trot work, I walked her on a long rein until Annie showed up to trim her feet.

So, for the first time since June of 2009, we cantered fully by my choice. After Sofie’s feet got fixed, and we discovered all her compensation issues, I got into the habit of letting her canter when she wanted to, figuring she knew what she could handle. Eventually I lost my nerve, and I couldn’t even think about asking her to canter without becoming anxious. At the end of our one and only lesson with Idiot Trainer (just before Sofie’s hock arthritis was diagnosed), I asked her to canter without conviction, while leaning forward, too scared to think or ride properly, knowing I made the wrong decision. She didn’t canter. She kept trotting, and eventually kicked up with both hind feet, saying “Enough.” After that, it took me a long time to get confident enough to ask again. In the fall, I started to ask for the canter, making sure to set myself up for success.

So it takes time. I don’t like to rush myself, or my horse, and I don’t see anything wrong with that. We may have very little in the way of correct Dressage with a capitol D, but we started with a lot of issues, we’ve had a lot of setbacks, and we have something to show for our time together.

I have made mistakes. I let her take over a bit at times, and now I’m in the process of retraining her. Is she always happy with this new development? No. She doesn’t like being told what to do, and she’s a bit set in her ways. But I’m working to teach her what I want and need the best way I can, and she’s learning.

I’m excited to keep working on the basics, and now the canter. We need to work on the right lead, and make sure she uses herself evenly instead of always taking the left lead. We need to work to extinguish her bad reaction to voice commands over time. I need to establish steering at the canter (I was pretty much concentrating on staying on, and I didn’t think to steer, so she kind of cut in).

I’m amazed at how fearless I’ve become, and how capable I feel. I tend to be rather fearful by nature, and I’ve struggled with my confidence on and around horses for a long time. I used to panic at any slight hind-end bounce or baditude from Sofie. Now I’m able to ride through it and even enjoy it. I love this feeling.

Christmas Eve Colic

2010-12-28T08:20:00.000-08:00

Let me preface this by saying that Sofie came through this fine, and is alive and well.

I spent a lot of time at the barn right before Christmas. Far more than I expected or wanted to. I occasionally work at the barn (Judy has quite the arsenal of AM barn cleaners, but sometimes people are out of town or busy with the holidays, and I step in whenever I can). I stayed at Judy's house Wednesday night, planning to work the barn Thursday and Friday morning and go home later in the morning on Friday.

I didn’t end up riding Wednesday night (I was dragged out from my lesson earlier that day and short on ambition), but I free schooled Sofie so she would get a little exercise. She moved well. I rode on Thursday, and Sofie free schooled like a maniac, galloping around the arena like she hasn't in quite some time. She had a fair amount of energy when I rode her, and we rode for a solid 45 minutes, incorporating more trot work. She held up well. I did notice the the girth became exceptionally loose, and when I untacked her I saw that her belly was less pronounced than it normally is. But she seemed okay, so I figured maybe she was just getting into better shape. She has been working more.

I went back down to check on her and give her a bit more hay at around 8:30, and I even got out of bed and went down at 10 to check for gut sounds, because she just seemed off to me. I thought I was probably being paranoid (I have that tendency), but I was just concerned about her. She didn’t seem quite right. Gut sounds were present, and she was eating and drinking. Nothing was overtly wrong, so I went back up to the house and went to sleep until 6:30.

In the morning I went right to her stall to check on her. She had drunk a good amount of water, and there were three piles of manure in her stall but no urine. She seemed a bit dull, not quite right, but again, nothing was overly amiss. I gave Sofie her morning grain, and she cleaned it up. Then she went outside with the mares, we cleaned the barn, and I kept an eye on her. She was eating, so I figured she was okay. But I still had a nagging sense that something was wrong. When my mom arrived to take me home at around 11, I went to catch Sofie so she could take a look at her. When I walked up to her I saw she was very “tucked up”, like a greyhound, and she was clenching her abdomen.

I started walking her, alternating between trying to stay calm and hysterical crying, and my mom went up to talk to Judy and call vets. We couldn't get ahold of anyone at first, (Christmas Eve, remember?) so I just walked her for a while. She wasn't fractious at all, just kind of high-headed and distracted, but after a while she started to lower her head and calm a bit. One of the vets, an equine specialist who's based in Wisconsin (he travels to our area several times a year and does the teeth of many of the horses in my barn) called back and said it sounded like gas colic, and to give her 10 cc of Banamine IM, and put her in her stall with no hay. We managed to distract her with an apple and we got the Banamine into her (Sofie is bad about shots, unless Chiro Lady gives them to her). She stood calmly in her stall, not freaking out or even pawing, and we went into the house to "relax" for a little while. I didn’t feel great about leaving her in a stall, since walking seems more beneficial to a colicky horse than standing around, but I was exhausted and we had no other advice at that point.

I checked on her every half hour for a while, and she remained calm, just waiting by her door. Her belly was still clenching, however, and that worried me. Eventually Annie, our trimmer, called and gave us our local vet's cell phone number (we weren’t able to reach him through the vet office, and we knew she had his number from a recent colic at her barn). According to Annie, it didn't sound like gas colic, since she wasn't passing gas and she wasn't blown up like a blimp.

My mom called our local vet up, and the first thing he asked was "Is she in heat?" Yes. Sofie had peed a couple times in her stall, and she was winking. And she had been having a pretty major hormonal week. He said it sounded like her heat cycle had kicked her into colic, and he said to keep her on Banamine, and that as long as she didn't get worse, he didn't see a need for tubing or anything drastic, but we needed to keep an eye on her.

Somewhere in there I took her for a walk outside, and she walked around happily enough, even lowering her head and pushing her nose through the snow. She happily grazed through the snow (the area where I walked her had almost no snow due to odd drifting patterns) and didn’t look sick at all, apart from not having a belly. I had a little hope at that point that she would be okay.

While we were outside she saw her friends, and became distracted, especially when they decided to take off and gallop behind the barn. I decided to lead her out back and see if she would drink from the trough (she had yet to drink from her bucket in her stall). She refused to drink, of course, so I led her back into the barn because she needed more Banamine. She was not happy to leave her friends and began acting very herdbound and distracted. I felt really stupid for having gotten her all worked up right before we had to try to get more Banamine into her. We had been told my our vet not to give her more injections unless we had to, because she could get an abscess, so we tried to give her some oral Banamine, and she threw her head violently, nearly giving both of us a concussion. It was clear that wasn’t working, so then we had to try to give her another shot. I realized if I positioned her so she could stare out the window at the field where her friends were, she might become sufficiently distracted for us to get the Banamine into her, and it worked. She was so fixated on the view into the field that she didn’t even feel the shot until it was too late for her to do anything about it.

We stuck her back in her stall, and she stood by the door, staring tensely at the field. I wondered if she would be better off moving around normally with her friends, and my mom called the vet again to find out if she could be turned out. He said she could go out, and that half her normal ration of hay was acceptable. She still needed to be monitored, and it was important that she manured.

I decided to turn her out, and she galloped off to find her friends, who then ran back behind the barn with her. Once they stopped running around, she pawed a little and kicked at her belly twice. I did not want to see that. I wound up bringing her in because I was afraid she was going downhill, and I needed to watch her. I turned her out in the indoor arena so I could keep an eye on her from the heated office, and I saw her lift her tail, so I went in to investigate. Her manure was normal, and she didn’t kick at herself again. She alternated between trotting around a little, standing around with her head really high, and pawing at the door that leads to her friends. The situation was not terrible, but she still wasn’t fully better, and I had no way of knowing if she was just experiencing cramps, or if there was something wrong inside that we couldn’t fix. I also had no idea if we could get a vet if we needed one. At this point, my mom had to leave to take care of our animals at home, and she left me our cell phone and took off. I went back to watch Sofie. I called the vet once, because I was worried about her having kicked at her belly, and he was encouraged by her having manured. He said from what I told him, she sounded okay, and as long as she didn’t get any worse she should come through it.

Judy left for church around three, and I was alone for a few hours. I wound up putting Sofie back in her stall because she seemed calmer in there than in the arena. I didn’t know what was best for her at that point. I wanted to do the right thing for her, but it was so hard to know what that was. Horse people rarely agree on anything, so as an owner you’re always getting a stereo effect of different, and wildly varying opinions. This can make even online research of bits stressful, and when you’re in a situation when something is quite clearly wrong with your horse, something you have no way of knowing the cause of, that could take a bad turn at any time and take your horse away from you, that stereo effect is terribly stressful. I knew overall that the signs were good, and she’d gotten no worse and maybe a little better, but I was still really scared. I’d never dealt with a colic before, and even though people assured me that it wasn’t all that bad, it was my horse. I have never felt anything so horrible as that not knowing. At certain points, I just thought, I can’t lose her now, there’s so much we haven’t done.

I continued to check on Sofie. There was a small amount of hay in her stall, and eventually she began to eat again. She still wasn’t fully better, but she continued to handle it well. My mom got back around 5:30 or so, and we had something to eat (I’d barely eaten all day). She called up the vet, who said to keep Sofie on Banamine. Our instinct was that she should have another shot that night anyway. But we didn’t know how we were going to get another shot into her. Sofie is not a good patient, and she was done cooperating for shots. At around 6:30 we were calling up anyone we could think of who could help get a shot into Sofie. I got ahold of Annie and gave her the update. She had a mare at her barn who was experiencing a similar colic. I said “I know you probably can’t get away, since you’ve got a situation of your own, but we just really need to get another shot into Sofie.” She told me she’d be there in an hour.

Annie is amazing. Truly amazing. She left her own mare to drive forty minutes out to my barn, and she checked Sofie’s vitals, all of which were great. She checked her gums, tucking herself into Sofie’s neck and persisting as Sofie threw her around, until she was able to slide her hand under Sofie’s lip and massage her front teeth. “This is an endorphin spot,” she said, and Sofie quit fighting. Her ears went forward, and she got kind of a dumb, surprised look on her face. When Annie was able to handle Sofie’s mouth, she went to the other side and did the same.

Then she took Sofie into her stall and stuck a needle in her neck. Sofie started spinning around her, tensing her neck like only she can and bending the needle. On the second try Annie held the needle in her neck and followed her around until she stood for the shot (all the while Annie was going “Oh, you hate me! Oh, you’re such a drama queen,” etc.). Once she was released, Sofie went back to her hay, simmering and glaring. She was pissed.

Annie told us to make sure she got lots of hay and turnout, but no grain for five days, and to monitor her output. She said Sofie looked good, and that it seemed cyclical (cramps). She told me to check on her at midnight and 3 AM, and left me some oral Banamine to give her if she needed it, but told me not to use it if I didn’t need to, since it’s tough on the stomach. I was willing not to. She was eating her hay and had drunk some water before Annie left and we went up to the house.

At midnight there was a little manure in Sofie’s stall, and she looked good, though still tucked up. I gave her more hay and decided she would be alright until morning. I left a note for the women feeding and cleaning the barn in the morning, asking them to leave her stall and water bucket so I could see what she’d done in the night.

I woke up at 6:30, probably because that was my wake-up time for two nights before, and decided to walk down to the barn to check on Sofie. My mom had checked on her at 4 and then taken off for home to take care of our other animals. Sofie looked perky, and she’d drunk at least a third of a bucket (a good amount for her), and there were three manure piles and some pee in her stall. She went out with the mares and I went back to bed.

Later on that morning I went out to the field to check on her. She was still somewhat tucked up, and was occasionally pawing, shaking her head or glancing at her sides. I was utterly exhausted, and I had no idea if she was getting worse or if she was just in a little discomfort. Annie had said this could go on for another day. I was immensely relieved when my mom showed up. We went out to look at Sofie, and she thought she looked good. She hadn’t had any Banamine since 7:30 the previous night, and she seemed to be holding her own. We took some hay out and watched Sofie while we cleaned out the shelter, and she ate enthusiastically, so we went to lunch at a restaurant that was having a Christmas buffet (it was like the only place open). We ate a good meal and then drove back to the barn. When I looked in on Sofie she looked good. By then 24 hours had gone by, and she’d been off Banamine for 14 hours. It was still hard to leave her, but I was fairly confident that she would be fine. I knew things would have escalated before that point if there had been anything seriously wrong with her, so I gave her a hug and we packed up my stuff and drove home. I needed to be home, at that point. I was ready to stop being a horse owner and just be a boarder for a little while. I continued to check in on Sofie and recieve updates via text messaging, and we drove out on Sunday afternoon to see her in the flesh. She was fine, and I even rode briefly at a walk.

Sofie has been fine since. We don’t know for sure what happened, but the consensus is that the colic was cyclical (cramps) rather than digestive, which makes the most sense. This winter has been hell for mares in my area, with colics, prolonged, raging heats, etc. Another contributing factor was that Sofie had been missing out on her magnesium supplement due to salt being put in the grain to encourage more water consumption. We weren’t informed of this ahead of time, and I didn’t know what was going on until I saw the salt in the feed cans (and the mound of salt, SmartCalm and coco soya oil in the bottom of her feeder). A lack of magnesium could well have contributed to her crazy heat and the cramping she experienced. The hay recently changed, and Sofie hasn’t been fond of it, so she hasn’t been eating it as well. And we just pulled her off her SmartFlex Senior supplement. She got no supplements for several days after she colicked as a precaution, and we did find out that the SmartFlex Senior very clearly helps with her arthritis (she was quite stiff when we stopped feeding it, and much more fluid when we put her back on it). But her appetite for hay, as well as her general attitude, improved when she was not on the supplement, and declined when we started feeding it to her again. I’ve been slightly concerned for a while, as I felt her appetite for hay was not where it used to be, and she’s been quite girthy for some time now. Her attitude has not been great, and it seems that the Devil’s Claw in the supplement is causing her some discomfort in her stomach. So we’re switching to the herb-free SmartFlex Senior, which will hopefully help her move just as freely, without the negative impact on her stomach.

So we’re still working out some management issues, trying to find what’s best for her, but I feel like we’re on the right track. She is here, and I want her to be as happy and comfortable as possible.

Ahhhh, that's better.

2010-12-22T18:08:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was better, definitely. In pretty much every way.

I caught Soapdish (she let me walk up to her, which made me feel better), brought her in and free schooled her (yeah, I'm never not doing that again...so I say) to assess the damage (if there was any) from her craziness. She didn't look amazing, or anything, but she wasn't lame and her movement did flow. So I shrugged and led her into the barn to tack her up.

She was less touchy; I got fewer headshakes and ugly faces. She seemed in a pretty good mood overall, and was even somewhat less girthy. She dove for the bit as usual. She did have a slight issue standing at the mounting block, and she walked off before I wanted her to, but I only had to halt her once. I opted to ride without stirrups (I'm really trying to get back into stirrup-less riding. My seat needs some work, and my confidence always does), so I just left them hanging at her sides (I have single layer, bottom-adjust stirrup leathers and they don't cross over well. Fortunately she doesn't mind them terribly as they hang there). She walked around well, swinging through her back (she may not overstride, but she has SO much movement through her body at the walk).

She flexed well, turned well and seemed interested in what we were doing. The rein-back, which was one of the few high points of Psychotic Sunday, was kind of a sticking point yesterday. She wanted to creep backward, stepping incredibly short and not using herself at all, though she did drop nicely at the poll. When I asked her for more in the way of actual purposeful steps, she often got wooden and resistant, but I worked on her response until she gave me a little more and then quit. I think she may have been a little sore from actually using her hind end a little, but she needs to learn to use herself now that her hocks are not such an issue. When she pulls herself around with her front end, she ends up hurting too, so I just kept insisting that she give a little more. At one point during one of my attempts, she completely locked and stopped moving entirely, so I had to get stronger with my hands (which I hate hate HATE having to do, but sometimes I need to, and a brief, strong correction is not harmful and occasionally necessary). At the height of her resistance she stuck her nose as far out as it would go, opened her mouth and swung her head from side to side, but she did "give" eventually. She did have some very good moments of rein-back, when she really flexed at the poll, and that carried over into our other work. I was concerned that she might be going behind the vertical (she seemed really low), but my friend whom I was riding with said she was not behind the vertical at all. I think I'm so used to her being way out in front of the vertical (or inverted) that when she really flexes, I kind of go "Where is your head?!"

Sofie did very well at the trot, holding up much better. She had moments when she was slightly off, but nothing like the head-bobbing stuff she has been going through. We did a lot more trot work, and she was pretty willing (though I need to start carrying a dressage whip and make sure I don't regress into nagging). She listens well to my leg in the upward transitions, but I tend to nag her to keep going rather than leaving my leg off and correcting her when she slows, simply because she doesn't take much leg even when I use it improperly, and sometimes I just don't want to deal with a potential confrontation (particularly when I'm riding without stirrups and I have no dressage whip). I'm sure it will be easy to make the necessary adjustment, I just need to start working on it. But anyway, the trot work was quite an improvement. She even volunteered some flexion at times, and toward the end of the ride she started to drop her head periodically, wanting to stretch, so I let the reins out to the buckle and she stretched down definitively without bringing her head back up. It was so nice to be able to do some trot work without having her go lame.

We ended the ride with a really obedient, prompt halt and a lovely, light rein-back. Good Sofa!! I spent some time petting her after I dismounted, and she seemed to enjoy it.

It was a big relief to have things go better. I'm feeling quite hopeful, especially since her front-end lameness is steadily improving, even after her trot-and-canter extravaganza on Sunday. Things are not as bad as they have been looking, it seems. There will always be dark times, there will always be worries and wretched days. We will both lose our minds on occasion, but we forgive, and we learn.

Crazy psycho banana nuts

2010-12-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

Well. Sunday was “interesting”.

I got to the barn and went to catch Sofie. She seemed fine and normal, except for turning away from me, repositioning herself, and then turning back to me, like “Now you can catch me”. She is a weird horse, though, and she’s done that before so I thought nothing of it. She was tracking up at the walk and seemed to be moving fine, so I decided to just tack her up and ride without free schooling, KNOWING the one day out of one hundred that I make that decision WILL be the day she loses her brains.

She stood fine, picked up all her feet and ate a little hay (spreading most of what I gave her out because she doesn’t like the new hay for whatever reason). She was still very, very touchy, and I got a lot of head shakes and ugly faces (sometimes when I wasn’t even touching her). I got the saddle on her, and she didn’t stand all that well (she was preoccupied with shaking out the hay I gave her, looking for the good parts). Then I went back into the tack room to get something, and things started to go downhill. I thought I heard her walk off, and came out of the tack room to find that she had indeed walked off, went to her head and backed her up to where she was supposed to be standing, told her to stay, and went back into the tack room to put on my boots. I got my boots half on when I heard her walk off AGAIN, and I rushed out to find her down by the arena door. I think this was the point where I started yelling, and I went to her head and made her back up. She backed up unwillingly, leaning on me and being heavy, and at this particular point I was not in the mood, so I smacked her chest, jerked on the lead rope and basically got up in her face until she gave me more of a back-up. She was really, super high-headed by this point, and as soon as I went back into the tack room to get the bridle, she was down the aisle yet again. More yelling, more backing up, more agitation. When I let her stop backing she shook her head at me, and I was seriously not in the mood so I smacked her on the neck. She stood there all high-headed and tense, and I stood there trying to figure out how I was going to get my bridle, since she apparently couldn’t stand on her own for two seconds. I was not feeling great because all I’d wanted to do was have a nice, calm little ride outside (it was gorgeous out, of course), and I felt like I shouldn’t have gotten so mad at her and that I’d probably made her worse, and I knew I should have free schooled her but now it was too late to do anything about that because there was a horse being ridden in the indoor, so I was just going to have to ride her. A boarder came in from the indoor at that point and I asked her if she could grab my bridle, then I put the bridle on Sofie (who put her head down, flapped her lips and picked the bit right up and then cranked her head way up again and went back to her freaked-out setting) and we went in the indoor to warm up because I was not taking her outside right then.

She didn’t want to stand for me to mount, and once I did get on her she walked off immediately. I had to stop her at least half a dozen times before I got my feet in the stirrups, and then she walked around reasonably well, not super relaxed but not taking off either. I didn’t end up riding long because the mare who was being ridden was having issues, and being in there with her and trying to stay out of her way in a small arena (with her cantering and us walking) was not fun at all, so I took the mounting block and my horse outside. Sofie immediately decided to stare at a plow truck, and I walked her around hoping she would calm down but she didn’t. The only positive was that she didn’t completely lose it and run me over/get away/drag me around. She walked by my side most of the time and stopped when I asked. She was just a completely tense mess, and by this point I was really feeling bad for getting so angry with her before.

Eventually I figured out I was not going to be able to ride her outside, since I knew she wouldn’t stand for me to mount, or if she did, she’d walk off immediately and I’d have no stirrups (when I don’t have someone around to hold the off side stirrup, I use the three-step mounting block and get on without stepping in the stirrup. That way the saddle doesn’t slip and I can leave the girth looser, since the saddle never shifts when I ride). I also knew it was not a good idea to even try to ride her outside when she had so obviously lost her mind for whatever reason, but my alternative was going back in the indoor with the mare who kicks (and was not having a good day either). I wound up going back into the barn, and the other girl was done riding so I took psycho pony back in the indoor. At first she walked around, fairly reasonably, but then she starting trotting (and not the way she has been trotting; it was a big, huge, fast trot). I just went with her, figuring she needed to burn some energy. I might’ve enjoyed it (I haven’t felt her move that forward in a while), but I was slightly preoccupied by certain things, like, my horse was completely psycho insane, I felt like a complete idiot, I figured she was probably going to hate me or be afraid of me now, and it was gorgeous outside and I was in the dingy indoor with my psychotic horse.

She wasn’t lame at first but she started to feel a bit off. That did not deter her in any way, however. She barreled along in the trot, and then (this is how bananas she was) she broke into a canter. In the indoor. Under saddle. She threw her head a bit in the depart, and I instinctively half-halted and went “HEY!” because I had no idea if she was going to kick out or completely lose it or what she would end up doing, but she went along in a nice canter, halfway around the arena, balancing just fine and handling the corners with no issues. I haven’t cantered her in the indoor since JUNE of ‘09.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

After that we trotted some more, racing around and trying to cut corners (her) and trying stop cutting corners (me). She felt okay at times and head-bobbly at others, but not too bad considering how fast she was going. I’m not sure how much of that was adrenaline and how much she’s going to pay for it later. It will be interesting to find out how this affects her shoulder issue. Something to look forward to, right?

In between trotting around like a maniac, we did some walk work, and at least I know she really knows about flexing (in the walk, at least), because she still flexed beautifully and lightly, even though she was having a mind-loss issue. And, whether it was a continuation of our recent rein-back improvement under saddle, or due to her fearing/respecting my authority more since I totally lost it, her rein-backs were AWESOME. They have NEVER been that good. She was light, she flexed at the poll but stayed on the vertical, and she actually used her hind end. It was pretty freaking cool. Small comforts.

And when I dismounted I saw we had foam, like an actual white lipstick of foam. Dressage people love foam, right? I have to say, I have serious doubts concerning foam. It supposedly means the connection is good, but apart from the walk work, we had absolutely no connection. I think in this case (and probably a lot of cases) the presence of foam has more to do with tension, or heavy contact (like most dressage people ride with...).

I walked her around for a bit (she actually broke a bit of a sweat on her chest for the first time this winter) afterward, and she was still distracted and high-headed at times. She did seem to enjoy her face-brushing, which made me feel a little better. When I turned her out she immediately went off to stare at something in the distance.

Turns out when they brought the horses in the night before I rode, Sofie ran around the arena not wanting to be caught, and went to her stall high headed and totally tense. She didn’t finish her grain Sunday morning, and Sunday evening she ran around the arena once again before letting Judy take her to her stall. She has been eating her food at least, though. She’s had days when she lost her mind before, but this is a little prolonged and dramatic for her. It seems almost like she’s in heat (I’ve only ever noticed her being in heat twice before, but she tends to be really distracted to the point of not being able to stand still), and she’s not the first mare I’ve seen (or heard about) having weird hormonal things happening recently. It’s my best guess. I’ll just have to see what happens. Hopefully this will pass, and not turn out to be something major that requires a vet and a whole bunch of money and drama.

I would like to be able to take advantage of this energy, but since she’s still having lameness issues under weight I can only do so much. I hope she stops being both psycho AND lame, so I can deal with the psycho (or lameness) better. I think it would be better that way.

On the positive side, even though it SUCKED, I did learn from Sunday. I learned that sometimes I do need to discipline her. I want to be soft and light and be her friend (I’ve often been called “passive” by instructors), but she needs to respect me too. I don’t like “getting after” horses, and I give her the benefit of the doubt a lot because of her issues, but I think I need to ask for a little more. I hate that I yelled and jerked on her, but I did get my message across. I should have been less emotional, but sometimes I think I do need to raise the volume.

I also need to praise her more. I think I only rubbed her neck once on Sunday, and it really helps her. I’m always upset with myself when I don’t praise her enough, so I need to make sure I do. I think that will help both of us.

And I know now that she can canter just fine in the indoor. If she is ever sound again, I need to ask her to canter in there. If I’m going to do that, I need to commit and I need to be prepared to follow through. I’m sure I will get drama when I flat-out ask her for the canter, since I’ve been letting her choose when she canters for so long (although I did work on asking for the canter this fall, but that was outside and I kind of stacked the deck in my favor). I need to be able to make it happen. But at least I know she can do it, so maybe eventually I can get us past this.

I just want to be able to do things. I hate not knowing what’s going on with her.

Our December (So Far)

2010-12-18T08:15:00.000-08:00

From October...

December has been kind of hard on Sofie. As I recall, this wasn’t her favorite month last year either. She definitely isn’t in terrible shape, but she does have her complaints. I have been riding this month, but only four times so far, and mostly at a walk. Our rides have ranged from completely frustrating and depressing (though that was mainly due to issues in my own head) to (recently) quite fun and hopeful.

Sofie’s feet were trimmed on the 10th. When Annie came out to trim her (sick, to the point of having trouble breathing…I love Annie, she is incredibly, scary dedicated), we told her about Sofie’s head-bobbing lameness issue, and I jogged Sofie for her. Annie checked her over carefully and didn’t find much of anything, except for possibly a little back sensitivity. So she couldn’t really give us any ideas, except for what we already knew about her issues (hocks, chest, shoulder, sternum, oy). At least we got to see how much Sofie really respects (and maybe, just slightly, fears) Annie. She’s been very reactive when either one of us touches/grooms/massages her chest (particularly the permanent divot from when she ran into a barn wall), but while Annie was going over her chest and the surrounding areas she never once put her ears back, and she only turned her head slightly once.

Her feet are still good. They were definitely due for a trim, and it’s nice to have them shorter. The snow doesn’t pack in them nearly as much. Sofie was fairly cooperative for Annie, except in the beginning (she likes to yank her front feet away from Annie when she holds them between her legs). I really hate when she’s bad (she can be pretty bad) because Annie is such a great trimmer. She never resorts to abuse or freaks horses out (except in that slightly mind-blown, good way, like “OMG I’m backing down the aisle at a high rate of speed with this little tiny woman plastered to my chest…how did this happen?!”). And she’s so dedicated to my horse, so it’s kind of horrifying when my dumb horse is an ass while she’s working on her.

Sofie’s been doing better and worse in different respects. She’s moving better overall. She has less stiffness and more fluidity in her hind end. She’s showing more hock action than she has in quite some time. But she seems to be having front-end issues now. This does not seem to be a new or acute thing, but more of the same/ Sofie has a long-standing tendancy of "overuse" type, compensatory aches and pains. When she uses herself properly, her hocks tend to get ouchy, so then she pulls herself around with her front end and ends up with shoulder issues. She has also had sternum issues in the past. And then there’s the muscle damage to her chest from when she ran into the wall trying to fit through a fairly narrow opening at the same time as this other mare. That happened a couple years ago, but it clearly still bothers her at times. Lately she’s been reactive during grooming, and she’s also been quite girthy. And there’s the head-bobbing thing that comes up.

We keep checking her, and she has no heat anywhere, no swelling anywhere. She never really does. Choo-Choo’s legs are funky and have fill all over the place, but Sofie’s have always been tight and hard. I’ve thought about all kinds of stuff, like ulcers, saddle fit (I don’t think it’s saddle fit and I really really don’t want it to be), magnetic therapy, massage (I wish I had access to a good, reasonable massage therapist…most of the ones around here seem to be kind of nuts), rest, should I have a vet out, etc. I’m kind of holding off on making any sudden, dramatic moves. This is nothing we haven't gone through with her before, except for the lameness. I'm not used to her being lame, and I don't like it. I kind of feel like a bad person for riding her right now, but it's not as if I'm making her do anything strenuous. All I'm doing is trying to maintain what little fitness she has, since it won't help anything if she turns into a fat pony couch potato. I wouldn't ride her if she came out of the pasture lame, and I wouuld stop if she told me to, but she hasn't. She’s still trying, she’s still willing. Not that she always has her ears up and perky (unlike a certain toy-like Morgan), but she hasn't acted out or flat out told me "NO WAY." She'll even trot when I ask her to (I've been limiting the trot work to a few strides each direction, just to evaluate her, when I ride). I'm sure she would head-bob her way around the whole arena, multiple times, if I wanted her to. Which is atypical for her. Either she's decided to become a martyr (not likely), she REALLY loves me (I would like to think so, but maybe not so likely), or, as Annie said "It must not bother her too much if she's able to keep working."

She’s gone through crabby phases before, so hopefully this will pass and she’ll feel better. I just want her to be okay. I feel like she will be, and I really hope so.

The last couple rides have been good, particularly the most recent one. I’ve been riding with a friend, and Sofa was really excited to have another horse in the arena (not…she does enjoy making ugly faces at him, though). She’s really starting to “get” poll flexion and respond nicely to the rein aids. I’ve been working on that with her for a few rides now, just little bits at a time, and she was kind of resistant at first but now it seems she’s figured it out, at least at the walk. She did so well with flexion last time. I was amazed. She even reached down into the contact definitively but without pulling, just like Choo-Choo started to do in my last lesson. I swear the two of them have been talking, and Sofie just had to show me she could do it just as well as Choo-Choo. Fine by me. I hope Choo-Choo tells Sofie how to keep her ears up and canter in the arena!

I also worked on moving Sofie off my leg, not trying for any dramatic crossovers right now but just some sideways response. She was pretty light to my leg the last time I rode her. I do need to work on not nagging…I think I give a little too much support with my seat and leg. Not so much that it wears me out, but a bit too much. She’s so light, I don’t want to make her dull. The Jesse lessons have helped me figure out what I need to do with her, and the little adjustments I need to make for everything to be better and more correct.

I did some rein-back the last two rides. She did much better this last time than she did previously. And she was much sounder at the trot. She actually did several trot transitions, and trotted more than halfway around the arena once before she started head-bobbing. I rode without stirrups the entire time, except for the few minutes I rode outside. She was calm yet energetic and seemed happy to be out there. It was really fun, a really good ride for both of us, and it reminded me why I love my horse. Even with all her soundness issues, she’s still trying for me. And much as I love the adorable little Choo-Choo, with her soundness and unceasingly willing attitude, I know I could never have ridden her without Sofie. And don't tell Sofie this, but eventually I would probably get bored with a super-willing, seemingly opinionless horse.
Shhhhhhhh.

As a super special reward for reading all the way through this super excitingness, I present Our Super Specialty - bad conformation photos! You know you love them. Actually, though, I must say that these are not too bad, by our standards. The hay belly, sickle hocks and fuzziness cannot be helped. The shavings tail fail was a regrettable oversight.

Always something...

2010-12-08T07:59:00.000-08:00

Well, I did have three rides at the end of November/beginning of December, but recently it's gotten colder, and when I last saw Sofie on Sunday she went lame after I free schooled her a while. Her hocks seem to be alright; she was stiff but not horribly so. It seems to be a shoulder issue now, which would make sense since she's been reactive during grooming. She was a dent in her chest on the right side from when she ran into the wall of the run-in shed (she thought she AND another mare could fit through the opening at the same time...yeah, not likely), which tends to bother her at times. I wouldn't be surprised if she managed to crack her shoulder a little, which could explain her reactivity and front-leg lameness. We checked her leg and there was no heat or anything, but she was head-bobbing lame, even at the walk, which is never nice to see. After I turned her out she just stood in one place for a while, probably resting her bad shoulder. She's smart that way. I felt like complete crap after we left, since she had been happy and perky when I went out to bring her in (she's been happy to see me and walking up to me and everything) and I just hate it when she goes lame. I'm not used to seeing her go lame, either, since she usually shuts everything down before she ever goes lame. But lately she's been willing to work until she's lame, and then work some more. I'd like to think that she really likes me and wants to work for me, but I don't know how accurate that is, or if the arthritis is just progressing to the point where she WILL be lame some of the time. It's not that bad, but still....arrrrrgggh, Sofa.

Oh, and I was worried about her yesterday, so I texted Judy to find out if she had been looking okay. Apparently she felt good enough to run around the arena and be all uncooperative when they brought the horses in, the evening after she went lame. Arrrrgh, horse!!

We'll see how she is today...